I remembered fewer dreams than usual during September, thanks to my lengthy trip to Chicago for Worldcon and many culinary adventures. Dreams tend to fade before I can scribble them down when I’m exhausted and in a strange bed, which always gives me a sense of loss, because I enjoy my dreams, revel in them, really, and hate to forget even one.

But what remained was still choice, and as always, the dreams benefit from being collected and allowed to rub up against each other this way. September’s guest stars included David Boreanaz, George R. R. Martin, Alanis Morissette, Tom Hanks, Harlan Ellison, E. Nelson Bridwell, and many others.

SEPTEMBER 2012

I dreamt I was in The Colbert Report live audience, and when he introduced Alanis Morissette, the camera instead cut to him dressed as her. 30 Sep

I dreamt I was on a train to Machu Picchu, and when I looked up from my iPad, I saw Tom Hanks and Will Sasso (as Bill Clinton) were there. 30 Sep

I dreamt @scalzi got mad at me because while visiting him, I destroyed my first drafts. But more because in doing so, I flooded his house. 29 Sep

I dreamt three old guys drove to our door to deliver a kingsized mattress, only I looked at them and thought … no way they can lift it. 28 Sep

I dreamt my wife was cradling my son, suddenly a baby once again, and then passed him to me, and I rocked him. Oddly, he could still speak. 28 Sep

I dreamt I talked to my grandmother about my memories of my great-grandmother (even though grandma is dead, and I never met great-grandma). 28 Sep

I dreamt my boss @CraigEngler drove up, and I served him most of a chocolate cake with my bare hands, saving one slice for @IreneVartanoff. 26 Sep

I dreamt I worked as a baker at my friends’ cafe, and decided I was going to attempt to convince them to sell me part of the business. 25 Sep

I dreamt I was on a pitch black cruise ship searching for a light switch, as I was scheduled to teach a juggling workshop and needed to see. 25 Sep

I dreamt I came up out of the NYC subway to discover fanciful architecture that never really existed — stone towers, ornate gardens, etc. 24 Sep (more…)

As usual, whenever a new month begins, I gather together all of the dreams I tweeted the previous month to see whether they gain anything by rubbing up against one another. During August, I dreamt of Cornel West, Jaclyn Smith, Nelson Van Alden, Cory Doctorow, Boyz II Men and more.

August 2012

I dreamt I sat with ‪@MaryRobinette at a Star Wars event, eating ‪@Alinea‘s Lamb 86, watching James Lipton interview Ralph McQuarrie. 30 Aug

I dreamt Harlan Ellison had written a controversial story starring Sammy Davis, Jr. which we couldn’t stop arguing about during ‪#Chicon7. 29 Aug

I dreamt I was a new SNL cast member, performing in my second show, having a ball watching the band from backstage. (I don’t remember who.) 29 Aug

I dreamt I sent President Obama a postcard, and though I have no memory of what I wrote, I remember very meticulously applying the stamp. 27 Aug

I dreamt I rode shotgun in a car, trapped listening to an extremely unfunny comedian sitting between me and the driver, testing out his act. 27 Aug

I dreamt my dad was Terry Crews in his persona from the Chris Rock Show and I disappointed him by not understanding a chore he tried to describe. 27 Aug

I dreamt I was in some unidentified foreign country buying pastries to eat aboard a train, and when I turned around — my bags were gone! 27 Aug

I dreamt I escaped (from who knows what) on a riverboat, pursued (who knows why) by a woman who turned herself into a mouse to sneak aboard. 27 Aug

I dreamt a group of friends and I watched ALL of Lost, and as the final credits rolled, we stood, held hands, and sang. I don’t recall what. 26 Aug

I dreamt that as I walked crowded city streets, Darrell Schweitzer zoomed by on a Segway, handing out flyers for a new Kickstarter project. 26 Aug (more…)

One month ends, and another begins, so let’s see what treats my subconscious left me in July, shall we? I was visited by Andre the Giant, John Kessel, Kevin Sorbo, David Hartwell, Harlan Ellison, Snookie, and more.

