February’s begun, and you know what that means\u2014it’s time to gather in one place all the dreams I tweeted about during the month of January.<\/p>\n
As usual, plenty of members of the convention-going crowd are included, but this month you’ll also find Conan O’Brien, Frank Sinatra, Marlon Brando, Martin Sheen, Richard Dreyfuss, and other unusual suspects.<\/p>\n
Who knows? Maybe you’re in there, too!<\/p>\n
JANUARY 2011<\/strong><\/p>\n I dreamt I tried to help a drug addict on the subway by telling him how well rehab had worked for my sister-in-law. (Which is not true!) 30 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt when I left the Syfy office, my elevator zoomed to a basement where I was tossed in a van because they suspected I was an alien. 30 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I visited American Idol, where Randy told me of the time he worked with my cousin Herb, and Ryan offered me a low-paying job. 30 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was driven in a speeding car while trying not to spill an overfull bowl of matzoh ball soup delicately balanced on one knee. 30 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt my father was upset because I visited FL on his birthday rather than my mother’s. (It didn’t bother me that he was suddenly alive.) 30 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was woken by the rowdy singing of “When the Saints Go Marching In,” and looked outside to see a group of mourning AA members. 30 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was a doglike alien creature in a pixelated video game world, cheerfully exploring — opening doors, looking under things, etc. 29 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I bought three extremely large almond croissants at a bakery. Together, they were so HUGE no bag was large enough to hold them. 29 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was researching apartments rather than hotels for a long trip to Australia, and the cheapest I could find cost $8,000 per month. 29 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I bumped into Eric Van and David Shaw at Readercon, and was surprised to see them wearing identical wild, blinding, garish shirts. 28 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I needed to read a speech to introduce my daughter’s basketball team, but there were so many edits I couldn’t make sense of it. 28 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt we rented an apartment near the last Brooklyn stop of the D train and were readying to move back to NY. (Like that’ll ever happen.) 28 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was hired as an extra on a movie set. A very BORING movie net. No stars, no action, no unusual scenery. I wanted it to be over. 28 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt that while I watched TV, Amy Poehler came into the room, so I hit pause. She tapped the screen, as if confused that was possible. 27 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I entered a hotel meeting room for a panel at Readercon and found that my notes from a previous year’s panel were still on a table. 27 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt that my friend Allan was trapped inside a burning car, and I had to rip a door off to pull him from the flames. 26 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I weeded a plot of ground and planted seeds for things that couldn’t possibly grow there or anywhere. (Wish I could remember them!) 25 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was a serial killer on a cruiseship, and oddly, every word I spoke wasn’t spontaneous, but rehearsed and read off index cards. 25 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I worked at a beautiful copper still, and as its endless pipes and vessels boiled and bubbled, I knew I’d never make my deadline. 25 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I browsed a newsstand where I found a copy of Space and Time. Strangely, it didn’t look contemporary, but like a small 1980s issue. 24 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt Irene asked me to dump twelve 40-pound bags of dirt in our foyer, which I did (because it WAS Irene), even though it seemed odd. 24 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt aliens running from the government paused at a highway reststop and gave us mutant superpowers. My hands were now filigreed gold. 24 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt some friends of mine and I published comics during the zombie post-apocalypse, which we’d distribute daily while the undead slept. 24 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I invented an experimental plane for the govt. which a woman convinced me to steal to fly cross-country for a medical emergency. 23 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was having a discussion with a friend about the pros and cons of rehab when I noticed a scruffy David Arquette glaring at us. 23 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt a cheerleader asked me to drive my car toward her at high speed so she could do a backflip over it. Which she successfully did. 23 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I drove with my parents to a restaurant that had an impossible view of an ocean out one side and the Rocky Mountains out the other. 22 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I visited Syfy, but when I got to the restroom, realized I was dreaming, because of all the gold and marble not there in real life. 22 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt one of my freelancers had committed suicide. I was stunned, and tried to figure out whether I should have seen it coming. 22 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt that as I walked down a Manhattan street, I suddenly burst into a full-blown performance of “Bad Romance.” And I wasn’t bad either. 22 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I worked as a file clerk, and my boss — Eliott Gould — called me into his office and asked me to apologize to a coworker. 22 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I pumped Damon Knight for info on a great ’50s SF author I’d never met, but since I met most of them in the ’70s, I don’t know who! 22 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was a famous comic (but who?) hanging with Mick Jagger. We decided it would be funny to run though a Walmart and cause a scene. 20 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I bought a swimsuit with giant faces of Superman, Wonder Woman, and Flash on it, and modeled it for Len Wein and Christine Valada. 20 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt an assassin who’d tried to kill a politician with a rifle was blown up by a second assassin moments before he could be captured. 20 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I watched the Madonna episode of Glee while hanging around with the Glee cast and listening to the commentary track they recorded. 20 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was a General Patton-type leader addressing a handful of his troops as they were about to head into battle on a secret mission. 20 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was a Henry Ford-type industrialist giving a party speech to fat cats and plutocrats about how I’d invented “American royalty.” 19 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I worked for Gawker and was typing away at a computer with hundreds of others in a large, airless room as Nick Denton ranted at us. 19 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt that I ran into Mary Robinette Kowal on the London underground. We knew we were dreaming, and agreed to compare notes when we woke. 18 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was leaving the Reno Worldcon (which won’t actually happen for another seven months) and saying farewell to friends in the lobby. 18 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I bumped into John Barrowman, who rather than being 6′ tall as in life was about 6′ 8″. I tried (poorly) not to geek out over him. 18 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamed about a hijacked train, Butterfingers, Tony Randall, fireworks, mourning clothes, misunderstandings, Brooklyn, and Daniel Sunjata. 