Life’s been strange lately, so it’s a bit late in the month for me to be gathering together the previous month’s dreams. But I’m doing it now anyway so I can see whether any theme’s been running through my subconscious.

As with most months, no, there isn’t one, but I still enjoy the exercise. And judging by the response, some of you do, too.

Last month, I dreamt of Jackie Onassis, Orson Welles, John Goodman, Raylan Givens … and Hitler!

Dream on!

December 2015

I dreamt Orson Welles caught up with me in a museum and said he wanted to follow me to study the way I talked. Which felt kind of insulting. 28 Dec


I dreamt I stopped at an old timey diner where the special of the day was fried sausage and banana. But sadly, I woke before I got a taste! 28 Dec

I dreamt that after a stray dog wandered my way, I decided to keep him. Which is so unlike me. Owning a living thing makes me uncomfortable. 28 Dec


I dreamt I bought a new house, but didn’t notice until we moved in that it was next to an abandoned apartment building overrun with ivy. 28 Dec


I dreamt I flew to NYC, but instead of landing at an airport, my plane touched down on an aircraft carrier floating in the Hudson River. 27 Dec


I dreamt a neighbor of mine was arrested, and from the back of the squad car, told us not to worry. And we promised to care for her things. 27 Dec


I dreamt that while driving I passed a car with a baby in the back. After smiling at it, I saw the driver was Hitler—in full Nazi garb! 27 Dec


I dreamt I snuck out of work for sushi, and while having my omakase, discovered my mother had gotten a job there, but was keeping it secret. 24 Dec

I dreamt I wandered a bustling (but unidentified) city in China looking for a particular dumpling house, but, alas, couldn’t find it. Sigh. 23 Dec


I dreamt I edited a science fiction magazine for new publisher J. J. Abrams. We were distressed to find pages out of order in the new issue! 22 Dec (more…)

It’s getting late in December for me to be looking back at November’s dreams, but hey, life sometimes works that way. Regardless of the delay, I still enjoy (and some of you seem to as well) seeing whether my surreal dreams as posted on Twitter make any more sense when gathered together on a monthly basis. So …

Last month, I dreamt of Will Smith, Peter Falk, Ron (not Ronald) Reagan, George Bush, Harlan Ellison … and perhaps some of you as well!

November 2015


Found a note I scribbled in the middle of the night describing a dream: CHINATOWN GANDALF. But too much time has passed. I remember nothing! Nov 30


I dreamt I was at a BBQ shack eating a rack of ribs which had been rolled in kernels of corn. And as I dug in, I thought: What a great idea! Nov 29


I dreamt @CraigEngler was in charge of making the next Muppets movie, and I was helping out by scripting the section that spoofed Star Wars. Nov 29


I dreamt my (late) father and I were in a hotel, and they sent a complimentary bottle of tequila to our room because it was his birthday.


I dreamt I forged documents for @EllenDatlow and @Cadigan — but now that I’m awake, I can’t remember what they were. Letters of transit? Nov 27


I dreamt I helped my (fictional) niece elope with her boyfriend, and when the rest of the family caught up with us, they were NOT happy. Nov 26


I dreamt I ran into my parents, young, in a Starbucks, and when I asked what they were doing there, Dad tried to answer, but instead cried. Nov 25


I dreamt I was Will Smith in the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air universe, and Uncle Phil was trying to convince me to go out for Little League. Nov 25

I dreamt I was on a gameshow with Jaye P. Morgan and Peter Falk. She spotted a phone number on his collar, so we called it. It was a lawyer. Nov 25


I dreamt I spotted a small plane drifting along on a parachute and chased it through a city. Turned out it was a TV station’s weather drone. Nov 24 (more…)

I never got around in October to harvesting all the dreams I had in September, so this post gathers two months of dreams which I’d previously shared on Twitter. I was so busy getting a new story written that I didn’t have time to do this before. Also, oddly, I think I had fewer dreams remembered the past two months that usual. Too much travel affecting my sleep, I guess.

In any case, let’s see whether these dreams gain any additional meaning from being gathered together this way, shall we? Last month, I dreamed of Stan Lee, Jay Lake, Robert Redford, Robert De Niro, John F. Kennedy, and more … and who knows? Maybe even you!

