Life’s been so busy lately that I haven’t had much time to blog—but my subconscious obviously has no intention of taking a break. One morning in May I actually woke and tweeted seven<\/i> dreams.<\/p>\n
Here—for those who wish to take a tour of my sleeping mind—are 104 dreams I tweeted in May all in one place.<\/p>\n
I dreamt I took part in a live competition to write a 5-minute script in 5 minutes to be performed (and judged) by professional actors. 9:17 AM May 31st<\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I’d once appeared on Mad About You as a Fruit of the Loom fruit. I argued with another actor about which of us had been the orange. 9:14 AM May 31st<\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I was telling my new wife the reasons my old wife had run off and abandoned me. Neither of these woman was my actual wife, however. 9:09 AM May 31st<\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I taught an alien to treat me as an equal, and not act subserviently. But when he went off on his own, I think that got him killed. 9:07 AM May 31st<\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I was in line at Disneyland with Leonard Nimoy. Great conversation! We parted before he could finish a Neal Stephenson anecdote. 9:03 AM May 31st<\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I met the woman who’d put me up for adoption, and read to her childhood diary entries about how much I hated her, making her cry. 8:59 AM May 31st <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I lived in an apartment and leaned over our terrace railing watching a very polite marathon go by — the runners were single file! 8:04 AM May 30th<\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamed I came across nine tree stumps in the woods in a three-by-three square. Standing atop two of them were Joshua Bilmes and Bob Howe. 8:00 AM May 30th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt two soaking-wet woman wearing swimsuits stood at my door holding a baby — for some reason special — that had just been born. 7:58 AM May 30th<\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I was touring a 1,000-year-old European church when gunmen started shooting the place up. I dropped, playing dead until they left. 7:55 AM May 30th<\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt we’d decided to harvest every rock and pebble from our property, and crawled across our eight acres collecting them into piles. 7:51 AM May 30th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I was on the phone with Barry Malzberg discussing poetry, roller coasters, and Groucho, though I no longer remember what we said. 8:11 AM May 29th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I sat in a crowded auditorium with Annalee Newitz and Charlie Jane Anders as we tossed questions at the cast of Smallville onstage. 8:08 AM May 29th<\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I was about to start surgery on a patient already under anesthesia, but couldn’t begin until a relative signed a liability release. 8:15 AM May 28th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I returned to Antarctica, this time via train, and saw an endless vista of black snow shaped like giant stacked building blocks. 8:13 AM May 28th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt my son and I stopped at a gas station and bought pizzas in bizarre shapes and sizes that have never actually existed on this Earth. 8:10 AM May 28th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt Irene and I, perched on top of furniture, fought zombies — according to the dream logic, we couldn’t let our feet touch the floor. 8:08 AM May 28th<\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt Irene and I put a series of beautifully decorated swan boats in a lake, and after they made their circuits, lifted them out again. 8:37 AM May 27th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I discovered I was not the only point of connection between disparate two UK friends of mine, that they knew each other already. 8:34 AM May 27th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I got into a deep discussion with Cory Doctorow about renting acreage to throw an old-timey carnival with the help of our friends. 8:30 AM May 27th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt a knock at my hotel room door. When I opened it, a man tried to force his way in. Had to break his fingers to close the door again. 8:29 AM May 27th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I still worked for Sovereign Media, that they were still publishing Realms of Fantasy, and we were pushing out the latest issue. 8:24 AM May 26th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt that Adam-Troy Castro went for a walk and was forced to taze somebody — but the who and the why of it have vanished upon waking! 8:22 AM May 26th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I tried to teach my mother chess, and as I did my father (who loved chess, and died last year) sat nearby and laughed and laughed. 8:19 AM May 26th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I worked at a secure scientific facility, and after a breach, I tackled the invader and detained him until the police could arrive. 8:15 AM May 26th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I learned that if you died at a certain time, you would return to life immortal, and I was trying to figure out my specific moment. 8:13 AM May 26th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I wandered Brooklyn with a toddler, and bumped into Bob Howe and Eleanor Lang. I tried and failed to convince them it was my son. 7:44 AM May 25th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I owned a white convertible boxed in on all sides by red convertibles, but friends helped me maneuver it free through a narrow gap. 7:41 AM May 25th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I ran into Kara DioGuardi, told her Idol was the only reality show I watched, and borrowed Hurley’s blackberry to tweet about it. 7:21 AM May 24th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I was a billionaire who’d built his own private manned rocket, and the U.S. government invaded my HQ to stop me from launching. 7:16 AM May 24th <\/i><\/p>\n
