February is dead and buried, so it’s time to gather up that month’s dreams and see whether anything useful comes out of letting them rub up against each other.

My dreamworld visitors included Ray Bradbury, Katee Sackhoff, Chip Delany, Orson Welles, and many other names you might recognize.

And for those who’ve asked, as they’ve seen these dreams flit by over on Twitter, whether I really dream this much … yes, yes I do. I always have, and I hope I always will.

FEBRUARY 2012

I dreamt I arrived at my Jeep with a platter of pastries for Marie Severin to find two guys attempting to break in. So I chased them off. 29 Feb

I dreamt David Kyle handed over to me film canisters given to him by Fred Pohl, which turned out to be experimental movies by Chip Delany. 28 Feb

I dreamt I clumsily navigated crowded dealers room aisles while lugging half a dozen stuffed shopping bags in each hand. It wasn’t pretty. 28 Feb

I dreamt that to escape an island on which I’d shipwrecked, I crawled through caverns in total darkness for days to retrieve a special moss. 28 Feb

I dreamt Irene drove up to the house in a brand new silver Cadillac, causing me to think — Wow, she went ahead and bought a car without me? 25 Feb

I dreamt I was Stephen Colbert running alongside a dwarf in an Uncle Sam suit. My subconscious apologizes to little people everywhere. 25 Feb

I dreamt that, having received an email from Walter Cronkite in the morning and Ray Bradbury in the afternoon, I was feeling VERY pleased. 25 Feb

I dreamt I was The Mentalist‘s Patrick Jane, hosting a seance to reveal a killer. As part of my ploy, the room suddenly filled with flames. 25 Feb

I dreamt my ukulele teacher was also a marriage counselor, and because he double booked, my lesson took place while a couple complained. 24 Feb

I dreamt I hung out with Brooklyn pals, touring the interiors of those beautiful old timey movie palaces which no longer exist in real life. 23 Feb

I dreamt that a friend of @doctorow praised David Duchovny, which started me on a rant about how much I hate his Californication character. 23 Feb

I dreamt I rushed back to my hotel room because it was time to check out, but then, instead of packing, I began making biscuits there. 23 Feb

I dreamt I saw a blackboard with differences between the latest and previous generations. Only entry I remember was KEEPS VASES vs. DOESN’T. 23 Feb

I dreamt I walked through a hotel lobby where both a science fiction and a heavy metal con were being held, feeling smug in my KISS makeup. 23 Feb

I dreamt I popped by a surprisingly good bakery run by Glee‘s Sue Sylvester. She grew jealous when I mentioned other bakeries I’d visited. 22 Feb

I’ve lost a dream, because now that it’s morning, I have no idea what my scribbled note “[Illegible] dine Versailles-like place” means. 21 Feb

I dreamt someone repeatedly reminded me to walk my dog, which I found tremendously annoying. Because I don’t HAVE a dog! 21 Feb

I dreamt I played a game with cards separated into two stacks — true and false facts about me — and @rosefox had to guess which was which. 21 Febv

I dreamt I rescued a woman from a guy who was trying to pull her into a garage. I pulled him off her and called for help, but no one came. 21 Feb

I dreamt society devolved to where we were all wearing old timey suits of armor and I was captured by a knight with a lance … and a taser! 21 Feb

I dreamt I sat in the lobby at Readercon reading a thick book as the con swirled around me, interacting with no one, seemingly invisible. 21 Feb

I dreamt that as @MaryRobinette and friends drove off from our house, I realized I had no memory of the visit itself, just their departure. 20 Feb

I dreamt I was at Balticon and stunned to see attendees in autograph lines are now being wanded TSA-style before being allowed near writers. 20 Feb

I dreamt I arrived late to a family reunion to find all my relatives, living and dead, seated at a long table wearing formal mourning garb. 20 Feb

I dreamt I wandered with a basket collecting for a Kickstarter project, then realized I stumbled into a church service. Ooops! So I stopped. 20 Feb

I dreamt I watched a sweded version of the X-Men movie with my Dad, but since he’d never seen the original, it made no sense to him at all. 20 Feb

I dreamt I was about to leave the house and get into trouble with that Lip Gallagher kid, but I couldn’t find my glasses, so all was fuzzy. 20 Feb

I dreamt Irene started choking, and I attempted the Heimlich Maneuver. Unsuccessfully. (Maybe it was all that clown makeup she was wearing.) 20 Feb

I dreamt my mother apologized profusely for how she felt her time in prison affected us as kids, though I didn’t even remember she was away. 19 Feb

I dreamt my son looked for his SUV and I looked for my school bus in a vast parking lot. And all the time I thought … why do I have a bus? 19 Feb

I dreamt I was in the audience at the Kennedy Center waiting for the show to start, chatting with David Steinberg. About Michael Dirda. 19 Feb

I dreamt that while under anesthesia, I was saying all sorts of stuff I didn’t want to be saying. Now that I’m awake, I remember none of it. 18 Feb

I dreamt I told someone who might be The One: “I sing a verse, then you sing a verse; if we sing a verse together I’ll know you’re The One.” 18 Feb

I dreamt Artie from Glee was nervous about singing for Jimmy Carter, so I calmed him down with stories of the famous people I’d sung to. 18 Feb

I dreamt I was trapped on the beach with the cast of Jersey Shore, and continually tried and failed to get away. A true nightmare! 18 Feb

I dreamt I tried to BBQ a steak on the grill by balancing it vertically on one end, but I wasn’t having much success. It kept falling over! 18 Feb

