We’re already a week into May, so it’s that time again!<\/p>\n
Here are all of the dreams I tweeted<\/a> about last month, gathered in one place to see whether they make more sense en masse than one at a time.<\/p>\n During April, I dreamt of Ronald D. Moore, Stephen Colbert, Ron Howard, Judy Garland, Robert Redford, Hitler, and more. And so …<\/p>\n April 2014<\/strong><\/p>\n I dreamt I was taking part in a reality TV show set in the 1800s, and the lack of hot showers was getting to me. I tried to bribe the crew! Apr 30 <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was on a panel with @EllenDatlow<\/a>, @neilhimself<\/a> and two others when we suddenly all pulled out instruments and broke into song. Apr 30 <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I stumbled upon Adam-Troy and Judi Castro at 4:00 a.m., and only after she hugged me did I realize I was wandering in my pajamas. Apr 29 <\/em><\/p>\n Actual dream dialogue with @haszombiesinit<\/a>. ME: Let’s go for pineapple buns. HER: I’m allergic to fish and potatoes. ME: Not even rutabagas? Apr 29<\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I gossiped with others by the closed doors of a ballroom waiting for the Stokers to begin. And the floor was littered with comics! Apr 29 <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt @IreneVartanoff<\/a> were considering a visit to a Star Wars<\/em>-themed amusement. Oddly, the brochures were filled with Peanuts<\/em> characters. Apr 28 <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I handed my wife a complex, multi-page legal document delineating who would get control of my DNA after my death. (But why?) Apr 28 <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I met Lake Bell while walking up a crowded stairway. We bonded over unicorns, so she visited, met my friends. We ran though snow. Apr 28 <\/em><\/p>\n I’ve lost one of my dreams because this middle-of-the-night note no longer acts as a catalyst: SYFY JELLY BEANS \/ CONFUSED WOMAN \/ NIGHT Apr 27 <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was arrested at a protest and told to “wait here” by a cop. Then I was forgotten, and after hours wondered if I could just leave. Apr 27 <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was a contestant on a game show hosted by Ed McMahon and snuck off during filming while the camera wasn’t on me, then snuck back. Apr 27 <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt Connie Hirsch and I left a con for a soup-only joint where we bought dozens of mugs of soup to bring back for our friends. Apr 26 <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was with Ron Howard when he accepted a Best Picture Oscar by pulling out a ukulele and singing and strumming his speech. Apr 26 <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt that while on a road trip, I stopped at a Star Wars<\/em> store. The owner thought I was too tired to continue, and confiscated my phone. Apr 26 <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I spotted a mobbed Robert Redford, and he perked up when I mentioned my name, since he’d worked with my second cousin Herb Edelman. Apr 25 <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt traffic stopped on the highway, and when I got out to look, the cars vanished — replaced by an endless string of Spidey costumes! Apr 24 <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I wandered London in the rain — and EVERY business I passed was a fish and chips shop. They were endless! There was nothing else! Apr 24 <\/em><\/p>\n I seem to have lost one of my dreams because I no longer know the meaning of this middle-of-the-night note: N OATMEAL SUPPORT FOOTBALL. Apr 23 <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt @saladinahmed<\/a> had grown up in Brooklyn, and created decade-by-decade maps reflecting the borough’s changing ethnic demographics. Apr 22 <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt a friend agreed to lend me his car, but it was only the size of a toy! I figured out clicking the key fob made it expand, though. Apr 22 <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I tried to slaughter a cow by firing a rifle through the walls of a hotel room containing a herd figuring I’d surely hit SOMETHING. Apr 21 <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was the assistant to a Nazi scientist, and when Hitler left a message and I forgot to tell the guy he’d called, I felt his wrath. Apr 19 <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was a wrestler wrestling another wrestler on The Colbert Show<\/em> because it was ending. Weird, but it made sense within the dream. Apr 19 <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was part of an ancient superpowered family that behaved like spoiled gods. I hated them, and used my own powers mostly to hide. Apr 19 <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was about to have a vasectomy, and did not trust the doctor AT ALL — because he was the guy who played Alby Grant in Big Love<\/em>. Apr 16 <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was sharing a hotel room with Bill O’Reilly, and no sleep occurred because we argued all night over our political differences. Apr 16 <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was told there was room for only one more at a new Monty Python film premiere, so I ran through endless corridors to the theater. Apr 15 <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was a teenager walking to school with my dad, who was Louis C.K., and he pretended he was also a kid, which I found kinda creepy. Apr 15 <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was making cupcakes with another competitor on a TV cooking show, and I complained about “reality” shows the entire time. Apr 15 <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was Judy Garland, storming off to confront Clark Gable, only I couldn’t get her\/my tiny shoes on because my feet were me-sized. Apr 15 <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt a riderless horse galloped by — riderless save for a statue of a person — and as it passed me, the replica fell at my feet. Apr 14 <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt an Italian woman needed help with some English words in a magazine, but when she showed it to me, I couldn’t read them. Of course! Apr 14 <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt Victor Garber and I were scammers, and after we were recorded by an investigator, I threatened to kill him, but woke before we did. Apr 13 <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was in a Peanuts<\/em> cartoon, and Lucy told me she wasn’t going to be my friend anymore. I begged her not to tell Charlie Brown. Apr 12 <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I tried to pull a guy out of the way of an oncoming train, wasn’t fast enough, and ended up holding only the back half of his body. Apr 12 <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I wandered cobblestone streets with Stephen Colbert, and slowly began to realize that somehow we were no longer in this century. Apr 12<\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was at a yard sale and bought a package of raw chicken breasts left out in the sun. These’ll be fine to cook and eat, I thought. Apr 12 <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was traveling through Mexico with my dad Bryan Cranston (!) when Mom disappeared at a rest stop. I tried to contact the police. Apr 11 <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I worked in Governor Christie’s office, and he forced me to take a bizarre physical which involved hooking me up to an oxygen mask. Apr 11 <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I wandered the Marvel Bullpen with superhero action figures I got from a gumball machine as a kid, asking for help in ID-ing them. Apr 11 <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I watched as a famous chef snuck supermarket-bought eclairs into his restaurant, and was horrified by this revelation. Apr 10 <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I worked for a toy manufacturer which used shoddy materials so everything I designed fell apart. I argued with the boss. Then quit. Apr 10 <\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I somehow got a front row seat at a Star Wars VII<\/em> panel with a bearded Harrison Ford but walked out because I’d hated the prequels. Apr 8<\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I was about to head out when I found several pages of handwritten first draft I’d forgotten and so rushed to transcribe it instead. Apr 8<\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt it was either way late or way early, and we couldn’t find an all-night restaurant. Luckily, Jim Minz arrived and led us to one!Apr 8<\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt a concert promoter decided he’d made enough profit, and handed each audience member three bucks on the way in, one on the way out. Apr 8<\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt @Nalo_Hopkinson<\/a> and I were about to be roommates, and so started culling my book collection. But she said don’t, there’ll be room. Apr 8<\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I improvised zombie songs for my friends in a variety of styles. The cha-cha was the most interesting. Wish I could remember them! Apr 7<\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt my father, brother, and I fought over which of us would pick up a restaurant check, and it devolved into quite a wrestling match. Apr 7<\/em><\/p>\n I dreamt I met a dog and asked its name. The dog answered, “Sockamagee.” “That’s a strange name,” I said. “Oh, well,” said the dog. Apr 4<\/em><\/p>\n