I dreamt last night that I wandered a theater lobby, and through open doors I could see a rehearsal was taking place. Then, looking at the cast up on the stage, I saw my cousin Herb Edelman* was running lines, and realized that somehow, I’d gone back in time!

It was 1996, and Herb was still alive.

So I walked toward the stage, and when Herb spotted me, he smiled. I told him I’d come from the future, which didn’t seem to bother him. Hey, it was a dream, so we both accepted that as fact, and didn’t worry about the how. We sat on the floor behind the last row of empty seats, and chatted. Eventually, I asked him a question which has always puzzled me in real life. (more…)

We’re already a week into May, so it’s that time again!

Here are all of the dreams I tweeted about last month, gathered in one place to see whether they make more sense en masse than one at a time.

During April, I dreamt of Ronald D. Moore, Stephen Colbert, Ron Howard, Judy Garland, Robert Redford, Hitler, and more. And so …

April 2014

I dreamt I was taking part in a reality TV show set in the 1800s, and the lack of hot showers was getting to me. I tried to bribe the crew! Apr 30

I dreamt I was on a panel with @EllenDatlow, @neilhimself and two others when we suddenly all pulled out instruments and broke into song. Apr 30

I dreamt I stumbled upon Adam-Troy and Judi Castro at 4:00 a.m., and only after she hugged me did I realize I was wandering in my pajamas. Apr 29

Actual dream dialogue with @haszombiesinit. ME: Let’s go for pineapple buns. HER: I’m allergic to fish and potatoes. ME: Not even rutabagas? Apr 29

I dreamt I gossiped with others by the closed doors of a ballroom waiting for the Stokers to begin. And the floor was littered with comics! Apr 29

I dreamt @IreneVartanoff were considering a visit to a Star Wars-themed amusement. Oddly, the brochures were filled with Peanuts characters. Apr 28

I dreamt I handed my wife a complex, multi-page legal document delineating who would get control of my DNA after my death. (But why?) Apr 28

I dreamt I met Lake Bell while walking up a crowded stairway. We bonded over unicorns, so she visited, met my friends. We ran though snow. Apr 28

I’ve lost one of my dreams because this middle-of-the-night note no longer acts as a catalyst: SYFY JELLY BEANS / CONFUSED WOMAN / NIGHT Apr 27

I dreamt I was arrested at a protest and told to “wait here” by a cop. Then I was forgotten, and after hours wondered if I could just leave. Apr 27 (more…)

I haven’t posted here recently because prepping for Saturday’s daffodil party (about which more later) took up almost all of my time. But as I get back up to speed, here are last month’s collected dreams as originally shared on Twitter. I always find they make a bit more poetic sense when placed up against each other like this.

Last month’s dreams starred the Queen of England, Harlan Ellison, Laurence Olivier, Stan Lee, Oprah Winfrey and others.

Delve into my subconscious … if you dare.

March 2014


Many dreams last night, almost entirely lost. Only snippets remain, without context: Jack Dann, Louis C.K., a unicorn, my son a toddler.
 Mar 31

I dreamt I was a car thief challenged by a TV show to punk Ben Affleck by stealing his. It took me until the very last second to succeed.
 Mar 30

I dreamt I ate a pint of ice cream while riding in a car with Hurley. He wanted some, but I wouldn’t share my spoon. Luckily, he found one.
 Mar 30

I dreamt I arrived at a swimming pool to find hundreds of noisy kids … and the Queen of England in full regalia. We discussed her agenda.
 Mar 30

I dreamt I was at Comic-Con waiting to interview Harlan Ellison about his new comics miniseries tying together the entire Marvel universe.
 Mar 28

I dreamt I was standing in front of an airport departures board ready to board the next flight to whichever destination was the most exotic.
 Mar 28

I dreamt I was microwaving tons of popcorn — but not to eat. I was using it as packing material because we were moving.
 Mar 27

I dreamt my car was suddenly coated with ice. I stopped, but was trapped inside, so I put on the blinkers and hoped I wouldn’t get hit. 
Mar 27

I dreamt my grown son entertained guests by banging out “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” with mallets on a toy xylophone. Mar 27

I dreamt I was unpacking bags of groceries and loading the freezer in the dark, and my wife shouted to knock at off — it was 2:00 a.m.!
 Mar 27 (more…)

A new month has begun, so it’s time to corral all of the previous month’s dreams that I shared on Twitter and see what sense they make when placed in close proximity. There are far fewer dreams below than in any other month since I started doing this, for which I blame our recent vacation in Santiago and Easter Island. Due to exhaustion, many of my dreams effervesced upon waking and could not be recorded … which for someone with an active dream life like mine is unsettling.

