One month ends, and another begins, so let’s see what treats my subconscious left me in July, shall we? I was visited by Andre the Giant, John Kessel, Kevin Sorbo, David Hartwell, Harlan Ellison, Snookie, and more.

July 2012 Dreams

I dreamt I arrived late to acting class, and my partner, who wasn’t happy, had to explain the teacher’s instructions about our coming scene. 30 Jul

I dreamt I was in a room with two identical incarnations of my mother. I tried and failed to figure out which needed to go to the hospital. 30 Jul

I dreamt I was on staff at Marvel Comics discussing Cosmic Cube variations — Cosmic Cone, anyone? — with Danny Fingeroth. 30 Jul

I dreamt that as I walked a city street, David Hartwell approached, accompanied by Andre the Giant. I never learned why they were together. 30 Jul

I dreamt I arrived at a play to find the OTHER Scott Edelman’s name already on a volunteer sign-up, which I feared would lead to confusion. 30 Jul

I dreamt that as Stephen Colbert ran through a blooming lotus garden, I jogged a path alongside it, until we met at garden’s end. 30 Jul

I dreamt that as a I wandered a city, large dogs would stop and attempt to deliver a message. But sadly, I could not decipher their speech. 29 Jul

I dreamt I was being hunted by those towering X-Men Sentinels. No idea why they were after me — I wasn’t a mutant — but I hid anyway. 29 Jul

I dreamt I jogged through a city, and after several blocks, realized — Hey! I’ve never been able to run this well before! So I woke up. 28 Jul

I dreamt that at the end of a bad day, I remembered that though I cancelled that morning’s trip, I never called the airline about my flight. 28 Jul

I dreamt I’d received a copy of Sean Howe’s upcoming history of Marvel Comics and flipped through the insert looking at photos of friends. 27 Jul

I dreamt I wandered Walmart tugging a huge Mickey Mouse balloon-in-balloon balloon, Irene able to find me as it bobbed above the aisles. 27 Jul

How obsessed am I with getting tickets to @Alinea? I actually dreamt last night about an email exchange leading to me scoring what I needed. 26 Jul

I dreamt the zombie plague had a two-fold effect — some turned zombie, others only LOOKED like zombies, and were often mistakenly killed. 26 Jul

I dreamt that to escape zombies, I locked myself in a room, knowing it was only a temporary solution, and I’d have to leave to combat them. 26 Jul

I had two unconnected dreams about zombies last night about four hours apart. And the second of them could even be story fodder. Hmmm … 26 Jul

I dreamt Paul McCartney came by and fixed some closet shelves in need of repair. Who knew his hobby was carpentry? We didn’t speak of music. 25 Jul

I dreamt that as I returned from a trip to the Nebula Awards, I began packing for the following Nebulas Awards weekend, a whole year away. 25 Jul

I dreamt I was an old beggar in India trying to rescue two slum kids from a life of poverty by teaching them skills for a better life. 25 Jul

I dreamt I still edited a print magazine, and scurried around the office in search of slides so the art director could design the new issue. 24 Jul

I dreamt I was attacked by a huge white wolf, defended myself as best I could with lawn furniture and was ultimately rescued by Kevin Sorbo. 24 Jul

I dreamt I visited my mother in the hospital when she clutched her chest and screamed that I should get a nurse. I ran, but never found one. 23 Jul

I dreamt I was in some bizarre The Big C/Breaking Bad mashup with Jesse Pinkman and Andrea Jackson — but I don’t recall what we were doing! 23 Jul

I dreamt I videotaped myself very hilariously attempting to tell the entire convoluted plot of Lost, without refreshing my memory first. 23 Jul

I dreamt I pulled over at a highway rest stop, found a large, abandoned white dog, and resisted taking him home, even though he was cute. 23 Jul

I dreamt a “friend” tossed me a bag of white powder, then used it to frame me as the head of a drug ring and for the murder of an old lady. 22 Jul

I dreamt Irene and I moved into a huge circular apartment building Oprah built in the desert, only then starting to notice its many flaws. 22 Jul

I dreamt a producer was hectoring me to star in a John Carter movie, and I kept rebuffing him because I didn’t want to ruin my indie cred. 22 Jul

I dreamt I was in a restaurant kitchen as a chef cooked mounds of wings, dumping baskets on my table until they spilled over the sides. 22 Jul

I dreamt I looked through my wallet so I could buy a subway token, but all I could find were unfamiliar bills with gold thread. Where was I? 21 Jul

I dreamt a guy sitting in front of me for a financial services class started a fist fight, and we had to be separated. I don’t remember why. 21 Jul

My subconscious must _really_ be looking forward to dining at Next — I dreamt I’d just been served the Platonic ideal of pork belly there. 21 Jul

I dream I got trapped with Snookie at a Comic-Con party, and all I could think was “How the Hell did this happen and how do I get out of it? 20 Jul

Many dreams, but only dribs and drabs remembered — my boss, a ukulele, a play audition. No plots or context survived into consciousness. 18 Jul

I dreamt my son visited and brought along a girlfriend I didn’t know about, all this taking place in an apartment I lived in at his age. 15 Jul

I dreamt Jim Salicrup sang ’60s rock songs and wanted help ID-ing the original bands, but I was useless. I was reading comics back then! 15 Jul

Found a note next to my bed, reading — NAIL GUN VS HIT MAN — in my handwriting that I didn’t remember scribbling. ‘Twas a forgotten dream! 14 Jul