17 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I looked away from my desk to see Joe Morton walk by. When I looked back, a GQ photographer had set up his camera on my desktop. 16 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was President (as played by Martin Sheen), and to distract from a political scandal, I decided to fake an assassination attempt. 15 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I wandered a city where EVERY surface was covered with graffiti, bright reds and greens and purples that can only be found asleep 14 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I created an intricate cheese and crackers platter for your visit, then suddenly, it was gone! I searched, but couldn’t find it. 13 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was (young) Richard Dreyfuss, arriving home to find it had been invaded by zombies. I began blowing them away — until one spoke! 13 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I visited a theater that maintained a human jukebox. Press a button and people would come out of a nearby door to act, sing, dance. 12 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was in contact with Jack Williamson via a ouija board-like device. We talked about the afterlife. Sadly, I remember no details. 12 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I wandered the main streets of Uzbekistan. I had trouble deciding on a restaurant, so I entered a hotel and asked a concierge. 12 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt Silverberg asked me to perform a filk song he wrote about the end of the world. There were rhymes with Asimov, Spinrad and Strahan. 12 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt a sniper shot at my son several times, deliberately missing him, then asked me to step into the line of fire to prove I was worthy. 12 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt the news reported on a robotic stegosaurus wandering Central Park. I wanted Irene to see, but whenever she looked, they’d cut away. 11 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was waiting for William Shatner to drop by. Every time the lights of a passing car lit up the dark room I’d think, “Is that him?” 11 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was young Jeff Bridges, stumbling into a church in search of the woman I loved, and giving an impassioned speech asking for help. 10 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt Roy Thomas came up to me in a crowd and gave me a tiny raisin corn muffin he had baked in celebration of … I have no idea what. 10 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was rubbing a stick of butter on the upholstery of a car in the mistaken belief this would help preserve the leather. 10 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt Mark Rich had taken out a large memorial ad in the Washington Post for a recently deceased SF luminary. Can’t remember who, though. 9 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt Ellen Kushner worked Readercon registration, and in addition to my badge handed me massive Harvey Kurtzman and Peanuts art books. 9 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was cruising down sunny L.A. Streets on a motorcycle, passing endless Cuban restaurants. I couldn’t decide which one to eat at. 9 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt a magician stuffed a handkerchief in his fist and asked me to pull it out. When I did, 60+ feet of ornate balloons were revealed. 8 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt that while I was flipping through magazines from the 1850s and skimming the ads, a tiny baby walked over and we had a conversation. 8 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I visited a gallery where the featured artist (a man) wore a dress woven out of daisies. When I looked down I was dressed the same. 8 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was on an elevated platform with a view of the Rockies and desperately tried to find the train that would get me to Bensonhurst. 7 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt Michael Dirda was a museum curator, and I was trying to convince him to put together an art exhibit for Wally Wood’s 80th birthday. 6 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I rode an elevator that moved SO fast every time it stopped I floated into the air and the top of my head touched the ceiling. 6 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was in the middle of an open field as small meteors rained down, and I kept swinging a pool cue to swat them back into the sky. 6 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was on a conveyor belt that led me to Joe Scarborough’s studio, and I remained on his show until it took me out the other end. 5 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt that Bill Shunn handed out “zombie bananas” to his friends, bananas encased in black leather. He said there was a contest involved. 5 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I wandered the Imperial Theatre with a group of Clarion students and bumped into Frank Sinatra and Marlon Brando singing a duet. 4 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was studying to become a lawyer, and taking a multiple-choice quiz in which NONE of the answers seemed to make sense. 3 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt Darrell Schweitzer and I battled over the wig Rene Auberjonois wore as Odo in Deep Space Nine while a building collapsed around us. 3 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I shopped with Conan O’Brien at a dollar store. I bought a Captain America towel that I folded and wore as a Japanese hachimaki. 2 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I stood under the arch of my open front door, and tossed vampires one by one out into the bright sunshine. They sizzled like bacon. 2 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I wandered the Hallmark aisle at my local supermarket, and found a card that read, “Sorry about your recent plane crash.” 1 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamed I interviewed for a job at an advertising agency. As part of the process, _I_ had to interview someone else for the same position. 1 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I overheard Silverberg complaining to Heinlein that an SF mag had been somehow published that year WITHOUT a Silverbob story in it. 1 Jan <\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" February’s begun, and you know what that means\u2014it’s time to gather in one place all the dreams I tweeted about during the month of January. As usual, plenty of members of the convention-going crowd are included, but this month you’ll also find Conan O’Brien, Frank Sinatra, Marlon Brando, Martin Sheen, Richard Dreyfuss, and other unusual […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[12],"class_list":["post-1990","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-dreams"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.scottedelman.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1990","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.scottedelman.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.scottedelman.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.scottedelman.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.scottedelman.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1990"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.scottedelman.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1990\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.scottedelman.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1990"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.scottedelman.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1990"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.scottedelman.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1990"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}