In any case, check out last month’s dreams, which included guest appearances from Philip Seymour Hoffman, Robert Silverberg, Robert Blake, and many others …

February 2014


I dreamt I found Michael Swanwick, Gardner Dozois and others on a looong line, but never found the front, or learned why they were waiting. Feb 28 


I dreamt I arrived at a church where I was volunteering, saw others on hands and knees scrubbing the sidewalk, and thought, “this is bogus.”
 Feb 28 



I dream I bumped into Nancy Kress, who forced $20 on me, claimed it was payment for a photo, then ran off, leaving me totally baffled. 
Feb 28 



I dreamt (for no discernible reason) that Robert Blake was dressed like a bishop, and kept tripping as he walked down the street. Strange.
 Feb 27 



I dreamt I was Santa, but instead of riding ON the sleigh, I’d fallen off and was being dragged behind. And the damn reindeer wouldn’t stop!
 Feb 27 



I dreamt it was in the old timey days, and I was riding the rails with my boss, and there was foreshadowing that there’d be a train robbery.
 Feb 27 


I dreamt an old lady stopped me on the street and asked me to play “Good Night, Irene” on my ukulele. I said — Are you sure? It’s so SAD! 
Feb 27 



I dreamt I rowed furiously across a stormy ocean until I hit land. But I soon realized I’d come to rest on the back of a huge sea creature!
 Feb 26 



I dreamt Paul Witcover and I had discovered a cache of badly drawn Western comics from the ’50s, but were managing to enjoy them anyway. 
Feb 25 



I dreamt I was to receive a juggling trophy, but I was late for the ceremony because @IreneVartanoff had trouble getting through security.
 Feb 25 
 (more…)

It’s once more time to collect all of a month’s dream tweets in one place to see what they can tell me when rubbing up against each other in one place. In January, I dreamt about Ben Gazzara, Samuel L. Jackson, George R.R. Martin, Justin Bieber, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, and more.

JANUARY 2014


I dreamt I worked as a waiter in a @Gachatz restaurant and was TERRIBLE at it. I woke while being chastised by customers for being inept.
 Jan 31

I dreamt I doing my old job, getting content live on @Blastr, then suddenly realizing — Ooops! I’m not supposed to be doing this any more!
 Jan 29

I dreamt I was on my back on the floor and wanted to stand, but couldn’t. A baby had fallen asleep on my arm and I didn’t want to wake it.
 Jan 29

I dreamt I was hanging with friends beneath a highway overpass near a beach, and dancing around to dodge waves when they threatened us.
 Jan 29

I dreamt three female game developers were sharing with me horrific stories of the discrimination they faced. Was I researching an article? 
Jan 28

I dreamt I was invited to a mysterious gathering, attended with hundreds of others I did not recognize … and woke before the presentation.
 Jan 28

I dreamt I visited a grandmother (dead IRL), and grew concerned I couldn’t find my mother. Prodded, she admitted she’d been hospitalized. 
Jan 28

I dreamt I was reading in a quiet library when Justin Bieber, trailed by hundreds of shrieking teens, entered and held a press conference.
 Jan 27

I dreamt I was surrounded by Revolutionary War reenactors who acted as if I was one of them … but I had no idea who I was supposed to be.
 Jan 27

I dreamt Paul Di Filippo told me to read the latest Locus, where I saw an announcement for a new collection of mine I’d known nothing about. 
Jan 27 (more…)

Another year has gone by, but more importantly, another month has gone by, and so I’m once more gathering together the dreams of a previous month to see whether poetry can be made by rubbing them together.

In December, I attempted to achieve Satori via a gumball machine, smuggled a Nerf ball up my nose, was eaten by zombies, visited my wife in a Mexican prison, and more.

Take a look below and see whether these dreams make any more sense grouped together like this than they did one day at a time.

DECEMBER 2013

I dreamt George Plimpton had gathered the members of my writers group and was teaching us an intricate dance we were to perform later.

 30 Dec

I dreamt I bought a pastry I’d never had before while wandering streets of a foreign country, hated it, but found nowhere to throw it out.

