My Readercon Thursday began with a road trip, and so did my Readercon Friday. Only this time I wasn’t heading toward the con, I was headed toward … durian!

Along with David Shaw and Josh Jasper, I drove over to H Mart at 9:30 a.m. to pick up more of that noxious fruit to serve Friday night to those with adventurous palates. (And if you don’t know from durian, you can read about a previous planned adventure here and its aftermath here.)

But a durian alone was not enough … because upon discovering that H Mart also sold jackfruit, I bought one of those as well. After all, you want a palate cleanser after eating a durian, don’t you?

We returned from our adventure just in time for the 10:00 a.m. panel, “The Readercon Classic Nonfiction Book Club: The Jewel-Hinged Jaw,” with Matthew Cheney, Elizabeth Hand (who moderated), David G. Hartwell, Donald G. Keller, and Barry N. Malzberg. And just because you weren’t there doesn’t mean you can’t be there now, via the video below.

Next came my own 11:00 a.m. panel, “Writing Within Constraints,” which I should have had someone record, just so you could hear all the talk of zombie penises (thanks to my bringing up of the subject), which spread through the panel like a meme. (more…)

As per usual for me and Readercon, my Readercon experience didn’t begin at Readercon. Instead of flying to Boston and bussing it to Burlington, I flew to Providence for a morning with Paul Di Filippo and Deb Newton, which this year also meant some pre-con time with Liz Hand and Michael Dirda. We got a tour of the new Di Filippo/Newton castle and ate a Chinese/Thai lunch before heading out mid-afternoon.

Because programming wasn’t starting until 8:00 p.m., the afternoon and evening was spent in the usual lobby schmoozing followed by a massive dinner for 15 with me and Liz at the heads of the table (though I guess one of us was really the foot) and 13 others between us, including Howard Waldrop, Rose Fox, John Clute, Graham Sleight and many others.

But then—a quandary. My 9:00 p.m. reading was scheduled against one of the two panels I most wanted to see at the con, “The Influence of the Scott Meredith Literary Agency.” Luckily, there was a solution. I decided my iPhone had a sufficient microphone to record me reading solo, and yielded over my Flip camera to Paul Di Filippo so he could record the Meredith panel. Which meant I could be in two places at once.

And now, you can also be in two places at once.

So first, here’s my reading of “Things That Never Happened,” which will be out later this year or early next in an issue of Postscripts.

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A few final tweaks have been made to my schedule for Readercon 22, which will be held July 14-17 in Burlington, Massachusetts. My reading has been pushed back an hour, meaning more of you might make it since it’s no longer the first item on the schedule Thurday, plus I’m going to take part in the Wold Newton Reading Extravaganza, where I’ll be declaiming Mark Twain’s “The War Prayer” in honor of this year’s dead Guest of Honor.

Here’s the revised schedule:

Reading
Thursday, July 14
9:00 p.m. NH
Edelman reads “Things That Never Happened,” a short story to be published in Postscripts magazine. [Since my reading will be one of the first things that occurs when the con starts at 8:00 p.m. on a Thursday night, I expect a low turnaround. So don’t disappoint me by showing up!]

Writing Within Constraints
Friday, July 15
12:00 p.m. RI
with Elaine Isaak, Michael Aondo-verr Kombol, John Langan, David Malki (leader), and Madeleine Robins
Whether it’s writing on a theme for an anthology, writing on assignment or commission, or simply imposing rules to jump-start your creativity, writing within constraints can be an incredible way to defeat “the tyranny of the blank page.” We discuss the rewards and challenges of starting with someone else’s idea.

Wold Newton Reading Extravaganza: Special Readercon Edition
Saturday, July 16
7:00 PM F
with Matthew Cheney, Theodora Goss, John Kessel, Eric Rosenfield (moderator), Delia Sherman. Eric Rosenfield and Brian Francis Slattery
The Wold Newton Reading Extravaganza Series will be orchestrating an INCREDIBLY FANCY SONIC ART EXPERIMENT consisting of ESTEEMED LITERARY PERSONAGES reading prose, poetry, criticism, and other TEXTUAL OBJECTS in short bursts one after another accompanied by LIVE, IMPROVISED MUSIC. The intent is to create a kind of unbroken MOSAIC of what Readercon FEELS LIKE. Come witness our spectacular SUCCESS and/or FAILURE.

