Time to once more round up a whole month’s dreams from Twitter and see whether a theme can be found running through them. I haven’t discovered one yet in this or any other month, save that pop culture has rooted firmly in my subconscious, but who knows, something more meaningful might pop up yet.

Last month’s guest stars included Key and Peele, George Segal, Neil deGrasse Tyson, Christopher Lee, and more …

JANUARY 2015

I dreamt I wandered the streets of NYC with Jon Stewart, who showed me that there were now free buffets at all train stations and bus stops. Jan 30

I dreamt I listened as Stephen Jones and @effjayem coedited Famous Science Fiction Stories Inspired by Other Famous Science Fiction Stories. Jan 30

I dreamt I topped a sand dune to find a Great Gatsby-type party below on the beach. I played darts in one of the tents with a society dame. Jan 29

I dreamt my boss was Barry Malzberg and he had difficulty telling me I wasn’t getting a raise I expected. We swapped morgue stories instead. Jan 27

I dreamt I somehow gained Flash-like powers and used them to run all over NYC and take revenge on bullies. My father … was George Segal. Jan 27

I dreamt I was explaining the plot of Of Mice and Men (in which I once starred IRL) to two good old boys and trying very hard to not to cry. Jan 27

I dreamt a baker friend offered me one of her gourmet cookies, but whenever I’d lift one, all the tantalizing toppings would fall off. Nooo! Jan 26

I dreamt my wife and I were on opposite sides of a wide NYC avenue, and she shouted not to forget the ham. So I trudged the city, searching. Jan 26

I dreamt I was in a hospital, debating with friends the ripeness of carrots. Having never eaten an unripe carrot, no idea what that means. Jan 24

I dreamt my mother opened and read a letter from my son which seemed to be extremely important. Sadly, I woke before learning its contents. Jan 23 (more…)

Before we get too much deeper into the first month of the new year, here are the dreams I’d previously shared with you one at a time over on Twitter during the last month of the old year, only now they’re all rubbing together making some kind of strange subconscious poetry.

Last month, I dreamt of Jimmie Walker, Gil Kane, James Gandolfini, Bonnie Raitt, Chip Delany, Ann Landers, and who knows, maybe even you.

December 2014

I dreamt I was having dinner at a steak house, and the waiter said their steaks were the best because their cows didn’t eat other cows. Dec 31

I dreamt I was in a televised Christmas special with a cast that included Jimmie Walker and we were the only ones who didn’t flub our lines. Dec 31

I dreamt I tagged along with @neilhimself as he went to chat with J. R. R. Tolkien, and man, do I wish I could remember THAT conversation! Dec 31

I dreamt my wife and I adopted a baby elephant, and as she led it off our porch into the backyard, I tried to snap a pic to share with you. Dec 30

I dreamt I was invited to a major fashion show, and when a model complained about ’20s hairstyles, said, “Every age has its own wonders.” Dec 31

I dreamt I wandered with a crowd on some sort of secret mission, and when someone started firing at us with a machine gun, only I survived. Dec 28

I dreamt my son and I got into a discussion of the Iron Man stories from Tales of Suspense, but when he kept calling me Mr. Edelman, I woke. Dec 28

I dreamt a friend loaned me his car and I couldn’t get it to start, until I realized he’d wired it so without your seatbelt, it never would. Dec 28

I dreamt I tagged along with my congressperson as she visited the NSA, and the agents there teased me with info about me no one should know. Dec 27

I dreamt Paul Di Filippo and Deb Newton brought along their dog to Readercon and gave her to me to mind — she followed me wherever I went. Dec 27 (more…)

Last night I had a dream too convoluted to be shared only as a tweet, which means a full post is necessary …

So there I was in the world of Mad Men, working for Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce, and something was up. A big meeting was called, everyone who worked for the company was there, and at the front of the room, all of the big shots like Don Draper, Roger Sterling, and Bert Cooper were seated at a long table.

Bert gave me a “you’re supposed to be up here” look, which surprised me, as I didn’t realize I was that important. So I joined him at the table, and was beside him as he opened his briefcase and removed a set of index cards. He explained that the firm was in trouble, and the only way to save it was if we visited every client over the next day to prove how much their business meant to us. He handed out the cards so we each had our assignments.

