Have you heard the news? The Science Fiction and Fantasy writers of America has decided to change its membership requirements.

That’s right—as announced yesterday by Patrick Nielsen Hayden, in order to gain or retain SFWA membership, you’ll have to appear in at least two of my dreams!

Don’t believe me? Then check out Patrick’s tweeted revelation below:

Which made me realize it was important for me to prepare a dream census to help guide SFWA’s officials in their new mandate. So below is a list of every person, real or fictional, who has appeared in the dreams I’ve reported to you since beginning to relate them on both LiveJournal and Twitter. You can find them all collected here.

So let’s see—who has visited those dreams more than twice? Who gets into SFWA? Following are all my nighttime visitors, with those who’ve appeared more than once bolded and having the number of visits after their names. (more…)

Based on what I’ve seen from my other online friends, I seem to dream more than the usual amount. I sometimes tweet about two, three, even four dreams a day over on Twitter.

I shared my Twitter dreams from October through December with you last week, and you can find my March through September tweet dreams, back to the beginning of my account, below.

Why am I collecting these all here today? Blame Patrick Nielsen Hayden. It’s all his fault. And if you don’t know what that means, you’ll just have to wait for my next LJ entry to find out!

dreamt I was held hostage by Amy Poehler from Baby Mama and Woody Harrelson from Natural Born Killers. I escaped, but I can’t remember how. 7:58 AM Sep 28th, 2009

dreamt I was on a train with Paul Di Filippo, and when we looked out the window, instead of stars, the sky was filled with cherry tomatoes. 7:24 AM Sep 26th, 2009 from web

dreamt I played both tour guide and bodyguard to Vladimir Putin as we wandered a dealers room. He seemed particularly interested in artwork. 7:53 AM Sep 25th, 2009 from web

dreamt I stepped aboard a docked Lindblad cruise ship to ask someone a question only for it to take off with no announcement and me on it. 6:42 AM Sep 19th, 2009 from web

dreamt that Stan Lee and Marie Severin dropped by for a visit and ended up spending the night. Don’t worry–the guest room had double beds. 6:33 AM Sep 19th, 2009 from web

dreamt I woke in the Sovereign Media storeroom among mags which don’t really exist, including ones devoted to Doc Savage and Marvel Comics. 8:51 AM Sep 17th, 2009 from web

dreamt I was planning an exotic vacation with Chuck’s sister and jerk brother-in-law. I couldn’t have been planning it with Chuck and Sarah? 7:57 AM Sep 13th, 2009

dreamt I was on a lively creative writing panel with Nancy Kress during which I tweeted John Kessel about meeting for the pre-Hugos party. 7:07 AM Sep 12th, 2009

dreamt I saw Jack Williamson alive and walking into my local supermarket, but it didn’t seem odd at all so we didn’t bother to speak. 7:26 AM Sep 9th, 2009

dreamt I was at DC while a LeRoy Neiman portrait of Jim Steranko was unveiled. The weird thing? Paul Levitz was dressed like Green Lantern. 8:34 AM Sep 5th, 2009

dreamt it was Irene’s and my 33rd wedding anniversary. Hey! Hold it right there. I _didn’t_ dream it! It _is_ our 33rd wedding anniversary! 8:12 AM Sep 4th, 2009

dreamt I was 98 years old, and my doctor wanted to prescribe me antidepressants. “Doc,” I said. “I’m not depressed — I’m 98 years old!” 8:01 AM Sep 4th, 2009 (more…)

I dreamt I was in one corner of a busy con suite, banging away at a toy typewriter while Bill Shunn watched me and other writers waited their turn to use it. It was a pretty crappy toy typewriter, plastic instead of metal. The keys were of a solid piece with the body, so that they didn’t move when you hit them. The platen was fused into the rest of the machine so that it didn’t return, and there wasn’t even room to fit in a sheet of paper. So it almost looked like a fake you’d find in a furniture store to stand in for a real typewriter in a pretend office.

Bill asked me whether I wasn’t wasting my time banging away at a machine like that.

And I told him no, not really. It didn’t matter whether I was leaving any evidence of what I was writing there in front of us, because I knew that whether or not I had a record, somewhere in the world, someone I didn’t know was seeing my words appear in front of them. That was all that mattered. And I went back to typing.

Now there’s a dream that’s easy to interpret!

A note about my dreams in general, for those of you who follow them: When I wake from a dream in the middle of the night, I’ll scribble down a few words, sometimes only two or three, as a tickler. For example, with this dream, I scrawled, “Bill Shunn waste time plastic toy platen.” Then I’ll go back to sleep. And when I wake, I sometimes don’t even remember whether I’d had a dream or not. Until I look at the notepad. And when I read those few words, the entire dream comes rushing back.

Is it that way for any of you?