 29 Dec

I dreamt I was late for an already begun ukulele parade and was struggling into a uniform which included a medal the size of a dinner plate. 

29 Dec

I dreamt a goat was following me, and when I sat on a bench and cracked open my laptop, it pressed up against me and wouldn’t let me work.

 29 Dec

I dreamt my wife and I tried to cross a massive intersection — 16 lanes in each direction! — and got trapped in the middle dodging semis.

 28 Dec

I dreamt I wandered a mall with my mother, and she was moving so fast I couldn’t keep up with her. Which should have told me it was a dream. 

28 Dec

I dreamt I found a shop at the mall that was set up like a yard sale, selling old mags and comics. A child took my hand and wouldn’t let go.

 27 Dec

I dreamt my wife was in the hospital, and when she began vomiting, a nurse ushered me from the room because that was making her contagious.

 27 Dec

I dreamt I visited @Scalzi, was amused by his four toddlers. He showed me his Classics Illustrated collection while we waited for pancakes.

 27 Dec

I dreamt I was in a spooky funhouse, moving through the dark rooms in reverse, pushing past and annoying those who were doing it correctly.

 27 Dec (more…)

Looking back at November, it seems I had fewer dreams that month than any month I can remember. And I have no idea why.

No matter. I’m still tossing my dream tweets together here to see if they make more sense when rubbing up against each other this way.

November’s guest stars included Caroline Kennedy, Robert Silverberg, Jay Lake and the doctors and interns of Seattle Grace Hospital …

November 2013



I dreamt I was about to do a reading and ‪@jay_lake wheeled in a cot so I could tuck in with the audience as if sharing a bedtime story. 30 Nov

I dreamt I was in a hospital for tests, and my nurse handed me a needle and told me to find a vein and draw my own blood. I told her … no. 

30 Nov

I dreamt I took an intensive writing course, which was great, but my teacher could only speak Spanish … and so we had some difficulties.

 29 Nov

I dreamt I peered outside in search of deer, and instead saw a large lizard, at least six feet long, ambling along. Which didn’t seem odd. 

27 Nov

I dreamt a woman was being attacked by a crowd in the UK, and I intervened to save her — but when I looked around after, she’d disappeared.

 27 Nov

I dreamt I was first in line at ‪@FranklinBBQ, with ‪@IreneVartanoff, ‪@Shunn, and ‪@Chavoen. Then a cook ate brisket next to me, torturing us! 

25 Nov

I lost one of last night’s dreams because I have no idea what my scribbled note, meant to act as a memory catalyst, means: MACY’S DREAM BOOK

 23 Nov

I dreamt I bumped into David Kyle and Robert Silverberg at Worldcon. We hugged and wouldn’t let go, as if we knew it was the last time.

 23 Nov

I dreamt I visited a museum in darkness, deliberately so. We we meant to touch the statues and imagine them. Only then did the lights go on.

 22 Nov

I dreamt I stepped outside to discover someone had built a huge brick house on the lot next door, one I’d never noticed being constructed. 

21 Nov (more…)

October was busy, with a visit from friends and three convention trips, which means it was a light month for dreams. Travel and visiting, whether from or to friends, leads to exhaustion, which in turn leads to fewer dreams. But still, I managed to have many guest stars and strange occurances while I slept.

Let’s see, as usual, whether poetry is made when they rub up against each other like this …

October 2013

I dreamt that while I was on the phone with my father, I accidentally shot myself. But don’t worry — it was only a flesh wound! 30 Oct

I dreamt my girlfriend and I were living with a cult, supposedly happy, but talking to each other in code about our plans to soon escape. 28 Oct

I dreamt friends had a baby that — though he was chubby and healthy — was only the size of a hardboiled egg. I was scared to feed him. 27 Oct

I dreamt I lent Eastbound & Down‘s Guy Young a sweater — he put it on inside out, and it immediately started unraveling, trailing threads. 27 Oct

I dreamt there was a problem at the Neb banquet: Someone had forgotten the red noses! So @ColleenLindsay leapt on horseback to save the day. 27 Oct

I’ve lost the details of my dreams. But there was one about BBQ. And one about dumping leftover pain meds. And one about a con suite. Sigh. 25 Oct

I dreamt I ran to the roof of an apartment, feeling hunted. Then mercury oozed up though my feet, bursting out the top of my head. I woke! 24 Oct

I dreamt I took my son to see “On the Twentieth Century,” but though the curtain rose and the actors came out, no one ever started singing. 24 Oct

I dreamt I watched an episode of Dr. Phil in which viewers had to ID a superhero from art — I scrawled Barry Allen/The Flash on a postcard. 24 Oct

I dreamt I was a walking corpse, showing the disfiguring signs of my death, standing in a line with similar others waiting to be judged. 23 Oct

(more…)

It’s that time again. One month has ended, and a new one begins, so here are all of September’s dream tweets gathered in one place to see whether their surreality increases or decreases when rubbing shoulders like this.