Cut to Peggy Olson’s apartment later that night, where I arrived with others to strategize. I looked around the room and saw she had many comic books laying around, and talked with her briefly about that, because I had no idea she was into them. But we had no time for a lengthy discussion, and so got down to business. (more…)

Yep, it’s that time again. Another month is gone, so here’s the round-up of last month’s dreams as shared on Twitter. Guest stars included Will Smith, Marie Severin, Rik Mayall, Kristen Bell, Archie Bunker, and more.

November 2014

I dreamt I’d just critiqued someone’s story in a workshop, and the other writers, instead of critiquing that story — critiqued my critique! Nov 30

I dreamt I wandered Comic-Con’s exhibit hall in a suit, couldn’t figure out why, then realized I was supposed to be at my mother’s funeral. Nov 30

I dreamt I was at a convention when an agent cornered me and asked me to send him my novel. Now THAT’S a dream! Nov 28

I dreamt I was in a battle during medieval times … which I and my friends escaped by hopping into a Jeep. The anachronism then woke me. Nov 28

I dreamt I was bodyguard to a famous rapper, and we headed to make peace with his equally famous rival, which turned into a tense meeting. Nov 28

I had a dream that involved Rik Mayall as the People’s Poet from the Young Ones … but alas, now that I’m awake, I remember nothing more. Nov 27

I dreamt I was part of a panel discussion on the Rolling Stones, during which Mick Jagger showed up to say everything I’d said was wrong. Nov 27

I dreamt I was Reese from Person of Interest, about to go undercover (but where?) by donning an outrageous mod Austin Powers-like outfit. Nov 24

I dreamt I was exchanging emails with my (dead IRL) friend Bob Freedman about getting together for dinner, then woke and remembered. Damn. Nov 24

I dreamt I was on the Canadian border in the Pacific Northwest, looking down with @ShearmanRobert on a waterfall making Niagara seem puny. Nov 23 (more…)

Well, it’s that time again! October’s over, so I’m once more gathering together the dreams I shared on Twitter to see what poetry can be made of them when they’re assembled in one place.

Last month, my subconscious delivered me Jesse Pinkman, Harlan Ellison, Lena Dunham, Robert Downey, Jr., and more.

Dip into my brain below …

October 2014

I dreamt I was one of the human survivors on a boat cruising through the zombie apocalypse. No idea of our plans or where we were headed. Oct 31

I dreamt I was zooming down the highway when a bicyclist suddenly appeared in my lane. She grew slower and slower, but I couldn’t pass her. Oct 27

I dreamt that the state was auctioning off parts of my land without informing me, and I was running around trying to stop it from happening. Oct 27

I dreamt I was rushing around the house packing for a trip to North Korea, and realized my flight was only two hours away, so I was screwed. Oct 27

I dreamt I shared ukulele sheet music with a friend, and as I touched each page, a video popped up. Looking forward to paper doing that IRL! Oct 26

I dreamt I hung out with Jesse Pinkman, and we wanted KFC, so we stole a car and robbed people leaving a KFC. But we only took their KFC. Oct 26

I dreamt I moved back to NYC, and immediately regretted it. I felt claustophobic as I wandered the streets. Would I ever see the sun again? Oct 25

I dreamt I bumped into Harlan Ellison, who was immediately mad at me for not sending him a Get Well card. I apologized, but it didn’t help. Oct 25

I lost a dream because I no longer know what this middle-of-the-night note means: SO THERE BE PRO BALL Oct 24

I dreamt I was very carefully boxing up a complete run of Science Fiction Age magazine and preparing to ship it off to Paul Di Filippo. Oct 24 (more…)

A new month begins, and so it’s once more time to harvest the previous month’s dreams as shared on Twitter and see whether there’s any greater sense to be made of them when they’re gathered all in one place.

Last month, guest appearances were by Hodor, Henry Kissinger, Tina Fey, Mr. Bean, and more!