In recent entries of Roger Ebert’s Answer Man column—on December 9 and December 23—he tackled the rumor that Jack Benny had an uncredited cameo in Casablanca. While addressing various claims, such as the fact that one Benny fan-site stated that the Casablanca press kit verifies the fact, Ebert responded, “I think you’re right.”

I’d never heard this before, and didn’t dig out my old VHS tape to check, but based on a few minutes searching online, I found a newspaper ad placed by a Florida theater that confirms this appearance—because it gave away a free pass to any theater patron who could spot Benny.

Check out this ad below taken from the February 4, 1943 issue of the St. Petersburg, Florida Evening Independent.

Ah, the wonders of the intertubes!

So I guess it’s true! Who knew?

I have quite a vivid dream life, usually remembering two-three dreams each night. I’ve been sharing the ones that can be explained briefly both on twitter and facebook.

But since twitter is ephemeral, I thought I’d gather my tweet dreams together in one place, both out of a fear that they might fade, and to see if there’s any overarching theme. So here are three months worth of them in reverse chronological order. I already knew that many of you in the science fiction, fantasy, and horror communities had starring roles in my dreams. But what I didn’t realize was how many of the dreams I’d already forgotten.

Looking at these, I have a feeling that I’ll someday do something more formal with them. But for now, just seeing them in one place is satisfying enough.

Welcome to my subconscious!

I dreamt I was in a railway station discussing the print histories of Dune and LOTR with Cheryl Morgan as ancient steam engines roared by. 7:41 AM Dec 31st, 2009

I can’t believe I dreamt I was driving while explaining SCI FI Wire’s Moveable Type system to my bored passengers. I need to get out more. 8:10 AM Dec 30th, 2009

I dreamt I was at an awards banquet, polling my friends as to whether or not I should shave my head. But I woke while tallying the votes! 7:56 AM Dec 29th, 2009

I dreamt I was reading the nonexistent The Complete Jules Feiffer, which contained thumbnails for comics I _know_ he had nothing to do with. 7:57 AM Dec 28th, 2009

I dreamt I could play the guitar, but when I tried to sing along, I couldn’t recall the lyrics to a single song. But the music was amazing. 8:38 AM Dec 27th, 2009

I dreamt I was at a con dinner for ten (including Jenn Reese and Karen Meisner) in Australia. A ladybug crawled on Karen, who didn’t mind. 8:26 AM Dec 25th, 2009

I dreamt I was in a corrupt Third World country trying (and failing) to convince rebel leaders to cooperate with the church, and vice versa. 8:20 AM Dec 25th, 2009

I dreamt that a strange insect, half stick bug, half praying mantis, had gotten into the house, and we were having a staring contest. I won. 7:35 AM Dec 24th, 2009

I dreamt I was visiting with Paul Di Filippo and preparing to eat at Prosciutto’s, an all-prosciutto restaurant that exists only in dream. 7:33 AM Dec 24th, 2009

I dreamt I was wandering NY with Irene Gallo while describing the new mag I intended to publish, one with a different format for each issue. 7:29 AM Dec 24th, 2009 (more…)

Irene and I have turned into LPs today—we are now 33 1/3. To translate that, we were married on September 4, 1976, which means that as of today, January 4, 2010, we’ve been married 33 years and four months.

Here we are many, many (many, many) years ago on that date in a photo taken in Irene’s Mom’s backyard in Bethesda. This is the photo that has resided in my wallet ever since that life-changing event.

Irene and I will celebrate the day by locking ourselves in our respective offices and working like dogs, occasionally blowing kisses up and down the stairs.

Yesterday, Irene and I attended a “2010: Odyssey Two Party” at the home of Risa and Sandy Stewart over in Rockville, Maryland. Also in attendance were Karen and Charlie Newton, Rosie Smith and John Naman, Sharon Patry, Todd Supple, and Kathy Waldbauer (all of whom we’d seen only six days earlier at the season’s previous holiday party), plus Tom Doyle, Beth Delaney, Bud Sparhawk, Kyle and Monica McAbee, Martin Wooster, Richard Waldrop, Julia Duncan, Hannah Waldrop, Brick Barrientos, and my sister-in-law Ellen Vartanoff.

I’m sure I’ve left some names out—if you’re one of them, sorry!

If you know any of the folks above, you also know that science fiction and comics made up the major part of the conversation. Among the many topics discussed were the weird comics of Fletcher Hanks, our worst convention hotel experiences (for me, it was the 1997 World Horror Convention at the Days Inn Niagara Falls), foreign editions of Tarzan comics, what degree of the credit that Stan Lee got for the early days of Marvel was undeserved, our favorite Ray Bradbury stories (I listed “The Picasso Summer,” “The Flying Machine,” and “The Toynbee Convector”), that night’s Doctor Who regeneration, our border-crossing war stories from attending international conventions, and more.