The Shirley Jackson Awards
Sunday, July 17
11:00 a.m. G
In recognition of the legacy of Shirley Jackson’s writing, and with permission of the author’s estate, the Shirley Jackson Awards have been established for outstanding achievement in the literature of psychological suspense, horror, and the dark fantastic. Jackson (1916-1965) wrote such classic novels as The Haunting of Hill House and We Have Always Lived in the Castle, as well as one of the most famous short stories in the English language, “The Lottery.” Her work continues to be a major influence on writers of every kind of fiction, from the most traditional genre offerings to the most innovative literary work. The awards given in her name have been voted upon by a jury of professional writers, editors, critics, and academics, with input from a Board of Advisors, for the best work published in the calendar year of 2010 in the following categories: Novel, Novella, Novelette, Short Story, Single-Author Collection, and Edited Anthology. [Well, that’s how the con describes the Shirley Jackson Awards. The way I think of it—this is the hour during which I’ll learn which other writer’s collection has beaten What Will Come After in the Single-Author Collection category. Because since I’m up against Laird Barron, Stephen Graham Jones, Jeff VanderMeer, and Karen Joy Fowler … well .. let’s just say I’m won’t be bothering to write an acceptance speech.]

Kaffeeklatsch
Sunday, July 17
12:00 a.m. Vin
with James Morrow

See you in a dozen days!

Looks like “Things That Never Happened,” a short story of mine which will be published soon in Postscripts magazine, won’t be the only bit of fiction I’ll be reading at Readercon this year. I’ll also tackle Mark Twain’s famous short story “The War Prayer.”

How did this come about? Blame Eric Rosenfield, he of the Wold Newton Reading Extravaganza. I’ve been invited to take part in a special edition of that reading series, to be held before the Kirk Poland Memorial Bad Prose Competition.

Let Eric explain:

Saturday July 16th, before the annual Kirk Poland Memorial Bad Prose Competition, Wold Newton will be engaging in an INCREDIBLY FANCY SONIC ART EXPERIMENT consisting of ESTEEMED LITERARY PERSONAGES (yes, YOU), reading prose, poetry, criticism or anything else you want, in short bursts one after another accompanied by LIVE, IMPROVISED MUSIC. The goal is to create a kind of unbroken MOSAIC of what ReaderCon FEELS LIKE.

To that end, I am inviting YOU ALL, should you choose to accept it, to READ for approximately FOUR MINUTES apiece. You may read ANYTHING YOU
HAVE WRITTEN, in ANY GENRE, FORM or MODE. You may also DANCE or SING or MAKE A GENERAL RUCKUS as you see fit. You may also DISCUSS WITH multitalented musical maestro Brian Francis Slattery what sort of musical musicness you would like to accompany YOU.

Rather than toot my own horn, I’ve decided to honor this year’s Memorial Guest of Honor, Mark Twain.

I last read “The War Prayer” aloud in high school during the Vietnam War. Seems like it’s about time to do it again!

Once I made my mind up that I’d be attending last weekend’s Stoker Awards banquet, I decided to bookend the event with two unrelated lunches—one on Thursday with the Junior High School drama teacher who changed my life, the other on Sunday with Mirthful Marie Severin, with whom I worked a lifetime ago in the Marvel Comics Bullpen. But I ended up spontaneously having another lunch that had absolutely nothing to do with the Stokers, and for that I blame Jeff Strand.

Jeff had joined me in Austin at the Salt Lick as I attempted to recreate an episode of Man v. Food, and is now hooked on the show, so he joined me again—this time with his wife Lynne Hansen and friend Sally Bosco—as I worked my through a Long Island Man v. Food quest, visiting Ciao Baby and the International Delight Cafe. And during dinner Friday night, we swapped stories of our favorite restaurants, which of course led me to talking about Shopsins. That’s Shopsins of the infamous rules and the dizzying, ever-changing menu, where I’ve eaten (among other things) brisket in cherry gravy and slutty cakes (that is, pumpkin, peanut butter, and pistachio pancakes).

Surprisingly, I began to fall in love with Shopsins not by eating there, but from the documentary I Like Killing Flies, which I watched on a whim on IFC. And as soon as I saw it, I thought, this sounds like my kind of place.

Here are a couple of clips from the documentary that’ll give you an idea of the tone of the restaurant and the personality of owner Kenny Shopsin.

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Readercon 22 will be held July 14-17 in Burlington, Massachusetts, and not only is it the 22nd Readercon, it’s MY 22nd Readercon. Yes, that’s right. I’ve attended every one since the first in 1987. It’s long been my favorite convention.