October 2015

I dreamt I chatted with 1960s’ Stan Lee, explaining to him the economics of kids buying comics. He was wondering how many we could afford. Oct 30

I dreamt I saw an ant inside carrying a tiny ant egg, so I smooshed it. Then I saw many, many others doing the same. So I smooshed them ALL. Oct 30

I dreamt that, at a mall, I came upon swing-dancing cosplayers. They were putting on a show to celebrate some (unknown) patriotic holiday. Oct 25

I dreamt my wife and son and I were swimming with sea lions, which was joyful, until we saw one chewing on a duck, which turned my stomach. Oct 25

I dreamt @BrianKeene was writing for the Flash TV show, and when I tossed out an idea, he suggested we should collaborate on a script. Oct 25

I dreamt I was sitting with Roz Chast and @RoseFox discussing “What’s the worst that could happen?” We were all being VERY pessimistic! Oct 24

I dreamt I wound up mechanized time bombs in the shape of small birds and set them to circling me and my parents. Woke before they exploded! Oct 24

I dreamt @IreneVartanoff and I were moving into an apartment at the same time the previous occupants were moving out. A confusion of boxes! Oct 22

I dreamt I bumped into @YvonneNavarro and @WestonOchse at a con, and we agreed to meet up on the way home in Annapolis. Why? I have no idea. Oct 22

I dreamt @EllenDatlow asked me from a panel if I’d read a certain book. I lied and said yes, so she pulled me onstage. Where I had to BS. Oct 21 (more…)

I took several trips last month, which meant my dream time took a hit, because I tend not to dream when I’m not sleeping in my own bed on a regular schedule. So this monthly gathering of dreams is fairly slight.

Still, in August, I did dream of Deadpool, Megan Draper, the Queen of England, and more.

Check it out below.

AUGUST 2015

I dreamt that as my wife and I walked along a river in London, we saw two unaccompanied women walking toward us … and one was the Queen! Aug 31

I dreamt I owned a tin toy plane from World War II, and was nervously carrying it around in a pristine original box to auction houses. Aug 31

I dreamt that as we sped down the highway, my wife and son kept taking over for one another behind the steering wheel, which terrified me. Aug 31

I dreamt a Nebula banquet was about to begin, and we all entered the room while singing “Give My Regards to Broadway.” (I have no idea why.) Aug 31

I dreamt I visited the Museum of Jurassic Technology with Walter Jon Williams. Woke before we got through the front door though, darn it! Aug 31

I dreamt I looked out into our front yard and noticed burial plots there, and wondered what I’d need to do to get permission for more. Aug 29

I dreamt I went to a writers workshop at a friends house and discovered a dealers room right in the midst of it, making it hard to workshop. Aug 29

I dreamt a friend of mine dated one of Peter Pan’s Lost Boys, and was worried the relationship wouldn’t work out. I tried to cheer him up. Aug 29

I dreamt Johnny Depp won an Oscar for Superman, and I sat around with friends arguing at great length over whether he really deserved it. Aug 18

I dreamt that while in the cosplay which IRL will be revealed Wednesday at #Sasquan, I ran into Bob Silverberg, who was suitably shocked. Aug 17 (more…)

It’s that time again!

Now that it’s August, I’m gathering my July dreams in a bushel to see what happens when they rub up against each other. There were fewer than usual last month, due to too much travel, which always interferes with my usual sleep cycles, and therefore my dreams.

In July, I dreamt of Amy Poehler, Nick Fury, L. Ron Hubbard, Jon Stewart, Estelle Getty, Cersei, and more!

July 2015

I dreamt I saw a skydiver tumble from the sky with a jumbled chute, and then get stuck in the spires of a KFC. People rushed to rescue him. Jul 31

I dreamt that during a conversation with @shunn, he’d keep falling asleep, and when he’d wake up he’d ask the same questions all over again. Jul 31

I dreamt I was reloading a hotel lobby fridge with cupcakes meant to be fed to local deer, and grew upset when people ate them themselves. Jul 31

I dreamt I was in Italy having dinner with my entire family, living and dead, except — my grandmothers had been replaced by Estelle Getty. Jul 30

I dreamt I was in a Providence parking garage with Paul Di Filippo and found boxes of papers I’d thought in storage packed into a parking spot. Jul 29

I dreamt we debated who to bring from an alternate universe with the interdimensional portal we’d invented. I said NO to David Hasselhoff! Jul 28

I dreamt I needed advice on a friend whose trustworthiness I was unable to gauge, and so turned to my close friend Amy Poehler for advice. Jul 27

I dreamt that after a decade working at @TheDailyShow, I was emptying my office and saying goodbye to Jon Stewart, doing shtick together. Jul 27

I dreamt I was the Flash — or at least had his superpowers. And used them to deal with speeding up the refinancing of my home mortgage. Jul 26

I dreamt I was in a spaceship with a full crew, and as we depressurized, I experienced the deaths of all of us over and over from each POV. Jul 25 (more…)

Yes, it’s that time again. June is no longer busting out all over, so it’s time to let all the Twitter dreams of that month rub up against each other to see whether that causes them to make more sense.