September 2014

I dreamt I wandered Columbus until I came upon a comics museum — NOT the Billy Ireland — and marveled at artwork which never existed IRL. Sep 30

I dreamt I was 30 Rock‘s Tina Fey, inherited $63,000, and when I heard my brother needed money, sent him $200, and felt generous about it. Sep 30

I dreamt @IreneVartanoff and I arrived home after a trip and got into a weird argument about ukuleles, details of which I don’t remember. Sep 30

I dreamt that while I was eating at @NextRestaurant, F. Brett Cox snuck in and sat down at my table, and I was afraid he’d be tossed out. Sep 30

I dreamt I went to a Taylor Swift concert with my son and was called to the stage to dance. I apologized in advance for his embarrassment. Sep 29

I dreamt I walked off with a tureen of pate from a restaurant’s refrigerator, and only after eating it ALL did I think — why did I do that? Sep 29

I dreamt I was in the hospital with a kid Human Torch, and he used his superpowers to fuse our door shut for a reason I no longer remember. Sep 29

I dreamt I was on set as Arnold Schwarzenegger and Henry Winkler filmed a movie, creating many bloopers as props continually failed them. Sep 28

I dreamt I was attending a support group of some kind when in walked fully armored Xena. Woke before learning what her problem was, though. Sep 28

I dreamt the government wanted me to register my telepathic powers, so I told them to leave me alone, that I’d make them forget I existed. Sep 28 (more…)

August was an amazingly light month for remembered dreams, thanks to trips to the Ohio Light Opera and the London Worldcon, as well Florida to help with my mother’s move. It’s not that I had fewer dreams (or so I believe), but that due to exhaustion, most of them effervesced upon waking.

In any case, here’s what survived my travels to be shared on Twitter, starring Goldie Hawn, Edward G. Robinson, John Kerry, Joss Whedon and more …

August 2014 Dreams

I dreamt I met a guy who was 7′ 6″ and attempted to tell him about my encounter with Eddie Carmel without being offensive about it. Aug 31

I dreamt a dancing group of laughing Mad Hatter’s Tea Party people danced up and surrounded me and wanted me to run away and join them. Aug 30

I dreamt I was bragging to people that Brett Cox was so strong he could punch himself in the face. But when he tried to do it … he failed. Aug 30

I dreamt that during a World Horror Con, I went to a baseball game with @joe_hill, caught a foul ball. The crowd cheered as I held it high. Aug 26

I dreamt I was a photographer in a war zone, and just as I was taking a pic of a guy in the distance with a rifle, he raised it right at me. Aug 26

I remember nothing of the dream this middle-of-the-night note was meant to bring to mind: DICK CAVETT MEETS MADONNA. The dream dissipated. Aug 25

I dream I was walking down an alley with @LenWein when he turned and offered me a job at a new comic book company he was starting up. Aug 24

I dreamt I sat with Goldie Hawn at the Oscars when Entertainment Weekly announced it would hand out written apologies to stars, so we went. Aug 15

I dreamt I was walking down the street with Edward G. Robinson, chatting him up about the life of Jack Williamson, and showing old photos. Aug 15

I dreamt I sat around with former Marvel Bullpenners (including Joss Whedon, a former editor-in- chief) and traded tales of the old days. Aug 10 (more…)

If you’ve been following me for any length of time, then you already know the drill—as each month ends, I gather the dreams I’d previously posted to Twitter to see what sense their surreality makes when all in one place.

And so … here’s what happened in July as I slept, starring Joel McHale, Donald Trump, Mariah Carey, Will Sasso, and many others.

July 2014

I dreamt I was with my (long dead) grandmother, posing for a photo with her since none exist IRL. My awareness of her death dId not wake me. Jul 31

I dreamt a friend told us he had cancer and was going deaf, “But the good news is — I’ll be dead before anyone realizes I can’t hear them.” Jul 31

I dreamt I was at a con where I took a donut, sliced it in half and used a cookie to make a sandwich. WHY HAVE I NOT DONE THIS IN REAL LIFE? Jul 31

I dreamt comic book artists I used to know in the ’70s showed up at Readercon, and when we chatted, the friendliest was Bernie Wrightson. Jul 30

I dreamt I offered my parents individually wrapped Life Savers, and Dad (dead IRL) demurred, while Mom took a cherry and gave me a lemon. Jul 30