One way I know it that is my review of this year’s supposedly final program reveals there’ll be several dozen panels, readings, and presentations I want to attend, a bounty which never happens at any other con—and which would require me stepping into a chrono-synclastic infundibulum to pull off.

So until I can go through the grid and nail down my first choices for those hours when I wish I could be in two places at once, the only programming I’m 100% sure you’ll be able to find me at is my own.

Which is …

Reading
Thursday, July 14
8:00 p.m. NH
Edelman reads “Things That Never Happened,” a short story to be published in Postscripts magazine. [Since my reading will be one of the first things that occurs when the con starts at 8:00 p.m. on a Thursday night, I expect a low turnaround. So don’t disappoint me by showing up!]

Writing Within Constraints
Friday, July 15
12:00 p.m. RI
with Elaine Isaak, Michael Aondo-verr Kombol, John Langan, David Malki (leader), and Madeleine Robins
Whether it’s writing on a theme for an anthology, writing on assignment or commission, or simply imposing rules to jump-start your creativity, writing within constraints can be an incredible way to defeat “the tyranny of the blank page.” We discuss the rewards and challenges of starting with someone else’s idea.

The Shirley Jackson Awards
Sunday, July 17
11:00 a.m. G
In recognition of the legacy of Shirley Jackson’s writing, and with permission of the author’s estate, the Shirley Jackson Awards have been established for outstanding achievement in the literature of psychological suspense, horror, and the dark fantastic. Jackson (1916-1965) wrote such classic novels as The Haunting of Hill House and We Have Always Lived in the Castle, as well as one of the most famous short stories in the English language, “The Lottery.” Her work continues to be a major influence on writers of every kind of fiction, from the most traditional genre offerings to the most innovative literary work. The awards given in her name have been voted upon by a jury of professional writers, editors, critics, and academics, with input from a Board of Advisors, for the best work published in the calendar year of 2010 in the following categories: Novel, Novella, Novelette, Short Story, Single-Author Collection, and Edited Anthology. [Well, that’s how the con describes the Shirley Jackson Awards. The way I think of it—this is the hour during which I’ll learn which other writer’s collection has beaten What Will Come After in the Single-Author Collection category. Because since I’m up against Laird Barron, Stephen Graham Jones, Jeff VanderMeer, and Karen Joy Fowler … well .. let’s just say I’m won’t be bothering to write an acceptance speech.]

Kaffeeklatsch
Sunday, July 17
12:00 a.m. Vin
with James Morrow

See you in three weeks!

Since I’ve yet to survive June’s Stoker Awards weekend, or July’s Readercon or San Diego Comic-Con, it seems a bit early to be thinking of August and the World Science Fiction Convention. But luckily, the Renovation committee has been doing that thinking for me.

So here’s where you’ll be able to find me in Reno two months from now. This is only the list of panels, though—readings, autographings, and other solo events are still to come.

Will Eisner: Pioneering Comics Genius
Thursday, August 18, 12:00-13:00
with Tom Galloway and Stu Shiffman

Fantasy and Horror in the New Century
What to look for and where to find on the darker side of literature
Saturday, August 20, 11:00-12:00
with John Joseph Adams, Susan T. Casper, Ellen Datlow, and Nick Mamatas

Giving and Receiving Critiques
Many writers participate in writers workshops, but it can be difficult, especially for new writers, to give critiques helpfully and receive critiques gracefully. Experienced workshoppers discuss techniques for critiques.
Saturday, August 20, 12:00-13:00
with Margaret Fisk , Daniel Abraham , Sheila Finch and Tim Pratt

Crisis Fatigue: The Pros and Cons of Cross-book Universe-changing Comic Epics
Almost every year, it seems, the comics world has a major multibook crisis/civil war/semi-reboot. Is it overused? Does it bring in new readers or deter them?
Saturday, August 20 17:00 – 18:00
with Tom Galloway, Lenny Bailes and Brenda W. Clough

Considering what’s going on in the world of DC Comics at the moment, the timing of that last panel couldn’t be better.

See you all in Reno—and at three other cons first!

Balticon 45 ran from Friday through Monday, but as usual for this local con, I only attended for a single day, Saturday. But on that day, I managed to squeeze in three panels, a reading, an autograph session, and on top of that—a durian feast!