Last month, I dreamt of Jon Stewart, George R. R. Martin, Neil Patrick Harris, Sol Brodsky, and more …

June 2015

I dreamt I was in an episode of Game of Thrones which devolved into a table reading with a full orchestra nearby performing the soundtrack. Jun 30

I dreamt I gave my iPhone — with its front-facing camera activated — to a chimpanzee and watched him joyfully study himself for hours. Jun 29

I dreamt I ripped the covers off paperback books, taping them to other coverless paperback books. Why I was doing this … I have no idea. Jun 28

I dreamt I carried a HUGE sheet cake to a party, and it crumbled as I cradled it in my arms, turning into ammunition for a — FOOD FIGHT! Jun 28

I dreamt I made fruit salad with @Gachatz, which we then fed to a baby, who pulled pieces of fruit directly from our forks with tiny hands. Jun 27

I dreamt I arrived at a gaming venue but couldn’t find any other players, until after searching, found them getting stoned with Jon Stewart. Jun 27

I dreamt I dining at @NextRestaurant, and though I don’t remember the cuisine, dessert was the greatest Girl Scout Thin Mint cookie EVER. Jun 26

I dreamt my wife and I, wandering a small town, discovered a comics shop set to close the next day, filled with never-before-seen wonders. Jun 25

I dreamt I was in Australia, and while there, ran into an editor who suggested I apply for their newspaper’s open position as a food critic. Jun 25

I dreamt I was on a NYC train, my hands cupped and filled with many pounds of crispy bacon, on which the other passengers looked longingly. Jun 25 (more…)

It’s that time again! Another month is gone, so I’m gathering together all the dreams I shared on Twitter during May to see whether they make any more sense collected in one spot than they did individually.

Last month, I dreamt of Robert Silverberg, Bob Hope, H. P. Lovecraft, Elizabeth Taylor, Neil deGrasse Tyson, Joan Collins, and more …

MAY 2015

Napping, I dreamt I visited a shop that sold “pregnant” donuts — that is, donuts stuffed with other donuts’ donut holes. Make this real! May 31

I dreamt I searched for my wife while wearing an extremely lush and feathery chicken suit. Why? I have no idea. But I looked AMAZING. May 31

I dreamt I hosted a Worldcon room party, and served fresh churros. Kept worrying the hotel would shut me down because of the fryer, though. May 31

I dreamt I spotted my father through a crowd, and as we locked eyes, I thought: So it was all a mistake! He isn’t really dead! And we wept. May 31

I dreamt I checked my phone messages, and there was one from my wife shouting, “Wake up!” So I did. Her words, after all, are law. May 31

I dreamt my train was delayed because two pterodactyl-sized birds were battling on the tracks immediately in our path. So we had to wait. May 31

I dreamt I was a drunk Don Draper, sleeping it off on an office couch. When Bert Cooper invited me for lunch, and I knew it was to fire me. May 30

I dreamt a dog I was playing with smiled a human smile, only instead of being creepy, it was actually kind of endearing. May 30

I dreamt I was camping out with friends, but it quickly turned into a horror movie situation, as one by one they turned up dead. May 30

I dreamt I took part in a downhill bicycle race on a road along a mountainside. Things got so fast I was surprised I stayed on the road! May 30 (more…)

April’s over, and though it brought plenty of those April showers, it seemed to bring fewer dreams than most months. In fact, I didn’t wake with a remembered dream until the sixth of the month, which is unusual for me. Guess that birthday trip to Copenhagen really wore me out!

In any case, during the rest of April, I shared over on Twitter the dream appearances of Bill Murray, George R. R. Martin, Frank Frazetta, Tracy Morgan, Al Williamson, David Letterman … and the Hulk!

Here they are, collected in one place so their surreality may perhaps start making sense.

