I’m just back from a whirlwind trip to Florida where, highly unusual for me, I remembered no dreams. But now that I’m home, it’s time to gather up the February dreams I shared on Twitter and see what meaning can be found when they’re together.

Last month, my dreams included Taylor Swift, Jesse Ventura, Hugh Laurie, Ian McKellen, Andy Kaufman, and … who knows … maybe you!

February 2015

Here’s a dream I lost because my middle-of-the-night note now makes no sense: BIG FAT BOOK PEN NAME MARGE – ? SEPARATED FROM BKLYN FRIENDS. Feb 28

I dreamt Harlan Ellison for some dream reason I don’t understand autographed one of @Cadigan‘s books to me, and scribbled a note to my wife. Feb 28

I dreamt I was with Dennis Etchison laughing about the time I shaved my head in the middle of a previous con (which BTW never happened IRL). Feb 28

I dreamt I was at the end of dinner at @VOLT_RANGE, and couldn’t wait to see what desserts @bttrlovehardwrk had waiting. I must be hungry! Feb 27

I dreamt I wandered a hotel that supposedly hosted the World Horror Con, but all I could find were cult members in brightly colored robes. Feb 27

I dreamt I was visiting with my parents, whose house was now immediately next to Disneyland. Meaning — right across the street! What fun! Feb 27

I dreamt @mrbelm and @rosefox visited, and while they were in my basement, I ran up and down bringing them snacks. But — Vegan cheese? Feb 27

I dreamt that while at Worldcon, I bumped into Rudy Giuliani. Weirdly, he was dressed like a hippie — paisley, long hair, love beads, etc.! Feb 27

I dreamt I visited my doctor, portrayed Portlandia-style by Fred Armisen, then I couldn’t go! He kept blocking me from leaving his office. Feb 26

I dreamt I got a call a neighbor was in trouble, looked outside, and spotted her crawling through the snow. I helped her in, phoned 911. Feb 26

I dreamt I headed to Little Italy, wanting cannoli, but then I saw it was Feast of San Gennaro time, so I left. I just wasn’t up for crowds. Feb 25

I dreamt I was in the audience for a reading by @LaMaupin. I tried to record her performance on my iPhone, but I don’t think it worked … Feb 25

I dreamt I was walking to the Nebulas when Barry Malzberg pulled up in a old VW and offered me a lift. Nah, I said. I needed the exercise. Feb 24

I dreamt I told another writer how I’d had to wake up early to finish a script. Then I noticed Julie Schwartz eavesdropping. And smiling. Feb 24

I dreamt I was a teacher at a high school where none of the kids merely walked and talked, they only sang and danced. I was in a musical! Feb 24

I dreamt I was hanging with @inhoclocus at a station waiting for my train to take me home, both of us strumming our ukes to pass the time. Feb 23

I dreamt I was editing Science Fiction Weekly again — the magazine that started my @Syfy career — only my assistant was Taylor Swift! Feb 23

I dreamt my mother had died and so my brother and I were packing to move my father into a smaller home — the opposite of what happened IRL. Feb 23

I dreamt I was working in ad agency, and tried to talk about Mad Men — only no one else had seen it. And I thought … how can this be? Feb 22

Each time I woke last night, I’d have this Ink Spots number playing in my head. There are worse earworms. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B00wg2o-SG4 Feb 22

I dreamt that while I was watching TV, the mask of the world fell off, just like in THEY LIVE, but I had to go on pretending I never saw it. Feb 21

I dreamt I was a non-smoker thrown out of a dedicated smoking room by smokers, taking revenge for the times THEY were tossed out of rooms. Feb 21

I dreamt I tried to sing Mikado’s “punishment fit the crime” song among friends, couldn’t remember the words — and my iPhone search failed! Feb 20

I dreamt I bombed around NYC with @tinytempest and @2muchexposition having a blast, only — they kept insisting I couldn’t cross on the red! Feb 20

I dreamt I watched a TV musical in which actors portraying Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld sang “Hooray for Hollywood” in the Oval Office. Feb 18

I dreamt I still worked at @Syfy, and was pitching a late night TV show called Sci-Fi House Party — made up of sci-fi themed music videos. Feb 18

I dreamt I bumped into Connie Willis on the last day of a con, and we were all, “Where have you been?” and “Why haven’t I seen you before?” Feb 18

I dreamt I was one of three post-humans who traveled to today and manifested in a human form, then together we stopped an alien invasion. Feb 17

I dreamt I was stopped by the police as I drove, asked to step out of my Jeep, and then when I was allowed to leave, it had become a VW bus. Feb 17