My 1:00 p.m. panel, “Fantastic Books Presents,” was hosted by Ian Randal Strock, owner of (you guessed it) Fantastic Books, which published my collection of science fiction short stories, What We Still Talk About. While Ian explained why he does what he does, a few of his authors (me, Walter H. Hunt, and Daniel Kimmel) talked up our books, and actually managed to sell a few copies.

At 2:30, I read my short story “Goobers,” which originally appeared in The Book of More Flesh and was collected in my all-zombie collection What Will Come After. You were probably not there, but in case you wish you were, my performance has been preserved below.

Immediately following my reading, I rushed to the 3:00 p.m. panel, “Name-Droppers,” during which I was supposed to talk about my “personal contacts with the field’s departed giants,” along with Michael Swanwick and Ian Randal Strock. I shared anecdotes about my early encounters with Gordon Dickson, Nelson Bond, and Ted Sturgeon, while Michael talked about R. A. Lafferty and Ian discussed meeting Isaac Asimov. But mentioning only the dead turned out to be a bit depressing, so we moved on to sharing our stories of the living, too. (Including an extremely embarrassing encounter I had with Chip Delany when I was only 17.) (more…)

When I arrive at Balticon tomorrow, I will be bearing two durian with me. If you’re not familiar with this exotic fruit, you should know that it is banned on public transportation and in many hotels in Singapore, ingesting one has been described as like “eating custard in a sewer,” and I’ve read that, “You can kill a person by throwing a durian at his head. It’s just like a ball of spikes.”

Take a look at a boy and his durian. You’ll note that due to those lethal spikes, I’m holding it with a leather glove.

What else do you need to know about durian? How about the fact that it has thrice defeated Andrew Zimmern, the host of Bizarre Foods, eater of everything from lamprey to bats to stinky tofu? Check out one of his failures below.

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I had a wonderful time at the Nebulas last weekend, which I guess is kind of redundant, since I always have a wonderful time at the Nebulas. I missed last year’s, which were held in Florida, the first I’d skipped in about 20 years, because with two international trips planned for 2010—World Horror in Brighton and Worldcon in Melbourne—something had to give. So I was glad this year’s Nebula weekend was being held in my backyard.

Well, sort of my backyard. The Washington Hilton was 100 miles away, but that was close enough to make it feel local. So I hopped in the car mid-afternoon and drove to D.C., always a hellish thing to do. Once I parked and checked in, the first members of the tribe I found were a group in the bar which included Myke Cole, John Joseph Adams, and a guy I’d never met before who was scribbling away in a sketchpad. I commented that his drawings reminded me of the art of Basil Wolverton, and he was astonished, because he loves Basil Wolverton, and no one had ever caught on to that resemblance before. (Guess having been into comics since I was a bean has its advantages.)

Turns out I was talking to Barry Deutsch, who was nominated for this year’s Andre Norton Award for Hereville: How Mirka Got Her Sword.

We had a good, long talk about artists most modern comics fans don’t remember, such as Lou Fine and Reed Crandall, and I pulled out my iPad to show him the Eisner-esque Joe Kubert comic Jew Gangster. Meeting someone new who was also entertaining was a nice way to start the weekend.

Next it was off to dinner with John Kessel, Liza Groen Trombi, Paolo Bacigalupi, and John Joseph Adams. We went to Meskerem, an Ethiopian restaurant, which happened to be JJA’s first time with that cuisine, resulting in a lot of teasing.

The fact that an Ethiopian virgin was present led to us discussing other exotic foods, such as the guinea pig I’d had in Quito and the durian Paolo had eaten. A warning: One result of that discussion is that I’ll be bringing durian to Balticon Saturday, which Paolo and I will crack open and share with the masses. So if you’re there, and are adventurous, make sure you’re watching me on Twitter so you hear the call!

When we returned to the hotel, I happened to be discussing Michael Blumlein with John Kessel and Paul Park when the strangest moment of the weekend occurred. A woman in the lobby who had nothing at all to do with the Nebulas perked up at the mention of Blumlein’s name. It turned out that her sister is married to his brother! We chatted a bit, which might not have been such a good thing. I hope we didn’t lower Michael in her eyes by the mere fact of our knowing him!

Then came the evening reception to honor the nominees. You should have been there! Well, actually, you can be there, since I was there, and I happen to be a dangerous guy with a Flip camera. So here’s SFWA President John Scalzi, aided by Steven Silver, handing out certificates and pins to those finalists who were present. (more…)