July 2012 Dreams

I dreamt I arrived late to acting class, and my partner, who wasn’t happy, had to explain the teacher’s instructions about our coming scene. 30 Jul

I dreamt I was in a room with two identical incarnations of my mother. I tried and failed to figure out which needed to go to the hospital. 30 Jul

I dreamt I was on staff at Marvel Comics discussing Cosmic Cube variations — Cosmic Cone, anyone? — with Danny Fingeroth. 30 Jul

I dreamt that as I walked a city street, David Hartwell approached, accompanied by Andre the Giant. I never learned why they were together. 30 Jul

I dreamt I arrived at a play to find the OTHER Scott Edelman’s name already on a volunteer sign-up, which I feared would lead to confusion. 30 Jul

I dreamt that as Stephen Colbert ran through a blooming lotus garden, I jogged a path alongside it, until we met at garden’s end. 30 Jul

I dreamt that as a I wandered a city, large dogs would stop and attempt to deliver a message. But sadly, I could not decipher their speech. 29 Jul

I dreamt I was being hunted by those towering X-Men Sentinels. No idea why they were after me — I wasn’t a mutant — but I hid anyway. 29 Jul

I dreamt I jogged through a city, and after several blocks, realized — Hey! I’ve never been able to run this well before! So I woke up. 28 Jul

I dreamt that at the end of a bad day, I remembered that though I cancelled that morning’s trip, I never called the airline about my flight. 28 Jul (more…)

Another month gone by, another batch of dreams, these with guest stars such as Anthony Bourdain, Public Enemy, Steve Martin, Julie Schwartz, Harry Morgan, Tommy Tune and more. Here’s what I tweeted last month, perhaps delivering some sort of rough poetry because of their proximity to each other.

JUNE 2012

I dreamt Dan Perez regaled me with wild tales of his UK road trips, especially the troubles he got into in small villages not on any map. 29 Jun

I dreamt I attended my first George Formby Society convention, but there was a Russian there who would only talk, talk, talk about trains. 28 Jun

I dreamt I drove through Denver, numbers popping up on objects as though I was in a video game. They vanished to musical notes as I passed. 28 Jun

I dreamt I visited a fortune teller and asked, “Will I be tried for murder?” But I had no memory of killing, so my own question confused me. 27 Jun

I dreamt I wandered Texas with friends in search of BBQ, but wherever we stopped — no BBQ! Just lots and lots of old people line dancing. 27 Jun

I dreamt I played catch with Anthony Bourdain and his kid using a huge jawbreaker. Later, I decided to bake them my grandma’s mandel bread. 27 Jun

I dreamt I was chased through a forest by tiny flying robots. But before I either was caught or got clean away, I woke. So — no ending! 26 Jun

I dreamt I owned a trumpet which, when blown, opened a gateway to another dimension. I peered across, but woke before stepping through. 26 Jun

I dreamt I helped the Stark kids escape, which involved pushing an evil dwarf off a cliff, then pushing a great stone on top of him. 26 Jun

I dreamt an old HS friend went into an Apple store while I waited out front, and never came out. Eventually, I looked inside. He was gone. 25 Jun (more…)

A new month begins, and so I’ve rounded up last month’s dream tweets, which are fewer than usual, what with the exhaustion from two conventions plus our trip to Machu Picchu affecting my sleep patterns. But still, George R.R. Martin, Dick Giordano, Moms Mabley and others—maybe even you—visited me as I slept. And somehow I find it poetic to see what happens when those mind movies are placed side by side like this …

MAY 2012

I dreamt my BSG script was rejected because Edward James Olmos hadn’t liked it. I was sad, but oddly happy, because that meant he’d read it. 31 May

I dreamt Bill Murray and I chased a burglar down several flights of stairs. At the bottom, he pulled out a gun, and chased us back up again. 30 May

I dreamt Nebula Awards attendees started to gather in a hotel ballroom. Andy Duncan was in a tux, Carl Gnam asked for my Karloff impression. 29 May

I dreamt I met a foodie at the airport and we swapped stories of the weirdest stuff we’d ever eaten as Irene looked on in total disgust. 29 May

I dreamt I was hired to run DC Comics, taking over from Dick Giordano. I discovered he left me a note, telling me to bring back Will Elder. 28 May

Only fragments of last night’s dreams remain: Geoff Ryman, a jar of pickles, cops tasering, a birthday cake. Wonder what the dreams were about? 27 May

