Last month seemed less rife with remembered dreams than other months, perhaps because it was once again a heavy convention month, leading to exhaustion, which resulted in my leaving dreams behind when I woke. But still, there were some, and they were once more filled with comic book and science fiction settings. And people.

Appearing in this month’s dreams were Julia Roberts, Rex Reed, Stone Cold Steve Austin, all the Glee kids, Adam-Troy Castro, John Barrowman, and who knows? Maybe you!

MAY 2011

I’ve lost one of my dreams, because I have no idea what my hastily scribbled middle-of-the-night note means: “did not eat cookies” May 31

I dreamt my son phoned to tell me he was in a fender bender, which was only odd as a dream because in real life, he doesn’t drive. May 31

I dreamt I was invited to be guest lecturer but had to agree via an inaccessible computer locked away in a room occupied by a marching band. May 31

I dreamt I came upon a dry riverbed, but after I drilled a whole in the middle, it flowed once more, and I could speed down it on a raft. May 31

I dreamt I was dying at age 79 in a post-apocalyptic world, and as I did so I gave the lucky coin that had kept me alive to my grandson. May 31

I dreamt that as my father and I hunted for a space in a parking garage, we sang the doo-wop song, “My Juanita.” http://tinyurl.com/3nl5yxp May 31

I dreamt I appeared in a show playing the guitar and singing about a woman who woke up to discover one of her kidneys had been stolen. May 30

I dreamt I was hanging out with Stan Lee, and helping him remember a superhero created in 1987, which felt both far away and like yesterday. May 29

I dreamt my boss was leading a discussion of the Thor movie in a college dorm, and I was the only one who spoke out against it. May 29

I dreamt I was on the lawn, realized the ants were intelligent, and could understand what they were saying. They were conspiring against me! May 29

I dreamt I wandered a crowded mall filled with nothing but many groups of bridesmaids in their matching dresses. Boy, were they raucous! May 29

I dreamt I woke in a crowded intersection in my pajamas during rush hour. I was confused, and Kevin Spacey commiserated with me. May 28

I dreamt that after a friend’s Dad died, we found a magnifying glass and key of steampunk design, filled with clues. Adventures awaited us! May 28

I dreamt I was on a talk show to discuss my SF collection, but can’t recall for sure whether the host was Cheyenne Jackson or Will Arnett. May 28

I’ve lost a dream, because I have no memory of what this hastily scribbled middle-of-the-night note is supposed to mean: “CALL FROM MAID” May 27

I dreamt my father, played by a Jaws-era Roy Scheider, returned home in search of something he’d left behind, but he was unable to find it. May 27

I dreamt I was in a small town watching an old timey parade. I felt my hands moving, and looked down to see I’d eaten an entire cherry pie. May 26

I dreamt I was at a con watching as Bud Sparhawk chased an obnoxious heckler through a crowded dealers room, failing to catch up with him. May 26

I dreamt I spotted a larger than life wolf in an unidentified city, and when I approached to admire it, it meowed meekly like a kitten. May 23

I dreamt that while in one of those long snaking lines to go through customs, I was stabbed in the hip with a pencil. No one seemed to care. May 23

I dreamt John Barrowman was a meek, mild-mannered guy who was suddenly possessed by the spirit of a serial killer named Brontmir. May 23

I dreamt I had a long talk with Michael Moore about his next doc, and then later talked with NBC exec Mark Stern about my Moore talk. May 22

I dreamt a neighbor was attacked near our house, and I had to rescue him with my shotgun. There was a standoff until police were called. May 21

I dreamt I drove with the Glee kids squeezed in my car, telling them how much I loved Irene. They didn’t believe me since she wasn’t there. May 21

I dreamt I was Ken Cosgrove (why him!?) from Mad Men, filling the trunk of my car with bananas and driving to a lake for a Don Draper shoot. May 20

I dreamt my niece and nephew visited, and after opening all of our windows, headed off on the D.C. Metro to wander museums on their own. May 19

I dreamt I was at John Clute’s flat packing for a Lord of the Rings tour. And I don’t mean just of movie sets, but of the real Middle-earth! May 19

I dreamt I accidentally locked myself out of my squalid Brooklyn apartment early one morning, and padded barefoot to the local bagel shop. May 18

I dreamt I was taking a proofreading test at DC using a color photocopy of a Batman story, and finding that all the wrong words were bold. May 18