I spent so much time in intense conversation that I didn’t take many pictures. Here’s one of the few I did take (or should I say, one I had someone else take) with Monica McAbee. We’re both wearing the deeley-bobbers the Stewarts provided to add to the inarguable sci-fi nature of any 2010 holiday celebration.

And then today, Irene and I attended yet another party, this one a surprise 40th birthday party that also had a holiday feel to it. That makes four such events in the past three weeks. As much fun as they are, can we stop now? If we don’t, I’ll never get my new short story done—and we’ll never get the last of the back acreage cleared!

So next week, it will be just me, Irene, our computers, and a chainsaw, the way God intended!

Yesterday, Irene and I attended a “2010: Odyssey Two Party” at the home of Risa and Sandy Stewart over in Rockville, Maryland. Also in attendance were Karen and Charlie Newton, Rosie Smith and John Naman, Sharon Patry, Todd Supple, and Kathy Waldbauer (all of whom we’d seen only six days earlier at the season’s previous holiday party), plus Tom Doyle, Beth Delaney, Bud Sparhawk, Kyle and Monica McAbee, Martin Wooster, Richard Waldrop, Julia Duncan, Hannah Waldrop, Brick Barrientos, and my sister-in-law Ellen Vartanoff.

I’m sure I’ve left some names out—if you’re one of them, sorry!

If you know any of the folks above, you also know that science fiction and comics made up the major part of the conversation. Among the many topics discussed were the weird comics of Fletcher Hanks, our worst convention hotel experiences (for me, it was the 1997 World Horror Convention at the Days Inn Niagara Falls), foreign editions of Tarzan comics, what degree of the credit that Stan Lee got for the early days of Marvel was undeserved, our favorite Ray Bradbury stories (I listed “The Picasso Summer,” “The Flying Machine,” and “The Toynbee Convector”), that night’s Doctor Who regeneration, our border-crossing war stories from attending international conventions, and more.

I spent so much time in intense conversation that I didn’t take many pictures. Here’s one of the few I did take (or should I say, one I had someone else take) with Monica McAbee. We’re both wearing the deeley-bobbers the Stewarts provided to add to the inarguable sci-fi nature of any 2010 holiday celebration.

And then today, Irene and I attended yet another party, this one a surprise 40th birthday party that also had a holiday feel to it. That makes four such events in the past three weeks. As much fun as they are, can we stop now? If we don’t, I’ll never get my new short story done—and we’ll never get the last of the back acreage cleared!

So next week, it will be just me, Irene, our computers, and a chainsaw, the way God intended!

I guess the organizers of the upcoming World Horror Convention (which this year incorporates the Stoker Awards ceremony) never rest, because I received an e-mail from them this morning laying out my programming for the weekend of March 25-28. And since they’re sending me con info on New Year’s Day, then I guess I’d better blog about it on New Year’s Day, too. We wouldn’t want those Brits to think the members of the U.S. horror contingent were lazy, would we?

So—if you make it to Brighton, here’s where you’ll be able to find me. (Well, officially find me, anyway, as I’m never too hard to find whether I’m on a panel or not.)

The Walking Dead vs. The Undead: Are Zombies the New Vampires?
Thursday, March 25
3:00 p.m.-4:00 p.m., Russell
Once upon a time bloodsuckers proliferated, but now the walking dead are the “hot” monsters in books and movies. Is it just a passing fad, or is the zombie revival here to stay? (I’ll be moderating this one.)

Who Cares What You Think? Do Reviews and Blogging Really Matter?
Thursday, March 25
9:00 p.m.–10:00 p.m., Russell
Now that anybody can post a personal “review” on Amazon, or have their own blog where they can pontificate about anything they want, have we lost the critical acumen when it comes to reviewing books and movies?

PS Publishing Launch Party
Friday, March 26
5:00 p.m.-6:00 p.m., Bar Rogue
Peter Crowther’s PS Publishing launches new collections by David Case and Basil Copper (both edited by Stephen Jones) and Scott Edelman, with illustrators Randy Broecker, Dave Carson, Les Edwards, Bob Eggleton and Allen Koszowski.

That’s the the cover to my collection below, with art by the incomparable Les Edwards.

Should you feel in the mood, you can preorder it here.

The Writers Groups From Hell held its annual white elephant holiday gift exchange party yesterday. I was one of the founding members of the critiquing group back in 1989, when it didn’t yet have a name, and I had to drop out when Science Fiction Age took over my life. But each year, all members, both current and past, gather together to unload unwanted, unneeded, and unnecessary gifts on each other.

Over good food and drink, I learned things about my friends I never knew before—such as Sharon Patry’s misspent youth artificially inseminating rabbits. I’d share other unsavory anecdotes, but then I’d have to mark this entry NSFW, and we don’t want to go there, do we?

Here I am with Mindy Klasky, while Fred Gooding looks on from the background.

To see who else turned up, check out my flickr set.

And to see how well (or poorly) we’re aging, here are the holiday photos from 2007.