APRIL 2015

I dreamt I was at a crowded Comic-Con hotel, and the manager asked me, “Are you happy?” My answer was so complicated I woke while giving it. Apr 30

I dreamt I rode through city streets on a lawnmower which unfortunately ran out of gas … so I had to push it the rest of the way home. Apr 29

I dreamt @shunn and @chavoen left me in charge of their dog for some reason, and it took the entire weekend for me to gain her trust. Apr 29

I dreamt our cabbie got in an accident and then expected US to pay for his damage. Much arguing ensued, the police were called, and I woke. Apr 28

I dreamt I found myself walking behind @GRRMspeaking and @KevinStandlee, realized they were chatting privately, and so let them go on alone. Apr 27

I dreamt my Mom was dating again, and my Dad (dead 6+ years IRL) tossed me a pair of paints so I’d be dressed appropriately to meet the guy. Apr 26

I dreamt I planned to swim to an island in the middle of the Hudson with a group of friends to protest … something. But I don’t know what. Apr 26

I dreamt I brought chocolate-covered mushrooms to @tinytempest, who (in the dream) I knew had eaten them before and loved them. And we ate. Apr 26

I dreamt my wife handed me an antique violin, apparently anticipating I’d know how to play it. I couldn’t, of course — so I woke instead! Apr 26

I dreamt I bumped into Stephen Jones at a con and discovered — he’d gone blond! And now he looked like a John Constantine doppelgänger. Apr 24 (more…)

I know that what you’re really waiting for is my write-up on dinner at Noma, but I came back from Copenhagen under the weather, and my brain’s not ready for it yet. So instead, while I wait for my strength to return, here are the dreams I had last month, as originally shared over on Twitter.

Last month, I dreamt of Paul Newman, Stan Lee, Walter White, Fritz Leiber, and many others …

March 2015

I dreamt that while I was having dinner at @NextRestaurant, @Gachatz wandered through, recording us all for a documentary project of his. Mar 29

I dreamt that after helping Stan Lee sift through movie pitches in Brooklyn, I stepped out onto a dark McDonald Avenue and headed home. Mar 29

I dreamt my mother and I had an intense argument, only ending when she put out a lit cigarette on my arm. But she doesn’t smoke any more! Mar 27

I dreamt my father — long dead in real life — dug up all the plants in our garden and rearranged them, much to the annoyance of my wife. Mar 27

I dreamt I was in Italy with my grandmother — long dead in real life — who told me that my mother — still alive in real life — was dead. Mar 27

I dreamt old Paul Newman, natty in a three-piece suit, got all choked up while telling me he thought my mother, his friend, would die soon. Mar 26

I dreamt I picked up an old woman who was hitchhiking, and got completely lost while trying to get her to her destination. Apologies ensued. Mar 26

I dreamt that while tutoring a kid in a preschool I spotted stacks of extremely well-read early Marvels and ACGs. Made it hard to focus! Mar 26

I dreamt I was both a character on Walking Dead AND me at home watching it, reliving Rick dying over and over again as I kept rewinding. Mar 22

I dreamt I was wandering the perimeter of a vast pool, trying to find the clubhouse and then the exit so I could go home. I never did. Mar 22 (more…)

I’m just back from a whirlwind trip to Florida where, highly unusual for me, I remembered no dreams. But now that I’m home, it’s time to gather up the February dreams I shared on Twitter and see what meaning can be found when they’re together.

Last month, my dreams included Taylor Swift, Jesse Ventura, Hugh Laurie, Ian McKellen, Andy Kaufman, and … who knows … maybe you!

February 2015

Here’s a dream I lost because my middle-of-the-night note now makes no sense: BIG FAT BOOK PEN NAME MARGE – ? SEPARATED FROM BKLYN FRIENDS. Feb 28

I dreamt Harlan Ellison for some dream reason I don’t understand autographed one of @Cadigan‘s books to me, and scribbled a note to my wife. Feb 28

I dreamt I was with Dennis Etchison laughing about the time I shaved my head in the middle of a previous con (which BTW never happened IRL). Feb 28

I dreamt I was at the end of dinner at @VOLT_RANGE, and couldn’t wait to see what desserts @bttrlovehardwrk had waiting. I must be hungry! Feb 27

I dreamt I wandered a hotel that supposedly hosted the World Horror Con, but all I could find were cult members in brightly colored robes. Feb 27

I dreamt I was visiting with my parents, whose house was now immediately next to Disneyland. Meaning — right across the street! What fun! Feb 27

I dreamt @mrbelm and @rosefox visited, and while they were in my basement, I ran up and down bringing them snacks. But — Vegan cheese? Feb 27

I dreamt that while at Worldcon, I bumped into Rudy Giuliani. Weirdly, he was dressed like a hippie — paisley, long hair, love beads, etc.! Feb 27

I dreamt I visited my doctor, portrayed Portlandia-style by Fred Armisen, then I couldn’t go! He kept blocking me from leaving his office. Feb 26

I dreamt I got a call a neighbor was in trouble, looked outside, and spotted her crawling through the snow. I helped her in, phoned 911. Feb 26 (more…)