Here I thought I’d dream about Lost, but instead I dreamt about uploading Lost content to SCI FI Wire, which was far too meta a dream. 7:13 AM May 24th<\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I discovered an aisle in my local supermarket filled with many crude but cute mimeographed fanzines, and tried to buy them all. 8:49 AM May 23rd <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I was watching the Lost finale, and everybody in the show surprised me by including four-letter words in every line of the script. 8:45 AM May 23rd <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I was performing in a play so depressing that the lead character (not the actor) walked off the stage and left the grungy theater. 8:42 AM May 23rd <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I was onstage as part of an improv group, struggling to remember my roles. And also how I knew these people who seemed to know me. 8:08 AM May 21st <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt that while closing on a house, I wandered to an empty swimming pool where I discovered cracks leading to the center of the Earth. 8:05 AM May 21st <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt that I spotted a banner over a bar indicating it would hold a post-RWA-awards party, and struggled to snap an iPhone pic for Irene. 8:32 AM May 20th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt a man with horrific horizontal eyelid piercings approached, and I knew if I stared at him he would steal my soul. So I hurried by. 8:29 AM May 20th<\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I was going through a box of this month’s releases from DC Comics, every one of which had a killer cover by the late Jim Aparo. 7:41 AM May 19th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I was visiting the zoo with Bill Shunn and Laura Chavoen. Off in the distance, I saw my 24-year-old son wandering as a 2-year old. 8:09 AM May 18th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I was on board a replica of the Endurance, having volunteered for an Antarctic trip recreating Ernest Shackleton’s historic voyage. 8:05 AM May 18th<\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I ran into John Kessel, who told me about a new story, and what I missed at the Nebs. Then he curled up on a couch and took a nap. 8:56 AM May 17th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I rescued a girl being hassled at a gas station, after which we drove off in a covertible. It all seemed shot by Quentin Tarantino. 8:52 AM May 17th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I got bitten while trying to capture a rattlesnake in the house. As my arm grew numb, I ran to a nearby doctor, who snipped it off. 8:49 AM May 17th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I went to a London restaurant where the waiter refused to serve us any UK items because he didn’t think Americans would like them. 8:57 AM May 16th<\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I started work at Seattle Grace, and was subjected to a hazing as Meredith Grey replaced my patient with a Mortimer Snerd doll. 8:52 AM May 16th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I was entertaining Lance Reddick on the set of Fringe by doing a silly dance while singing Queen’s “Don’t Stop Me Now.” He laughed. 8:44 AM May 16th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt that while wearing a Phil Dick T-shirt at a museum, a woman asked to see a picture of Octavia Butler. But my iPhone wouldn’t work. 7:52 AM May 15th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt my mother (who’s still alive) asked me whether I cry more for her or for my father (who’s dead). But I refused to answer her. 7:49 AM May 15th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I worked in a UK lab. Outside, I found a hornlike branch, pressed it against my forehead, and declared, “I am the great god Pan!” 7:46 AM May 15th<\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I was giving away my late father’s typography books, but then they turned into a chalkboard, and he was alive, scribbling on it. 7:40 AM May 15th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I went househunting with my brother. During one open house, the realtor had to protect us from a savage poodle as large as a pony. 8:10 AM May 14th<\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I was at the beach as two turtles raced for the water. The polka-dotted one won. The other’s shell fell off, revealing a tiny man. 8:08 AM May 14th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I wandered a construction site while on a cell with my inlaws, and tried to decide whether to bring over Chinese or a chuck roast. 8:05 AM May 14th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I was part of an unidentified UK sitcom family and crawling down stairs through a pool of colored balls while reciting “The Raven.” 