I dreamt I drove to a rocket factory and parked so close to the ship that was to take me to space I couldn’t open the door of my truck. 18 Feb

I dreamt I hung with Vegas showgirls. Being a geek, instead of taking pics of them, I took pics of the signs explaining how to treat them. 18 Feb

I dreamt I was pumping gas when the handle broke and splattered people nearby. (And no, when I woke, I _didn’t_ have to go to the bathroom.) 17 Feb

I dreamt I got locked out of my hotel room and wandered the halls in only a towel. But since a con was in progress, no one cared. I had fun. 17 Feb

I dreamt I was in the audience of American Idol during the early audition phase, and a coach came up to me and told me my kid had talent. 17 Feb

I dreamt a toddler hugged me in a crowd, lisping, “You can’t be my sister, because I already have one of those, but you can be my brother.” 17 Feb

I dreamt I knew a gossipy entry on @pnh‘s blog was about friends of mine without naming them, and I tried to decipher exactly WHICH friends. 16 Feb

I dreamt I was trapped at a party hosted by Betty White’s TV show producer and was stuck VERY uncomfortably explaining why I don’t watch it. 16 Feb

I dreamt Walt Disney asked me to create a flow chart. With the job done, I stood before him wondering on which color paper to print it out. 15 Feb

I dreamt a friend of mine hacked the thermostat at Balticon so the heating system sensed the temp wherever she was and adjusted accordingly. 15 Feb

I dreamt that technology had devolved, and instead of smartphones, we all walked around with beepers. I showed mine off to oohs and aahs. 15 Feb

I dreamt I hit a restaurant with three friends, and the server seated us at four different, distant tables. And all food came to me first. 15 Feb

I dreamt a zoologist brought two beautifully colored crested birds to Worldcon, and was teaching me how to get them to obey my commands. 14 Feb

I dreamt I was on a long line through an armory at the end of which Rick Grimes handed out guns so we could deal with those damned zombies. 13 Feb

I dreamt I recovered statuary from a demolished Gilded Age mansion, and when Steve Jobs wandered by, I offered him a life-sized angel. 13 Feb

I dreamt I chatted with a fat, old Orson Welles, who laughed as he told me how much he loved Stephen Colbert’s hoax presidential campaign. 13 Feb

I dreamt I was at a party hosted by @2muchexposition at which she pulled numbers out of a hat, and the winner (loser?) had to eat wasabi. 13 Feb

I dreamt we planted overcooked ears of corn vertically in the soil and then sprinkled seeds above each for which they’d act as fertilizer. 12 Feb

I dreamt Irene went river tubing without me, and I sat lonely with my father (dead three years in real life), wondering why and missing her. 12 Feb

I dreamt we traveled the jungles of the Yucatan peninsula, nervously rappelling down cliffs to get where we were going. Wherever that was. 12 Feb

I dreamt I rehearsed with the cast of Laugh-In for a new season. Dan and Dick and all the other actors were there, young. Lou Jacobi, too. 12 Feb

I dreamt that as part of our annual daffodil party we decided to host a wedding, so Irene and I asked for volunteers from among our friends. 11 Feb

I dreamt Katee Sackhoff and I created a wall-sized Battlestar infographic as our entry in a contest. But I woke before learning if we’d won. 11 Feb

All of last night’s dreams dissolved upon waking, and only fragments remain. I remember furniture was teleporting. But I no longer know why. 10 Feb

I dreamt an alarm rang, so I donned scuba gear and dove into an underwater complex for a repair. But the water was too foul, and I failed. 9 Feb

I dreamt I visited my old junior high school to give a speech, where I was introduced as Ray Bradbury. Which confused me. Because I’m NOT. 9 Feb

Last night’s dreams were eaten by this strange hotel pillow, and all I have to show for my time in bed are illegible notes. Not fair! 8 Feb

I dreamt that after taking my seat on a plane, the captain came to prep the next seat because a 1,000,000-mile flier was about to board. 7 Feb

I dreamt Irene and I talked with bluebirds and squirrels, who had those high-pitched, squeaky voices you only hear in Disney cartoons. 5 Feb

I dreamt Rick Perry, George Bush (the younger), and Ron Paul stopped me in a hotel for advice. “How am I fiscally?” asked a concerned Bush. 4 Feb

I dreamt the Washington Post magazine printed a pic from my Dad”s funeral misidentified as being related to the VA Tech tragedy. Horrified. 3 Feb

One dream is lost, and only fragments remain — a red rose in a vase, a gigantic copy of Scott McCloud’s Understanding Comics, row houses. 2 Feb

I dreamt I shuffled along hospital corridors with Dave Kyle while joking with him that we were only there because he had a crush on a nurse. 2 Feb

I dreamt @MaryRobinette ran a Japanese restaurant where I worked as a busboy. And whenever she crossed the threshold, she’d turn Japanese! 2 Feb

I dreamt my father tempted me by stocking a dining room table with Jordan almonds and other goodies. When he left me alone, I succumbed. 2 Feb

I dreamt I sat in the audience (but not of the Daily Show) as Jon Stewart interviewed Liz Taylor about the death of Elvis. 1 Feb

I dreamt I was an 80+ year old man, and at my birthday party, I gave a speech to my friends about how grateful I was for my wonderful life. 1 Feb

I dreamt I was hosting the Oscars, but stopped my monologue to hand George Lucas my phone so he could snap my picture and I could geek out. 1 Feb

I dreamt the Boardwalk Empire cast toured in a play version, and when I ran into HS pal Bill Forsythe after a show, he was still 1973 age. 1 Feb