I usually tweet my dreams, but I was visited by two last night which could not be contained in 140 characters.

First …

I dreamt I was in prison, presumably on some sort of cultural or educational visit, because when alarms went off and the place went into lockdown, I was hustled into a small library-like room, and once I got there I found the same had been done with Neil Gaiman and a woman I didn’t recognize.

As the three of us waited for the emergency to be declared over, a gate popped open, and I knew that wasn’t a good thing, because it would allow the rioting prisoners to reach us. But before that could happen, we were rescued by The Question.

After saving us, I showed him that I had a souvenir pen with his name on it in my jacket pocket. I told him I was a big fan of his. He said he was a fan on mine, too, and liked my zombie stories. I woke as we discussed the aftermath of what had occurred.

Then …

I dreamt a serial killer was leaving corpses around town covered with magic marker taunts, and a friend of mine and I grew convinced that the culprit was James Callis. (Not Callis himself, but rather a character being portrayed by him in the dream.) So when I received a phone call telling me where I could find evidence of his guilt, we hurried off to a college classroom, inside of which I saw Callis. I pulled out my gun, ready to confront him.

But just as I was about to enter the room, I saw him approached by someone else, a man who began to write all over Callis with a magic marker, and I realized I’d been wrong, and the real murderer was going to kill him and pin it on me so I’d stop meddling!

So I shot the murderer to stop him from killing Callis, but he still tried to get away, so I handcuffed him, but then he somehow found the key, and as I shouted for my friend to phone the police, I wrapped the guy tightly in a blanket so he couldn’t move.

When I looked around, Callis was gone, and I thought … uh-oh, this isn’t good. I realized it was the old switcheroo, and Callis was really was the murderer after all. It was a set-up, and the police would find me having shot an innocent man. I woke before they arrived and I could be arrested …

(Yes, my dream world is that exciting.)