I dreamt my boss and I complained to each other on the cell while I inspected a chain link fence so that caged birds stayed trapped inside. May 18

I dreamt Warren Lapine and I gave a presentation on Jack Kirby, bringing along dozens of pages of original art we could only own in dream. May 17

I dreamt I was at an all-night con party where everyone sang, but whenever I was about to begin, someone else jumped in and poached my song. May 17

I dreamt my grandmother (dead in real life) went missing, but eventually pieced together the truth — she was off with her new boyfriend. May 17

I dreamt my brother’s head fell off, but as long as I pressed it tightly against his neck, he was fine. We agreed not to tell our mother. May 17

I dreamt I was waiting for my (dead) Uncle Jack to call to be picked up from the train station, not understanding why the call never came. May 16

I dreamt Irene was almost trampled at the opera, and after pulling her from a crazed crowd, I remonstrated with the staff at the box office. May 16

I dreamt a news report trumpeted that copies of FOOM #11 were selling for $40,000, so I ran through the house giddily digging out my copies. May 16

I dreamt Terry Bisson led us on a tour of former Slan shacks, and we startled an elderly couple by bursting into their apartment unannounced. May 16

I dreamt I saw a record album for sale made up entirely of samples, and rushed to buy a copy before a lawsuit pulled it from the market. May 16

I dreamt I demonstrated to Greg Feeley a PR stunt that involved a book with a temp tattoo only visible to others who also bought that book. May 16

I dreamt my covers slid off while I slept, and when I tried to rescue them they grew to the size of a circus tent and I was lost underneath. May 16

I dreamt that when Irene moved the mower so she could get her car in the garage it wandered the lawn like Little Billy and crushed our iris. May 16

I dreamt Nick Mamatas and I were on a panel somewhere having an intense debate about … what? If only I could remember the topic! May 15

I dreamt I accompanied Irene as she shopped for clothes, and it was a Goldilocks experience — everything was either too large or too small. May 14

I dreamt I checked into a motel with my mother and sister (who I don’t really have) for my fathers’ funeral. We played sad videos on the TV. May 14

I dreamt I was driving through Manhattan, totally lost, and trying to remember how to get to Brooklyn. And I couldn’t get my GPS to work. May 13

I dreamt I visited a commune in the UK to see an underground cartoonist. I tried to look at his art collection, but there were distractions. May 13

I dreamt I found an elevator in my house which would take me to Disneyland. When the doors opened, an unidentifiable character was inside. May 13

I dreamt Stone Cold Steve Austin and I appeared at an unidentified SF convention, where we got up in front of a crowd and broke kayfabe. May 12

I dreamt Irene and I were gazing at a pond in the backyard when an ancient tombstone floated by and we wrestled it out onto dry land. May 10

I dreamt Adam-Troy Castro and I thought a guy was following us and joked about the possible reasons, not taking the threat seriously at all. May 10

I dreamt I was unsuccessfully trying to fall asleep in the middle of a comics shop during an extremely crowded and noisy Free Comics Day. May 9

I dreamt I was Bruce Banner, and was changing into the Hulk while running quickly through Central Park on the way to battle the Red Hulk. May 9

I dreamt I wandered my backyard with Julia Roberts while discussing how much we both loved the BBQ at Flint’s in Oakland. May 8

I dreamt I drove to a national park on the weekend, couldn’t find an open space to put the car, and regretted not visiting during the week. May 8

I dreamt that while doing inventory at a movie studio, I found all the old internal memos about getting the rights for 1939’s Wizard of Oz. May 8

I dreamt I was in a tightly packed train, and everybody but me in standing room only car was drinking, smoking and wearing nicotine patches. May 8

I dreamt I told Roger Slifer about the time Harlan Ellison took over as Marvel editor-in-chief, which I forgot until I found my old memos. May 7

I dreamt I was an ancient vaudevillian entertaining school kids with my old timey act, which involved frenetic dancing to the “Tiger Rag.” May 5

I dreamt I was giving one of Marie Severin’s friends a tour of our house, but she was old and confused and began to think she lived there. May 3

I dreamt I told Rex Reed about the time I bumped into Lillian Gish at Radio City Music Hall, which now seems odd, because IRL he was there. May 3

I dreamt I wore a beat-up brown derby while watching an old timey movie in which every character on screen also wore a beat-up brown derby. May 1

I dreamt I passed a movie theater marquee listing the names of every Oscar winner in consecutive order, the titles squeezed tight. May 1