8:02 AM May 14th<\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I walked by a pool while having a conversation about special lollipops I’d ordered for Halloween. They wouldn’t be ready in time! 8:45 AM May 13th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I worked for Gold Key proofing old Star Trek comics, and found a typo on every page. When I complained to my boss, he didn’t care. 8:43 AM May 13th<\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I was on a set with Anthony Stewart Head, who warned me not to move. When I was free to turn around, there was a young Paul Newman. 8:40 AM May 13th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I waited for an elevator with my Dad at McGraw-Hill, where he worked. When he dropped his coat, I wrapped it around his shoulders. 8:37 AM May 13th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I drove past a ballfield and saw Robert Sawyer being interviewed. When I stopped the car, I found Hartwell and GRRM in the dugout. 8:20 AM May 12th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I received a copy of a new book of mine only to discover that all of my bracketed notes to the copyeditor had been printed, too. 8:17 AM May 12th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I was sitting around a table with some of this year’s Nebula nominees explaining why I wasn’t heading down to Florida this weekend. 8:15 AM May 12th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I was tired, and took a nap in a hotel room, only once I woke, I saw it was already occupied, and filled with someone else’s stuff. 8:13 AM May 12th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I was at a fair, sampling free meat, and then I was one of the guys handing it out, stuck listening to me complain about its taste. 8:11 AM May 12th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I read a SFWA Bulletin column titled “Books I Bought to Give My Boyfriend Tito This Weekend” about introducing guys to paranormals. 8:09 AM May 11th<\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I escaped from Lost’s island only to have my plane shot down. The Brit officer who captured me said I’d never see the Queen again. 8:06 AM May 11th<\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I fell out of a plane with a parachutist whose chute didn’t open. He bounced, but I was fine. I tried to heal him by doing sit-ups. 8:03 AM May 11th<\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I was Drea de Matteo in Desperate Housewives, dousing John Barrowman with water, after which he melted just like the Wicked Witch. 7:58 AM May 11th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt drug dealers were about to run me over, and lit a stick of TNT so when I died I’d blow them up and take them with me. Breaking Bad! 8:36 AM May 10th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I sat next to David Letterman, and told a convoluted joke about White People that killed. But that’s all I remember about the joke. 8:32 AM May 10th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt that a neighbor called super early on a weekend morning just to chat, startling me awake, and I lectured her never to do it again! 8:16 AM May 9th<\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt that as I wandered the fashion district of an unidentified Australian city, my dead grandmother appeared beside me. And I was glad. 8:13 AM May 9th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt Kim Newman arrived at a bookstore wearing a trenchcoat and fedora, prepared to perform a one-man show about the life of Sam Spade. 8:08 AM May 9th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt Karen Newton gave me a tour of a magnificent, abandoned 200-year-old hotel she’d restored into a combination library\/restaurant. 8:05 AM May 9th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I overheard a woman discussing plans for another Columbine, but couldn’t decide whether she was a terrorist or just a writer. 7:59 AM May 9th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I held a packed Worldcon bid party — site unknown — in my bedroom, and Cory Doctorow and Cecilia Tan were singing show tunes. 8:17 AM May 8th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I retired from a review column I wrote for decades and was training my replacement — some random guy sent over by a temp agency. 8:15 AM May 8th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I read a Sunday comics section filled with strips that don’t exist, my favorite being the adventures of a housefly, drawn as a dot. 8:30 AM May 7th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I was Steve Carell visiting The Daily Show, and grew upset because Jon Stewart wouldn’t serve the wine and cheesecake I’d brought. 8:28 AM May 7th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I drove behind Adam-Troy Castro on the highway, following him onto an exit ramp that spiraled and looped only to end in a dropoff. 8:24 AM May 7th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I was sitting at my desk editing SCI FI Wire. But … that’s not fair! That’s what I do ALL day! Aren’t dreams meant to be magical? 8:36 AM May 6th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I was at Marvel asking Peter David for advice on writing comics, while Len Wein brought in hundreds of boxes of Girl Scout cookies. 8:33 AM May 6th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I arrived at a secure govt. facility for a book group. Participants included Melissa Ann Singer and Captain Awesome from Chuck. 8:30 AM May 6th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I was delivered a check meant for Pat Cadigan, and for some reason gave it to someone else to return to her so she wouldn’t know. 8:24 AM May 6th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I was rehearsing to appear in an (unidentified) opera by listening to endless recordings of Nathan Lane performing the same role. 8:22 AM May 5th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I was involved in some variation of a Dancing with the Stars competition, and insulting our opponents with a mocking dance routine. 8:23 AM May 4th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I was reading a comic book drawn by Paul Gulacy that included a battle between Shang-Chi, Master of Kung Fu … and Darth Vader. 7:54 AM May 4th <\/i><\/p>\n