I dreamt I was in Brooklyn, which turned into a photo, and reading the caption revealed it was 1952. Impossible! I saw WTC in the distance. 26 May

I dreamt I was a teen planning an escape with friends from a Terra Nova-style compound to live in the wild, waiting for our moment to act. 26 May

I dreamt I biked in the snow through a small town, spotted a costume shop and a comic book store, couldn’t decide which to visit first. 25 May

I dreamt I went to a midnight movie with Adam-Troy Castro that had Muppets in it for no reason. It was about the recession—with puppets! 25 May (more…)

It’s that time again, though slightly delayed by our Machu Picchu trip. Let’s see what poetry last month’s dreams might achieve when my daily tweets are gathered together in one place.

April’s night-time guest stars included Woody Allen, Paul Witcover, Stubby Kaye, Nick Nolte, Tom Disch, Gene Wolfe, and … well, you’ll see.

APRIL 2012

I dreamt I was on a bus heading toward Machu Picchu. Oddly, the mountains were as snowy as Everest. Good thing I’ll find out for real soon! 28 Apr

I dreamt an actor took ill in a Shakespearean play my friend Allan was directing, and I had to suddenly fill in. Also subbing — Janis Ian. 27 Apr

I dreamt I woke from a nap in my 1976-1982 Brooklyn apt., sunlight streaming through the windows. But when was it? I reached for my iPad! 26 Apr

I dreamt @Annaleen and I were walking across the Golden Gate Bridge on the way to our jobs as copywriters at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce. 26 Apr

I dreamt I wandered Avenue P with Irene, pointing out all that changed since I was a kid. But then I blinked, and everything was as it was. 25 Apr

I dreamt I searched for someone in a hospital along with @EllenDatlow. Don’t remember who we were looking for but we never found him or her. 25 Apr

I dreamt I delivered a satchel filled with cash, and once I made the handover, was accused of stealing one of the $10,000 bundles. I hadn’t. 24 Apr

I dreamt old friend Kate Stone handed me a file to underwrite a mortgage application, and I thought — do I still remember how to do that? 24 Apr

I dreamt I followed deer tracks along the soggy bottom of a riverbed … until the water rose and the tracks could no longer be seen. 24 Apr

I dreamt I was an old black man interviewing black kids while Woody Allen watched through one-way glass deciding which to cast in new movie. 24 Apr (more…)

Another month is over, which means it’s time to gather all of the previous month’s dreams and see whether anything is gained by letting them rub up against each other. March’s guest stars included James Earl Jones, George R. R. Martin, Jorge Garcia, Harlan Ellison, Jesse Jackson … and maybe you.

MARCH 2012

I dreamt I sat with @ColleenLindsay (and forgotten others) on a large sectional couch made of pancakes, discussing the future of publishing. 31 Mar

I dreamt I was in a vast NYC lobby when there were shouts about a woman being kidnapped. I tackled and pinned the guy until police arrived. 28 Mar

I dreamt I worked at Newsweek, and the editors grew angry with me when I appeared on the cover wearing a hoodie. Not sure what it all meant. 28 Mar

I dreamt I tried unsuccessfully to calm my (nonexistent in real life) teen daughter, upset I’d read some of her stories without permission. 27 Mar

I dreamt I fried a veal chop in oil while Woody Harrelson critiqued my every move, telling me I wasn’t showing enough respect for the veal. 26 Mar

I dreamt of bunch of Amish guys had cleared the land across the way and were constructing a subdivision … which meant it was time to move. 25 Mar

I dreamt the world went all post-apocalyptic. As I made a run for it, I grabbed my uke, which seems odd, since I’ve only had it four months. 24 Mar

I dreamt that after using a steampunk samurai sword to dispatch assassins by my mailbox, then came the hard part — disposing of the bodies. 24 Mar

Some of last night’s dreams are but fragments: dropping an expensive camera in a rushing river (but where and why?); The Rock (doing what?) 23 Mar

I dreamt I was with Jorge Garcia as he had his first meal at a rib joint he’d just invested in. (Though maybe I _was_ Jorge Garcia. Unsure.) 23 Mar (more…)

February is dead and buried, so it’s time to gather up that month’s dreams and see whether anything useful comes out of letting them rub up against each other.

My dreamworld visitors included Ray Bradbury, Katee Sackhoff, Chip Delany, Orson Welles, and many other names you might recognize.

