A new month begins, and so it’s once more time to harvest the previous month’s dreams as shared on Twitter and see whether there’s any greater sense to be made of them when they’re gathered all in one place.

Last month, guest appearances were by Hodor, Henry Kissinger, Tina Fey, Mr. Bean, and more!

September 2014

I dreamt I wandered Columbus until I came upon a comics museum — NOT the Billy Ireland — and marveled at artwork which never existed IRL. Sep 30

I dreamt I was 30 Rock‘s Tina Fey, inherited $63,000, and when I heard my brother needed money, sent him $200, and felt generous about it. Sep 30

I dreamt @IreneVartanoff and I arrived home after a trip and got into a weird argument about ukuleles, details of which I don’t remember. Sep 30

I dreamt that while I was eating at @NextRestaurant, F. Brett Cox snuck in and sat down at my table, and I was afraid he’d be tossed out. Sep 30

I dreamt I went to a Taylor Swift concert with my son and was called to the stage to dance. I apologized in advance for his embarrassment. Sep 29

I dreamt I walked off with a tureen of pate from a restaurant’s refrigerator, and only after eating it ALL did I think — why did I do that? Sep 29

I dreamt I was in the hospital with a kid Human Torch, and he used his superpowers to fuse our door shut for a reason I no longer remember. Sep 29

I dreamt I was on set as Arnold Schwarzenegger and Henry Winkler filmed a movie, creating many bloopers as props continually failed them. Sep 28

I dreamt I was attending a support group of some kind when in walked fully armored Xena. Woke before learning what her problem was, though. Sep 28

I dreamt the government wanted me to register my telepathic powers, so I told them to leave me alone, that I’d make them forget I existed. Sep 28 (more…)

You’d think that lunch at The Fat Duck and dinner at Dinner would be enough Heston Blumenthal for one trip to London … but you would be wrong.

Because as we headed for home, we had time for a final Heston Blumenthal meal—in Terminal 2 at Heathrow.

I hate what you’re forced to put up with in airports. Bad Chinese food. Pizza that’s pizza in name only. BBQ that makes me cry … but in the wrong way.

So when I heard back in June that Blumenthal had opened The Perfectionists’ Café at Heathrow, with a wood-fired oven and liquid nitrogen ice cream, I knew that’s where we had to have our last meal in London. (more…)

While pulling together the files for an upcoming paperback edition of These Words Are Haunted, which is currently only available as an extremely expensive hardcover, it occurred to me I’ve written enough stories which are in one way or another homages that I could assemble a collection of them.

Here are the stories and the related authors.

Raymond Carver: “What We Still Talk About”

Charles L. Grant: “I Wish I Knew Where I Was Going”

Edgar Allan Poe: “The Trembling Living Wire”

Saki: “A Most Extraordinary Man”

William Shakespeare: “A Plague on Both Your Houses”

John Steinbeck: “Tell Me Like You Done Before”

Thornton Wilder: “Live People Don’t Understand”

In addition to those, there’s also a Shel Silverstein-inspired piece which should be out sometime soon, and could also be included.

As I think about the concept, some questions are—

Do I include “My Life is Good,” starring Randy Newman? Should a songwriter count? I think yes, but I’m not sure whether readers would agree.

How about “Goobers,” for which the inspiration wasn’t an individual author, but EC Comics as a whole? And “Fifth Dimension,” which was a tribute to Rod Serling? (As for “Stealing Alice,” I probably wouldn’t include it, even though the Alice of the title is Alice in Wonderland, because it was written so early in my career that I have no interest in seeing it in print again.)

Separate from the content questions, there’s also—do I seek a small-press publisher for this? Or put it out on my own as an ebook?

Hmmm …

Lots to think about. If you have any thoughts, please let me know.

Here it is, nearly October, and I’m about to recap a meal I had in the middle of August. Normally I’d let it go, but not when we’re talking about Dinner by Heston Blumenthal, currently ranked as the #5 restaurant in the world. We had lunch at Blumenthal’s other restaurant, The Fat Duck—currently #47 on that same list—a few days before this year’s London Worldcon, and this dinner at Dinner a few days after meant that we bookmarking our trip with Blumenthal.

The way the two restaurants differ is that the Fat Duck is like Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory, filled with tricks and over-the-top presentations, such as a mock turtle soup prepared by dissolving a gold watch in front of you, or a seafood course eaten to beach sounds piped in from an iPod-stuffed shell. But though Dinner also displays culinary magic, it’s instead in the way it serves homages to dishes throughout history, everything from Frumenty (circa 1390) to Tipsy Cake (circa 1810).

Here was my view from the six-person Chef’s Table, which I shared with Graham Sleight, David Shaw, and Diane Martin on my right, and Shana Worthen and my wife on my left.

Visible to my left through a long narrow window was the cold room in which dishes such as the famous meat fruit were prepared. These—not ours—were in the kitchen awaiting final plating as we took our seats. A series of them being brought to others tantalized us, for we wouldn’t receive ours until three dishes in. (more…)

Way back in 2008, I shared with you some Scarecrow artwork which had never been seen in U.S., since it had been created specifically for Marvel’s mid-70s’ British reprint books. But it turns out there was another piece I didn’t know about. Or rather, according to the artist, I’d known about it but had forgotten.

Andrew John Standish uploaded this post to Facebook yesterday, created by penciller Howard Bender and inker Duffy Vohland.

This originally appeared in Super Spider-Man and the Titans #216 (cover-dated March 30, 1977). As to why I have no memory of this, I imagine it’s because there was no actual Scarecrow story published in that issue, only the poster, so I never received a contributor copy.

