Looks like “Things That Never Happened,” a short story of mine which will be published soon in Postscripts magazine, won’t be the only bit of fiction I’ll be reading at Readercon this year. I’ll also tackle Mark Twain’s famous short story “The War Prayer.”

How did this come about? Blame Eric Rosenfield, he of the Wold Newton Reading Extravaganza. I’ve been invited to take part in a special edition of that reading series, to be held before the Kirk Poland Memorial Bad Prose Competition.

Let Eric explain:

Saturday July 16th, before the annual Kirk Poland Memorial Bad Prose Competition, Wold Newton will be engaging in an INCREDIBLY FANCY SONIC ART EXPERIMENT consisting of ESTEEMED LITERARY PERSONAGES (yes, YOU), reading prose, poetry, criticism or anything else you want, in short bursts one after another accompanied by LIVE, IMPROVISED MUSIC. The goal is to create a kind of unbroken MOSAIC of what ReaderCon FEELS LIKE.

To that end, I am inviting YOU ALL, should you choose to accept it, to READ for approximately FOUR MINUTES apiece. You may read ANYTHING YOU
HAVE WRITTEN, in ANY GENRE, FORM or MODE. You may also DANCE or SING or MAKE A GENERAL RUCKUS as you see fit. You may also DISCUSS WITH multitalented musical maestro Brian Francis Slattery what sort of musical musicness you would like to accompany YOU.

Rather than toot my own horn, I’ve decided to honor this year’s Memorial Guest of Honor, Mark Twain.

I last read “The War Prayer” aloud in high school during the Vietnam War. Seems like it’s about time to do it again!

Whispers was one of the most respected horror magazines of the ’70s and ’80s, and I always hoped I’d someday submit something that would be found acceptable by editor and publisher Stuart David Schiff. Unfortunately, as with so many other wonderful magazines, Whispers ran out of somedays.

The story Stu passed on, “The Man Who Would Be Vampire,” was eventually purchased by Crispin Burnham and published in a 1988 issue of Eldritch Tales.

Once I made my mind up that I’d be attending last weekend’s Stoker Awards banquet, I decided to bookend the event with two unrelated lunches—one on Thursday with the Junior High School drama teacher who changed my life, the other on Sunday with Mirthful Marie Severin, with whom I worked a lifetime ago in the Marvel Comics Bullpen. But I ended up spontaneously having another lunch that had absolutely nothing to do with the Stokers, and for that I blame Jeff Strand.

Jeff had joined me in Austin at the Salt Lick as I attempted to recreate an episode of Man v. Food, and is now hooked on the show, so he joined me again—this time with his wife Lynne Hansen and friend Sally Bosco—as I worked my through a Long Island Man v. Food quest, visiting Ciao Baby and the International Delight Cafe. And during dinner Friday night, we swapped stories of our favorite restaurants, which of course led me to talking about Shopsins. That’s Shopsins of the infamous rules and the dizzying, ever-changing menu, where I’ve eaten (among other things) brisket in cherry gravy and slutty cakes (that is, pumpkin, peanut butter, and pistachio pancakes).

Surprisingly, I began to fall in love with Shopsins not by eating there, but from the documentary I Like Killing Flies, which I watched on a whim on IFC. And as soon as I saw it, I thought, this sounds like my kind of place.

Here are a couple of clips from the documentary that’ll give you an idea of the tone of the restaurant and the personality of owner Kenny Shopsin.

(more…)

Readercon 22 will be held July 14-17 in Burlington, Massachusetts, and not only is it the 22nd Readercon, it’s MY 22nd Readercon. Yes, that’s right. I’ve attended every one since the first in 1987. It’s long been my favorite convention.

One way I know it that is my review of this year’s supposedly final program reveals there’ll be several dozen panels, readings, and presentations I want to attend, a bounty which never happens at any other con—and which would require me stepping into a chrono-synclastic infundibulum to pull off.

So until I can go through the grid and nail down my first choices for those hours when I wish I could be in two places at once, the only programming I’m 100% sure you’ll be able to find me at is my own.

Which is …

Reading
Thursday, July 14
8:00 p.m. NH
Edelman reads “Things That Never Happened,” a short story to be published in Postscripts magazine. [Since my reading will be one of the first things that occurs when the con starts at 8:00 p.m. on a Thursday night, I expect a low turnaround. So don’t disappoint me by showing up!]