I dreamt Jon Stewart and I were watching a member of The Daily Show staff try out a new bit … and I was the only one who was laughing! Jul 29

I dreamt I was fighting beside The Thing as part of a quartet — NOT the Fantastic Four — and he was shot in the neck. Bleeding, he fell. Jul 29

I dreamt I wandered a Worldcon and spent more time paying attention to racking up @fitbit steps than what was going on around me. Jul 28

I dreamt I lived in a Boston brownstone, used a shotgun to scare a burglar, then waited for police since (I assumed) guns are illegal there. Jul 28

I dreamt I interviewed a politician who’d edited a science fiction magazine when he was a kid. But he refused to answer questions about it. Jul 27 (more…)

It’s that time of the month again. June is over, so I can look back and see what my subconscious was doing that month while I slept. Popping up in the dreams I reported on Twitter were Philip Seymour Hoffman, Walter White, Mindy Kaling … and, as usual, many of my old comic book friends.

June 2014

I dreamt I was checking into a hotel, but was weirded out that registration was a hospital nursing station. What kind of room would I get? Jun 30

I dreamt I was Louis C.K., and was hired by a mob boss to pitch a softball game. I suspected something bad would happen to the losers. Jun 29

I dreamt a movie in which Philip Seymour Hoffman and Helen Hunt were scientists on a satellite trying to stop a meteor from striking Earth. Jun 28

I dreamt I asked @MindyKaling on a date, only when I picked her up, she’d transformed into @KChenoweth dressed like Glinda the Good Witch! Jun 27

I dreamt my wife and I were at a banquet where only Italian food was served and everyone but us had thick New Jersey accents. But … why? June 27

I dreamt I got into a fight with a guy during which I hit him in the jaw with my shotgun. Machine parts flew from his mouth! He was a robot! June 27

I dreamt my son and I were in the Breaking Bad universe, about to get in a jam with Walter White. But my boy managed to talk us out of it. June 27

I dreamt that due to a natural disaster we hosted college students in our house. They were ungrateful, upset we didn’t give them chocolates. June 26

I dreamt we were on an alien world, and heard the screams of a massacre in the distance, so locked ourselves in a cage where we’d be safe. June 26

I dreamt I drove down an alley and discovered life-sized mannequins dressed like superheroes, including one of the Martian Manhunter. June 25 (more…)

May was one of my lightest months ever in terms of remembered dreams, a product of attending both the World Horror Convention in Portland and the Nebula Awards weekend in San Jose—and taking redeye flights back home both times. The resulting exhaustion meant there was about a week and a half during which I remembered nothing.

I still managed to encounter Hodor, the Queen of England, Bill Paxton and Eddie Murphy, though, as the following tweets reveal …

May 2014 Dreams

I dreamt I was at a corporate meeting debating whether our Tumblr should be all images of bananas or peaches. Which sounds kinda sexual now. May 31

I dreamt my wife and I, struggling to find a restaurant we’d both enjoy, ended up at a joint which only served hoagies stuffed with fries. May 31

I dreamt I worked in a newsroom, and when there was a hubbub, I said, “That had to be because Princess Di had her baby.” And I was right! May 31

Another dream lost because this middle-of-of-night note sparks no memories — RECORDED SONG CD WOULD NOT [followed by three illegible words] May 29

I lost two of last night’s dreams because I can no longer understand the meaning of scribbled night notes. Like — 50+ YR EMP RETIRE PARTY May 29

I dreamt my son and I were at a newsstand filled with many back issues of MAD that never existed IRL — but I woke before I could read them. May 29

I dreamt I was on my way to a con panel the program book called, “Writing Characters That Aren’t Prospero.” But isn’t that 99.999% of them? May 28

I dreamt I was presented with a trophy — though I no longer remember by whom — that was a working blender with a bronze plaque attached. May 28

I dreamt I wandered a humongous Las Vegas hotel trying to find my room in its maze of halls. But I never did, and woke while walking. May 28

I dreamt I sat at a round table with the Queen of England as she very carefully, very patiently, taught me the proper way to fold napkins. May 28 (more…)