Howard was surprised I didn’t remember it, though, because he tells me that he and Duffy showed it to me before it was published.

To which I say—hey, that was 37 years ago!

Thanks for digging this up, Andrew!

Capclave begins two weeks from today, and a preliminary draft of the program has just been released. If you can spare time from following around the three Guests of Honor—Paolo Bacigalupi, Holly Black, and Genevieve Valentine—and would rather see me pontificate, here’s where you’ll tentatively be able to find me—

The League of Substitute Heroes and the Inferior Five
Friday, October 10, 4:00 p.m.
While many people are familiar with Wonder Woman, Superman, Batman, Spiderman, Iron Man, the X-Men, and the Justice League; Marvel and DC have many other second and third tier superheroes. When DC started the Vertigo line, they had some success with reviving more obscure characters in a newer, darker, often antiheroic persona. This brought them both success (Sandman) and failure (Kid Eternity anyone?). Which more obscure and or silly DC and Marvel superheroes would you like to see revived and revamped? For instance, the Head of Programming believes it’s time for a revival of ‘mazing man, Queen’s own superhero.
with Robert Greenberger, L. Jagi Lamplighter, James Maxey, and Jay Smith

Ending Stories – Bang or Whimper?
Friday, October 10, 9:00 pm
So many short stories start out well but end abruptly or just trail off, leaving the reader to wonder, what’s the point. Why does this happen and how can writers avoid this fate? How do you determine your endings? Is a twist ending a cheat?
with Pamela K. Kinney, Dina Leacock, Alex Shvartsman, Ian Randal Strock, and Allen Wold

Why Do We Like Being Scared?
Friday, October 10, 11:00 pm
Fear probably developed as a survival mechanism. We fear things that might hurt us. Yet many read horror, go to slasher films, ride roller coasters, and climb cliffs. Why? What does this say about us and our psyches?
with Holly Black, Annette Klause, Dina Leacock, and Jon Skovron

Mass Signing
Saturday, October 11, 7:30 pm

Reading
Sunday, October 12, 1:30 pm
At which I’ll try to read my most recently sold story without crying …

Hope to see you there!

And be warned that at some point during the convention, there will be durian.

If you picked up today’s Washington Post this morning and turned to the Style section, you’d have seen a familiar name—mine!

Ron Charles, editor of the Post’s Book World, had asked me to review Ray Bradbury Unbound, the second installment in Jonathan R. Eller’s projected three-volume biography. (The first volume, Becoming Ray Bradbury, was reviewed by Michael Dirda.)

The book was not all what I expected, for it was filled with heartbreak and disappointment, and sprinkled with such phrases as “missed opportunities,” “creative dead ends,” “never materialized,” “another deeply disappointing experience,” and “marked an ultimately irreversible decline.” Perhaps a reviewer who’s not also a writer struggling to get stories written in the face of life’s endless distractions would have reacted differently.

You can read my review online at the Washington Post here. And if you do track down Eller’s book—which is certainly worth doing—please let me know how you felt about this second stage in Bradbury’s career.

How busy have I been for the past month? So busy I didn’t share here about my magnificent Fat Duck meal of August 13 until Friday, and I hadn’t even uploaded my Loncon3 photos to Flickr until just a short while ago.

You can check out the whole Loncon3 album here.

Don’t worry … I’ve culled out all the foodie pics and will be sharing those separately.

Now on to Spokane!

I’ve often told you that I’m never quite sure these days whether the highlight of the many conventions I attend is the conventions themselves or the destination restaurants I arrange to visit at the same time. Such was the case with Loncon3, the 72nd World Science Fiction Convention. (Though it was only my personal 27th … and the 40th anniversary of my first, at that!)

Which means I’d arranged to visit The Fat Duck before Loncon3 was to begin. Sadly, United Airlines lost my luggage for two days, which meant that I was unable to wear my purple boating blazer as planned, and was stuck with the casual jacket and jeans I’d worn over on the flight. This caused a bit of anxiety at first, because surely one of the best restaurants in the world deserved a bit of dressing up, but a quick read of The Fat Duck FAQ calmed me down, as it reads:

We do not have a dress code policy at the restaurant – please come along however you feel comfortable.

And so, after picking up a new shirt, socks and underwear (TMI, I know) at a men’s shop near our hotel, Irene and I met David Shaw, Diane Martin, their son, and Graham Sleight at Paddington Station for a train to Maidenhead, followed by a short cab ride to the village of Bray.

We arrived slightly early for our 1:30 lunch, and so wandered the picturesque village for a bit until we could bear to wait no longer. (more…)

My iPhone 5 battery has been limping along, requiring constant recharging to get me through the day, but since I’m happy with the phone and not eager to drop big bucks on the new iPhone 6, I figured I’d check to see how much it would cost to swap in a new battery. And surprise, surprise, Apple turns out to have a battery replacement program.

Because:

Apple has determined that a very small percentage of iPhone 5 devices may suddenly experience shorter battery life or need to be charged more frequently. The affected iPhone 5 devices were sold between September 2012 and January 2013 and fall within a limited serial number range.

If your iPhone 5 is experiencing these symptoms and meets the eligibility requirements noted below, Apple will replace your iPhone 5 battery, free of charge.

And also surprise, surprise, plugging in my iPhone’s serial number shows that I’m eligible. So I made an appointment at the Genius Bar, and am hoping the process won’t be a long one.

Since the site gives no indication of how much time this will take, I went to Google and started typing, “How long does it take … ”

But before I could complete the phrase, autocomplete filled in the five most popular things online searchers are wondering about. And they’re not at all what I would I have thought.

So how long does it take to get to Mars anyway?