Writing Within Constraints
Friday, July 15
12:00 p.m. RI
with Elaine Isaak, Michael Aondo-verr Kombol, John Langan, David Malki (leader), and Madeleine Robins
Whether it’s writing on a theme for an anthology, writing on assignment or commission, or simply imposing rules to jump-start your creativity, writing within constraints can be an incredible way to defeat “the tyranny of the blank page.” We discuss the rewards and challenges of starting with someone else’s idea.

The Shirley Jackson Awards
Sunday, July 17
11:00 a.m. G
In recognition of the legacy of Shirley Jackson’s writing, and with permission of the author’s estate, the Shirley Jackson Awards have been established for outstanding achievement in the literature of psychological suspense, horror, and the dark fantastic. Jackson (1916-1965) wrote such classic novels as The Haunting of Hill House and We Have Always Lived in the Castle, as well as one of the most famous short stories in the English language, “The Lottery.” Her work continues to be a major influence on writers of every kind of fiction, from the most traditional genre offerings to the most innovative literary work. The awards given in her name have been voted upon by a jury of professional writers, editors, critics, and academics, with input from a Board of Advisors, for the best work published in the calendar year of 2010 in the following categories: Novel, Novella, Novelette, Short Story, Single-Author Collection, and Edited Anthology. [Well, that’s how the con describes the Shirley Jackson Awards. The way I think of it—this is the hour during which I’ll learn which other writer’s collection has beaten What Will Come After in the Single-Author Collection category. Because since I’m up against Laird Barron, Stephen Graham Jones, Jeff VanderMeer, and Karen Joy Fowler … well .. let’s just say I’m won’t be bothering to write an acceptance speech.]

Kaffeeklatsch
Sunday, July 17
12:00 a.m. Vin
with James Morrow

See you in three weeks!

As soon as I learned that this year’s Stoker Awards banquet was going to be held on Long Island, I decided to make the most of it. And one way I did that was by bookending the event with lunches that had absolutely nothing to do with the primary reason for my trip.

I planned a Thursday lunch with Frank Cama, the Junior High School drama teacher who changed my life, and I planned a Sunday lunch with Marie Severin, the Marvel Comics artist who’s the funniest, nicest lady I ever met in the business. (Don’t worry—Irene won’t mind in the slightest that I said that.)

As the time for my lunch with the Mirthful one drew near, signs indicated to me that Fate was not indifferent to my trip, and very much wanted us to spend time together.

For example:

1) I was asked to present one of HWA’s two Lifetime Achievement Awards to Al Feldstein. The fact that Feldstein was an editor at EC Comics also meant that he was … Marie’s boss.

2) A couple of days before I was to head off to Long Island, I was contacted by Sean Howe, author of an upcoming history of Marvel Comics in the ’70s. He gave me the phone number of fellow Bullpenner Stu Schwartzberg so I could pass it on to Marie the next time I saw her … which Sean had no idea was only going to be a few days later.

3) I had dinner Friday night with (among others) William Freedman, who’s married to the niece of one of Marie’s high school classmates. We’d met online when he reached out to tell me about his encounter with Marie Severin and how she drew on his walls, and he retold that tale at our dinner party.

4) Sunday morning at the hotel, while noodling around online, I discovered that one of Marie’s most famous covers was on display as part of a comics exhibit at an Istanbul museum. Since Marie doesn’t do the Internet, this meant the only way she’d ever know about this honor was if I showed her that pic on my iPad.

You’d think those would be enough reasons to prove the universe was smiling at my encounter with Marie, but no, there was an even more astonishing one … (more…)

When I was in kindergarten, my teacher wanted the class to dance around the room pretending to be flowers. We were to sing while twirling colorful scarves. Extremely shy, very serious, and somewhat repressed, I refused. It seemed silly, and I didn’t intend to make a spectacle of myself, not even when the teacher threatened me by saying that if I wouldn’t dance with the others (I was the only refusenik), I wouldn’t be allowed to take part in the visit to the pet snake kept by the kids in the next classroom. I was adamant, and so I ended up sitting stubbornly alone while everybody else got to play with that snake.

Flash forward a decade or two, and my personality was quite different. I spontaneously hurled myself at Steve Gerber’s feet in Times Square in a kind of improvised guerilla theater, begging him, while tourists watched wide-eyed, to return to the family he’d supposedly abandoned. I’ve acted in plays, done hundreds of panels and readings, was toastmaster at a Nebula Awards banquet, and will pretty much do anything in public, as long as it is good and kind, that seems as if it would be entertaining to me or to others.