I dreamt I watched Susan Casper give a speech to a con crowd from inside a plastic bubble, like someone with no immunity. (Or a gerbil.) 13 Jul

I dreamt I watched two enormous Road Warrior-like trucks drag racing and setting the world on fire with flamethowers. Somehow, I survived. 13 Jul

I dreamt I was being hunted like something out of The Fugitive, and instead of getting away, I accidentally led my pursuer to my house. 12 Jul

I dreamt a former boss delicately suggested I go to rehab, and no matter how much I protested I don’t even drink, he wouldn’t believe me. 12 Jul

I dreamt I was part of a late-night comedy show with the cast members a blend of 30 Rock and SNL players, and I brought them homemade soda. 12 Jul

I dreamt I walked the cobblestones of a sleepy Italian village, surrounded by tiny, ancient women in black, upset I couldn’t find dim sum. 11 Jul

I dreamt Irene was a bouncer at a bar, but she fell asleep at the door, so I snuck past her, and looked forward to surprising her as I left. 11 Jul

I dreamt I introduced Gardner Dozois and John Kessel to Paul Levitz while standing in front of an apartment building along Ocean Parkway. 11 Jul

I dreamt I bit into a Reese’s peanut butter cup and was horrified to find it filled with — applesauce! I quickly spit it out and tossed it. 9 Jul

I dreamt I wandered Bensonhurst, came upon a celebration of the Russian revolution, thousands of uniformed soldiers standing at attention. 9 Jul

I dreamt I woke at night on an Antarctic cruiseship, thought, “I’m in Antarctica! Why am I wasting time onboard?” And tried to sneak ashore. 9 Jul

I dreamt Irene had a job working for an SF TV show, and told me someone was quitting, which I let slip before it was meant to go public. 8 Jul

I dreamt that after @tinytempest said she was moving in with a bunch of other writers, I bored her with a detailed history of Slan Shacks. 8 Jul

I dreamt my dog came near, begging to be petted. I stroked him, but knew it was a dream. I love animals, just not as things to be owned. 7 Jul

I dreamt I was @jay_lake‘s sidekick on a dinky public-access TV show, and we improvised skits to fill dead air. I woke as we juggled toys. 7 Jul

I dreamt S. T. Joshi and I watched in amazement as John Kessel, in the SFWA suite, recited Lucius Shepard’s novel Green Eyes from memory. 7 Jul

I dreamt I was being urged to bathe in a tub filled with jellyfish. Though it was mesmerizing to watch their bobbing, I demurred. Brrrrrr! 7 Jul

I dreamt I heard a noise and peered out a window to see a neighbor carting away all our fallen wood. (Now THAT’S a wish-fullfillment dream!) 6 Jul

I dreamt I wandered an office where space was so tight, workers had desks in toilet stalls. That’s illegal! I said. Stephen Colbert said no. 6 Jul

I dreamt my fingers were so slathered with pork fat from BBQ that when a zombie leapt up inside, I couldn’t turn the doorknob and escape. 6 Jul

I dreamt I saw the aftermath of a friend’s suicide, and knew he did it because I hadn’t responded to a tweet. And I felt tremendous guilt. 6 Jul

I dreamt Irene and I sat at the dining room table of our last home going over finances. I know it was a dream because one CD paid 15.31%! 4 Jul

I dreamt I was at a Hollywood party, chatting with Harlan Ellison, when he excused himself, sat at the piano, and performed “Proud Mary.” 4 Jul

I dreamt I was walking along, and people kept handing me stuff — an old coat, a 20-pound side of beef — until it was too much to carry. 3 Jul

I dreamt I rushed for a train when an old guy stopped me to talk about how he knew Carl Reiner. But, alas, he turned out to be delusional. 3 Jul

I dreamt that @BrianKeene and I were hanging out in a Texas desert, blowing stuff up. Stuff that deserved to be blown up. And it was fun. 3 Jul

I dreamt I was on the run from the police after burying a baby’s body and replacing it with a swaddled pineapple. Which made sense in dream. 3 Jul

I dreamt I wandered New Orleans in the slanting sun of early dawn, extremely happy, shouting “Good morning, everyone!” to passing strangers. 2 Jul

I dreamt I showed up at a wedding in a Spider-Man costume. All other guests dressed normally. The whole time, I wished I’d worn a suit. 2 Jul

I dreamt I was in a bookstore with Irene, and hugging a newspaper, when a photographer snapped my pic to use as a movie poster for a romcom. 2 Jul

I dreamt my mother sat me down, complaining it’s about time she had grand kids, but I cut her off. Odd, since I have a son in real life. 2 Jul

I dreamt I was mugged in a park and protected myself with a wine bottle. But when the guy’s gun came out, I dropped and gave him my wallet. 2 Jul

I dreamt I was Zatanna (nope, not Zatara), and used a spell to create high winds and whisk away crooks who were robbing a supermarket. 2 Jul

I dreamt I was in the green room with Oprah and her inner circle, discussing Mississippi. We found something about it (but what?) funny. 1 Jul

I dreamt I watched my son play with his younger (nonexistent in real life) sisters while I read the results of their psychological profiles. 1 Jul

I dreamt I was a kid, watching my mother walk out on my father. “If you’re leaving him,” I told her. “Don’t expect me not to leave you.” 1 Jul