Another dream lost in an indecipherable, hastily scrawled, middle-of-the-night note: “Rte growth postage books dead author [illegible]” 7:51 AM May 4th <\/i><\/p>\n
I lost two dreams to incoherent middle-of-the-night notes. Here’s one: “annual V up forever” What was _that_ one about? I’ll never know. 7:49 AM May 4th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I was at a NY newsstand trying to buy copies of the Post and Daily News, but my wallet was only filled with foreign currency. 7:44 AM May 4th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I was now in charge at Marvel Comics and asked for a raise by a colorist I knew in the ’70s who hadn’t had a raise since then. 7:42 AM May 4th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt Irene and I were touring Germany and were unable to proceed because we got trapped on a street blocked by pro wrestlers wrestling. 7:38 AM May 4th <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I had a coupon from the local fireworks store good for one rocket larger than I was, and I rushed to pick it up before July 4. 8:26 AM May 3rd<\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt that the SFWA president sang an anthem commissioned to be performed at the start of all SFWA meetings. Members were _not_ pleased. 8:24 AM May 3rd <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I shipped a package to Marvel Comics, was also the courier bringing that package to Marvel, and then delivered it to … myself. 8:20 AM May 3rd <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt it was Friday night, we still lived in our previous home, Sal from Mad Men was our realtor, and we were prepping for an open house. 8:15 AM May 3rd <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I watched a film adaptation of an unidentified Robert Heinlein novel, and recoiled in horror at a stereotypical Heinlein sex scene. 8:12 AM May 3rd <\/i><\/p>\n
I’ve lost one of last night’s dreams, because I no longer remember what this note means: “Phil Dick [illegible] Williamson gun [guy?] tape.” 9:13 AM May 2nd <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I was in Dr. Phil’s audience, wrapped in a heavy blanket, ignoring the guests on stage, watching miniature horses roam the theater. 9:06 AM May 2nd<\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I wore an invisibility suit and tossed coin-sized grenades while running through endless corridors fighting an enemy army. 9:03 AM May 2nd <\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I was at work in the Marvel Bullpen just as if I’d never left, debating with other oldtimers the exact staff tenure of Roger Stern. 7:45 AM May 1st<\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I was at the Nebula Awards ceremony chatting with Sheila Williams. We had a long talk, but everything we said evaporated as I woke. 7:43 AM May 1st<\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I was (at first) a cop shutting down a club for serving alcohol to minors and (then) the angry father of one of the hassled minors. 7:42 AM May 1st<\/i><\/p>\n
I dreamt I was in some con’s SFWA suite — I saw Eileen Gunn, Sean Wallace, Resa Nelson — telling why I wouldn’t make this year’s Nebulas. 7:39 AM May 1st<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Life’s been so busy lately that I haven’t had much time to blog—but my subconscious obviously has no intention of taking a break. One morning in May I actually woke and tweeted seven dreams. Here—for those who wish to take a tour of my sleeping mind—are 104 dreams I tweeted in May all in one […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[12],"class_list":["post-18402","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-dreams"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.scottedelman.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18402","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.scottedelman.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.scottedelman.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.scottedelman.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.scottedelman.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18402"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.scottedelman.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18402\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18403,"href":"https:\/\/www.scottedelman.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18402\/revisions\/18403"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.scottedelman.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18402"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.scottedelman.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18402"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.scottedelman.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18402"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}