And for those who’ve asked, as they’ve seen these dreams flit by over on Twitter, whether I really dream this much … yes, yes I do. I always have, and I hope I always will.

FEBRUARY 2012

I dreamt I arrived at my Jeep with a platter of pastries for Marie Severin to find two guys attempting to break in. So I chased them off. 29 Feb

I dreamt David Kyle handed over to me film canisters given to him by Fred Pohl, which turned out to be experimental movies by Chip Delany. 28 Feb

I dreamt I clumsily navigated crowded dealers room aisles while lugging half a dozen stuffed shopping bags in each hand. It wasn’t pretty. 28 Feb

I dreamt that to escape an island on which I’d shipwrecked, I crawled through caverns in total darkness for days to retrieve a special moss. 28 Feb

I dreamt Irene drove up to the house in a brand new silver Cadillac, causing me to think — Wow, she went ahead and bought a car without me? 25 Feb

I dreamt I was Stephen Colbert running alongside a dwarf in an Uncle Sam suit. My subconscious apologizes to little people everywhere. 25 Feb

I dreamt that, having received an email from Walter Cronkite in the morning and Ray Bradbury in the afternoon, I was feeling VERY pleased. 25 Feb

I dreamt I was The Mentalist‘s Patrick Jane, hosting a seance to reveal a killer. As part of my ploy, the room suddenly filled with flames. 25 Feb

I dreamt my ukulele teacher was also a marriage counselor, and because he double booked, my lesson took place while a couple complained. 24 Feb

I dreamt I hung out with Brooklyn pals, touring the interiors of those beautiful old timey movie palaces which no longer exist in real life. 23 Feb (more…)

Now that January is over, it’s time (as usual) to assemble my dream tweets and see whether they gain any meaning from rubbing up against each other in one spot. My guest stars this month included Willard Scott, the parents from The Wonder Years, Woody Allen, John Kessel, Rick Perry, Woozy Winks, Keanu Reeves, and maybe you.

Let’s see, shall we?

JANUARY 2011

I dreamt I was at Shopsins and saw Mark Evanier at the next table, who wanted to know if I was was in town to see the restored Godfather 31 Jan

I dreamt I headed home from an office, and when I got in the elevator, realized, “Hey! I’m barefoot!” So I ran back to my desk for my shoes. 31 Jan

I dreamt I slipped a computer box over my hand and my arm transformed into Thor’s hammer, which I pounded while declaring, “I’m not worthy!” 30 Jan

I dreamt the bus I rode on was taken hostage, which happened so often it came equipped with board games to play until ransom could be paid. 30 Jan

I dreamt I wandered city streets at 2:00 a.m. looking for a decent restaurant, and couldn’t get Yelp to work. Tech always fails me in dream. 30 Jan

I dreamt two friends returned from a midnight visit to Mexico scraped up and with torn clothing, and as they cleaned up, I was very jealous. 30 Jan

I dreamt that as I explained to Rick Perry where his campaign went wrong, he draped an arm on my shoulders and lectured me condescendingly. 29 Jan

I dreamt that after a hoop-skirted woman had to pull a gun on an evil mining boss, I was called in as a union organizer to shake things up. 29 Jan

I dreamt I was visiting friends in China when my brother tried to videochat with me via Google+, but as in all my dreams, technology failed. 29 Jan

I dreamt that as I interviewed Woody Allen at his parents’ apartment, I suddenly realized … Gee, it might be a good idea to record this. 28 Jan (more…)

I usually tweet my dreams, but I was visited by two last night which could not be contained in 140 characters.

First …

I dreamt I was in prison, presumably on some sort of cultural or educational visit, because when alarms went off and the place went into lockdown, I was hustled into a small library-like room, and once I got there I found the same had been done with Neil Gaiman and a woman I didn’t recognize.

As the three of us waited for the emergency to be declared over, a gate popped open, and I knew that wasn’t a good thing, because it would allow the rioting prisoners to reach us. But before that could happen, we were rescued by The Question.

After saving us, I showed him that I had a souvenir pen with his name on it in my jacket pocket. I told him I was a big fan of his. He said he was a fan on mine, too, and liked my zombie stories. I woke as we discussed the aftermath of what had occurred.

Then … (more…)