I dreamt I walked across a highway and dodged cars with Steve Carell and Stephen Colbert. Only Colbert got across safely. Thanks to his tux. Feb 16

I dreamt I was scheduled to interview Sarah Palin, but she blew me off, walking away because she didn’t like questions she thought I’d ask. Feb 16

To make up for that nightmare, I dreamt dozens of capybaras were in the backyard and in our house — and the babies were as small as grapes. Feb 14

Woke screaming from a dream in which a shop wall of sweaters collapsed on me and I couldn’t breath. Side effect of a stuffed nose, I guess. Feb 14

I dreamt I was tossed a ball, failed to catch it, and as it rolled into the distance, a bird swooped, grabbed it, and dropped it at my feet. Feb 13

I dreamt while driving I saw us also driving in the same car in the opposite direction and realized one set had time-travelled. But which? Feb 13

I dreamt I went to a restaurant in Japan where the chef brought a live hermit crab over to my table and then cooked it using a flamethrower. Feb 12

I dreams I wandered the San Diego Comic-Con exhibit hall and found a booth for @parisreview. Which confused me. And in confusing, woke me. Feb 10

I dreamt I climbed a mountain which, when I looked off, turned out to be immediately next to the Sears Tower. I peered in the upper windows. Feb 10

I dream I dithered at a supermarket freezer trying to decide which ice cream to buy — and then I woke up feeling cold — the dream’s cause! Feb 10

I dreamt I passed street performers — first Bigfoot, then a gorilla, then a (musical) band of Vikings. Wish I remembered their songs! Feb 9

I dreamt that while wandering NYC, I spotted Hugh Laurie, Ian McKellen and @EllenDatlow. I left the first two alone, only speaking to Ellen. Feb 9

I dreamt a security guard allowed me to visit a museum after hours, but once I started wandering, a second guard came and tossed me out! Feb 9

I dreamt I’d lost my object permanence, which led to difficulty eating breakfast. Anything behind the cereal box was gone forever! Feb 8

I dreamt I volunteered at a family planning clinic surrounded by protesters. They left, a package was delivered, and I got out just in time. Feb 8

I dreamt I brought Andy Kaufman home to meet my parents, and after dinner told him how magical it had been when I first saw him perform. Feb 8

I dreamt I studied the menu at a Chinese restaurant, couldn’t decide, looked up, saw a BBQ stall occupying one corner, and ordered brisket. Feb 7

I dreamt I woke, and as I do when I wake, attempted to take my @fitbit out of sleep mode. But I failed and failed, until I woke for real. Feb 6

I dreamt I was in a restaurant, and spotted Peter Straub at the bar, but when I crossed the room, it sadly wasn’t him, but a doppelgänger. Feb 6

I dreamt my brother phoned to say he’d be at our house shortly. Confusing, as my wife and I were in NYC, and wouldn’t be there to meet him. Feb 6

I dreamt I was in Mad Men, and Joan told an ad guy not to wear his white suit for a presentation. He did so anyway. It wasn’t received well. Feb 6

I dreamt a large fox and small dog were happily rolling on the ground together, so I joined them, all of us rolling and nipping each other. Feb 6

I dreamt I was at WHC chatting about Lillian Hellman when an older woman nearby said she had known her. This’ll be interesting, I thought. Feb 6

I dreamt I was being chased by a horde of zombies — but then @craigengler showed up to rescue me in a tank mounted with a machine gun. Feb 6

I dreamt I was debating with friends the way Wookiees go bald — i.e., head first, or patchy all over? Can’t remember which friends, though. Feb 5

I dreamt I left a surprise gift for my wife to find when she woke, and when I woke first, I saw Stan Lee had added a note to my card. Feb 4

I dreamt I listened in as President Obama announced that the zombie apocalypse was over, and we’d lost. He wished us all good luck. Feb 4

I dreamt I interviewed a guy who sat outside a popular donut shop all day, drawing hateful caricatures of the people who waited for hours. Feb 3

I dreamt I was on TV debating something food-related (don’t remember what), with the host judging who won via an applause meter. (I lost.) Feb 2

I dreamt I was a mortgage underwriter again, and reviewing a loan application while stuffing my face with cherry-flavored chocolate chips. Feb 2

I dreamt I tried to ship my mother a small blue Chihuly-like bowl, but each box I tested, even if it looked large enough, wasn’t. Feb 1

I dreamt that while wandering a university, I was asked to give potential students a campus tour — but I balked, as I wasn’t an alumnus. