My zombie play “A Plague on Both Your Houses“—think Night of the Living Dead crossed with Romeo and Juliet—has never been performed, save for a star-studded reading during the 1998 Stoker Awards weekend. And by performed, I simply mean that since the work was on the final ballot that year, and all nominees got a chance to read a chunk of their work, and my play wouldn’t have been understood if multiple characters had been read in my voice alone, I dragooned a bunch of my friends on stage to read along with me.

Had you been there, you’d have seen Michael Marano, David Honigsberg, Ed Bryant, Nina Kirki Hoffman, Gordon van Gelder, and others (including me!) as zombies. Well, some of us anyway. Some were the last surviving humans on Manhattan Island in a post-apocalyptic future. But I’ve always wanted something more.

And while discussing the piece at Readercon last month—because people have been reading and talking about it again due to its inclusion in my all-zombie collection What Will Come After—I’ve decided to finally make that something more happen.

Here’s where you come in. I’m announcing the creation of the Blow the Top of Scott Edelman’s Head Off Really Cool Zombie Filmmaking Competition to encourage the creation of short videos based on sections of the play, with the winner (as judged by me) receiving $200 and my undying awe. (Zombie awe should always be undying, shouldn’t it?)

Here are the rules: (more…)

I wrote “These Words Are Haunted” in 1983, and by the time I sent it off to Fantasy Tales in 1987, it had already been rejected 13 times.

Luckily, the story was eventually accepted by Weirdbook and was published in its Spring 1992 issue. I loved that title so much I also used it as the title of my first collection.

Gee, I wonder whatever happened to that Steve Jones guy?

It’s that time again, when I gather together the previous month’s dream tweets and let them rub up against each other to see how surreal they look when that happens.

In July, I dreamt of Pete Seeger, Cee Lo Green, Joe Pesci, Sol Brodsky, James Patrick Kelly … and maybe even you. Let’s see, shall we?

July 2011

I lost one of my dreams due to illegible handwriting. I have no idea what “went under [illegible] several [illegible] not get away” means. 31 July

I dreamt I was about to interview Sarah Palin, only my office door was locked, and I couldn’t get in with her to retrieve my recorder. 31 July

I dreamt I sat in a chair next to my father, who was in bed watching bullfighting and episodes of I Love Lucy on TV and getting paid for it. 31 July

I dreamt I wandered at Clarion with James Patrick Kelly, engaged in an intense debate over which local restaurant served the best pancakes. 31 July

I dreamt I was the Matt Smith Doctor Who, shouting for a subway platform to be evacuated while demanding someone bring me an arc welder. 31 July

I dreamt I was still editing SF Age and interviewing a teenager to be my assistant. He surprised me by knowing secrets about Martin Goodman. 30 July

I dreamt I was slowly and carefully counting out and eating gummi bears one by one, but I lost count when I had to rescue a runaway train. 29 July

I dreamt I slid the paper sleeves containing lyrics off my LPs and stapled them together to research a singer … but I can’t remember who. 28 July

I dreamt I saw an old timey steam engine far in the distance which was suddenly here pulling out, and I rushed to say farewell to friends. 27 July

I dreamt I learned what Chris Meloni’s been up to since quitting L&O: SVU. I ordered a corned beef sandwich at a deli and he was my waiter! 26 July (more…)

I’ve always prided myself on knowing in my bones that it’s Spider-Man (with a hyphen) and Superman (without), and I recently gave somebody I know a smackdown for leaving out that all-important hyphen. But I see now that even Marvel itself got mixed up at first, as this page from Amazing Fantasy #15 (Spidey’s debut, remember?) proves.

The third paragraph refers to the web-slinger not just as “Spiderman,” but as “The Spiderman”—something that as a former Marvel Comics proofreader makes my skin crawl!

I’m pretty sure this wasn’t the last time Marvel messed up … but at least now I understand why others might get it wrong, too.

I’d love to tell you details about The Asymptotical World, but I have no memory of the magazine at all … other than that I sent its editor/publisher Michael Gerardi half a dozen stories during the mid-’80s, selling him none of them.

Which means you won’t be learning anything today other than what I hope you’re learning with each installment in this series—to take some small comfort in the fact you’re still around … while these magazines that may have rejected you aren’t.

I’ve been attending Readercon since it began in 1987. I haven’t missed one yet. It’s my favorite convention weekend of the year, the place where I hang with my tribe and recharge my creative batteries.

I’ve been attending the San Diego Comic-Con since 2007. It’s the most important pop culture gathering of the year, and since I’m the editor of Blastr, there’s no way I can miss it. It’s a must-see event.

During most Julys, Readercon has been two weeks prior to Comic-Con. Last month, it was one week before Comic-Con. In 2012 … well … see for yourself, via screen grabs from the two cons’ sites.

To say that I’m heartbroken is an understatement. But I don’t see any way around it. I’ve got to cover Comic-Con. My unbroken string of Readercons … has come to an end.

If I’m wearing black the next time you see me, it won’t be because I’m channeling Neil Gaiman. It’ll be because I’m in mourning.

Pelmanism? What’s Pelmanism? Evidently, a big deal … once upon a time.

The UK paperback edition of Agatha Christie’s One, Two, Buckle My Shoe contained the following advertisement on page 8, tucked between the poem referenced in the title and the first page of novel text. (I’m sorry I couldn’t provide a clear scan of this, but I hesitate to press the inside of a ’50s paperback flat against a scanner, and so instead snapped as clear a pic as I could.)

I’m chagrined to admit that until I encountered this ad, I’d never heard of Pelmanism, which promised here to cure me of Depression, Forgetfulness, Weakness of Will, Worry, Indecision, Mind-Wandering, Procrastination, Inferiority Feelings, and Lack of Confidence.

Apparently, this system of training was created in the 1890s, was studied by millions, including writer H. Rider Haggard and Boy Scouts founder Sir Robert Baden-Powell, and has since been mostly forgotten … though according to one of the descendants of its creator, you can find the full 15-lesson course for free online.

Is there anything to it? Will Pelmanism truly “clear [my] mind of its difficulties and weaknesses”? I have no idea. (And the word “clear” in relation to my mind when it comes to self-help movements like these kind of scares me.) I’m just surprised that something like this, once so popular, could have for the most part vanished.

And here I thought I knew everything.

Am I the only one who’s never heard of Pelmanism?

One lesson about the writing life I had to learn was that just because you’ve sold a story to a magazine, you haven’t left its rejection slips behind you. One example was The Twilight Zone.

I’d published “Fifth Dimension” in its April 1983 issue, back when Ted Klein was the editor, but when I sent “The Man Who Lost His Music”—originally written as a Clarion student in 1979—to then-editor Tappan King in 1987, here’s what I got back in the mail.

For what it’s worth, that judgement on “The Man Who Lost His Music” appears to have been correct. None of the 27 editors to whom it had been submitted wanted it, and it has gone mercifully unpublished.

It hasn’t been submitted in more than 20 years, and if I’m lucky, the manuscript no even longer exists.

Renovation—the 69th World Science Fiction Convention—is just around the corner. Where will you be able to find me during the con? (Well, where will you be able to find me officially?)

Here—!

Will Eisner: Pioneering Comics Genius
Thursday, August 18, 12:00 p.m.-1:00 p.m.
Will Eisner had a very long career in comics. Best known for The Spirit, he wrote some early graphic novels, such as A Contract with God.
I moderate Tom Galloway and Stu Shiffman

The Science Fiction and Fanasy Canon within Comics
Thursday, August 18, 4:00 p.m.-5:00 p.m.
What are the essential science fiction and fantasy comics?
with Tom Galloway, David Malki, and Andrew Wheeler

Stroll With The Stars
Friday, August 19, 9:00 a.m.-10:00 a.m.
A gentle, friendly 1-mile stroll with some of your favorite Authors, Artists & Editors.
with Stu Segal, Bill Willingham, Beth Meacham, Karen Anderson, Toni Weisskopf, Gay Haldeman, and Joe Haldeman

Autographs
Friday, August 19, 12:00 p.m.-1:00 p.m.
with Katy Stauber , Ian Tregillis, Eileen Gunn, Michael Capobianco, A. C. Crispin, Dean Wesley Smith, and Kristine Kathryn Rusch

KaffeeKlatsch
Friday, August 19, 5:00 p.m.-6:00 p.m.
with Eileen Gunn, Adam-Troy Castro, and Tim Pratt

Fantasy and Horror in the New Century
What to look for and where to find it on the darker side of literature.
Saturday, August 20, 11:00 a.m.-12:00 p.m.
I moderate John Joseph Adams, Susan T. Casper, Ellen Datlow, and Nick Mamatas

Giving and Receiving Critiques
Many writers participate in writers workshops, but it can be difficult, especially for new writers, to give critiques helpfully and receive critiques gracefully. Experienced workshoppers discuss techniques for critiques.
Saturday, August 20, 12:00 p.m.-1:00 p.m.
I moderate Margaret McGaffey Fisk, Daniel Abraham, Sheila Finch, and Tim Pratt

Crisis Fatigue: The Pros and Cons of Cross-Book Universe-Changing Comic Epics
Almost every year, it seems, the comics world has a major multi-book crisis/civil war/semi-reboot. Is it overused?
Saturday, August 20, 5:00 p.m.-6:00 p.m.
I moderate Tom Galloway, Lenny Bailes, and Brenda W. Clough

Reading
Sunday, August 21 12:30 p.m.- 1:00 p.m.

I look forward to seeing you there!

When Eric Rosenfield asked me to take part in the Wold Newton Reading Extravaganza at Readercon, in which I was invited to take the stage for four minutes while accompanied by appropriate music from Brian Francis Slattery and his band, my immediate thought wasn’t to read any of my own writing.

No, what popped into my head was Mark Twain’s “The War Prayer,” which he refrained from publishing during his lifetime, and which I’d last read aloud during high school to protest the Vietnam War. It was short, it allowed for histrionics … plus Twain was this year’s Readercon Memorial Guest of Honor.

The other brave souls who took part in what I hope will now be an annual Readercon event were Myke Cole, Jeffrey Ford, Theodora Goss, John Kessel, and Matthew Cheney. The whole thing is well worth half an hour of your time, but if you only have a few minutes, you can see my abridged version of “The War Prayer” from 10:38 to 15:17.

You’ll note I introduced my reading by saying I was about to present an “abridged” version of that famous story. That’s because even though the tale is short, it would still have taken more than six minutes to read, and I didn’t want to get gonged off the stage before I reached the moral.

I hope Twain will forgive me!