Last month, I dreamt of George R. R. Martin, Isaac Asimov, Maisie Williams, Alfred Hitchcock, Tim Gunn, and many more.

SEPTEMBER 2013



I dreamt Paul Levitz and I scurried around a convention debating whether or not he should publish an anniversary issue of The Comic Reader.

 ‬29 Sep

I dreamt I was back in time with a guy who hoped to stop the Charles Manson killings, but based on clues, I thought he’d be the next victim.

 ‬‬28 Sep 



I dreamt I was walking across the U.S., and sat by a sandy stretch of highway, trying to figure where I was, looking through a guidebook.

‬ ‬26 Sep 



I dreamt I led a surreal Dada-ist protest march that wasn’t really protesting anything. We’d march by other marches, confusing them.

 ‬‬26 Sep 



I dreamt I was Dexter, and when someone slashed my sister (not anyone from the show), I hopped in my striped racecar to run him down.

‬ ‬26 Sep 



I dreamt my (deceased) friend Charlie Guida had turned chef, and as I worked for him, he told me, “We audition for our jobs every day.”

 ‬‬26 Sep 



I dreamt I built a working LEGOs helicopter which I planned to use to get aerial shots for a movie. I lent it to a friend … who broke it.

 ‬‬26 Sep 



I dreamt I was reading the Sunday comics when I noticed one strip (Family Circus?) had been dedicated to my grandfather, and showed others.

 ‬‬25 Sep 



I dreamt I lip synced to a series of recorded opera arias, and everybody was fooled. Which is surprising, as the singers were all women!

‬ ‬25 Sep 



I dreamt I was Daniel Radcliffe, and performed some (now forgotten) cross-franchise prank with Maisie Williams to make fans’ heads explode.

 ‬‬24 Sep 

 (more…)

I remembered fewer dreams last month than usual, thanks to the exhaustion brought on by Worldcon and UkeFest. But what I did harvest from my subconscious is still interesting … to me at least. And since I like to see what poetry they make rubbing up against each other, rather than just singly on Twitter as they were originally shared, I’ve collected them here.

Last month, I dreamed of Walter White, Yao Ming, Buddy Ebsen, Margaret Thatcher and more. Let’s see, shall we?

AUGUST 2013

I dreamt I was driving through Boston when I suddenly found myself in the middle of the marathon — heading the wrong way! No one got hurt.

 28 Aug 


I dreamt I helped Boardwalk Empire‘s Gillian Darmody get an abortion. There was lots of blood and lots of screaming and it was terrifying.



 28 Aug 

 




I dreamt I was working in a cubicle farm at 2:00 a.m., and when someone came looking for a coworker, said everyone else went home hours ago.



 28 Aug 

 




I dreamt my grandfather the bookie was beating up women, and I fumbled through drawers for a pistol to threaten him and make him stop.



 28 Aug 

 




I dreamt I was Who‘s next Doctor — not Peter Capaldi, but me, or someone like me — and when I introduced myself to fans, they freaked out.



 28 Aug 

 




I dreamt I was visiting friends at their Jerusalem home, but then we were suddenly in China, and after that, Japan. Geographical confusion!



 27 Aug 

 


I dreamt I was a mortgage underwriter, rearranging tall stacks of loan applications, struggling to figure out which I should analyze first.



 27 Aug 

 




I dreamt I wandered Macy’s and found Macklemore and Lewis setting up for an appearance. No one else showed, so they performed for only me.



 27 Aug 

 

I dreamt I was attacked by Boardwalk Empire‘s George Remus, but our fight ended when he had a heart attack and collapsed at my feet.



 27 Aug 

 




I dreamt I was at the announcement of the discovery of new Apocrypha that would change everything, but woke before I learned the details.



 27 Aug 

 




(more…)