How did the kid who wouldn’t dance become the adult who doesn’t worry much about what other people think?

A happy accident. And a very special teacher. (more…)

In October of 1981, I sent a short story titled “In the Kingdom of Eros” to Elinor Mavor of Amazing Stories, who rejected it three months later with a brief note scribbled on the back of the form reject below. The story, written in 1980, ended up collecting a total of 34 rejections before I retired it in 1991.

However …

“Eros and Agape Among the Asteroids,” a science fictional version of what started out a fantasy tale, was published in the anthology Once Upon A Galaxy in 2002.

Earlier this month, I asked you to help choose the cover to the upcoming anthology, Why New Yorkers Smoke, which is forthcoming from NonStop Press. (Why did I ask? Because it contains a short story of mine, of course!)

Publisher Luis Ortiz has announced the winner of his poll, and also that ten randomly selected voters (maybe you’ll be one of them) will receive copies of the book when it comes out on 9/11.

The winner is …

And you know what? That was MY choice out of all possible covers, too!

I’m just back from Long Island, where I went to take part in the Stoker Awards weekend, and I’ve got lots to say and neither the time nor the energy to say it all now. But one thing I want to make sure I do before the work week begins is share the remarks I made to present Al Feldstein with the Lifetime Achievement Award of the Horror Writers Association.

I may have deviated from the script below as I moved through my speech, but I think you’ll get the gist of it—to explain in 3-5 minutes to all those present the reasons why Feldstein deserved to be honored by the organization. (Fingers crossed that I haven’t deviated from fact.)

And so …

Those familiar with the Golden Age of horror comics our Lifetime Achievement Awards recipient Al Feldstein was responsible for back in the 1950s know that if HE had scripted the Stoker Awards weekend, it would start off with a punning title like, “I’m Fine, Horror You?” It would culminate in a banquet at which one of our Guests of Honor would mysteriously fail to show and meanwhile the steaks would taste REAL good. And once all the speechifying was over and we’d start rushing out of here to party, we’d find the halls lined with razor blades … and then some idiot would turn off the lights.

Feldstein was born in Brooklyn in 1925, and when he was 15, barely able to afford the subway fare to the High School of Music and Art which he attended in Manhattan, he learned that a friend was earning some money in the comic book business. Feldstein was hired by Jerry Iger of the Eisner and Iger shop, which created content for the comics publishing companies of the day, to do the scut work of ruling panel border, inking pointers on word balloons, and erasing pencils once pages were done … for three bucks a week.

He enlisted in the Air Force in 1943, where, among other thing, he designed flight jackets and painted squadron insignias, and after his discharge, he started freelancing for Fox Comics. But there was something missing about those assignments. Something like … getting paid in a timely manner, which I think many of you here in this room are all too familiar with. But he heard about another publishing company that treated its freelancers a little better, one called Entertaining Comics, owned by a guy named Bill Gaines. (more…)

Former Marvel Comics editor-in-chief Jim Shooter posted an essay the other day which makes it sound as if, once Stan Lee no longer had the time to oversee how others were playing with his toys, no other editor-in-chief paid much attention to what was going in any books except for those he wrote himself until Jim arrived to take the reins and put things right. Shooter repeated this line of thought in a second essay, writing that “any outside observer would have guessed that [Production Manager John Verpoorten] was the boss, at least during the time that Len, Marv, Gerry and Archie were Editors in Chief.”

As someone who was hired when Roy Thomas was in charge, and who continued on staff at Marvel under Len Wein, Marv Wolfman, Gerry Conway, and Archie Goodwin, I feel called upon to defend my former bosses and say—not so! Verpoorten, though important, was not acting as de facto editor-in-chief, making all art assignments for editors who were supposedly uncaring of what was going on in the rest of the titles. While Verpoorten made sure that Vinnie Colletta, who hit his deadlines, got more assignments than the rest of us would have liked, he wasn’t running the show. I witnessed this on a daily basis, as editors held plotting sessions with writers, were deeply involved in art assignments, and pushed all freelancers to be accountable.

In lieu of an elaborate rebuttal right now, here are a few memos to let you see that even though once in a while a slip-up might let a superhero do something preposterous like drag Manhattan Island, not only did the editors who came before Jim try to make the trains run on time (something Jim was admittedly very good at), but they also paid attention to what the heck was happening on those trains. (more…)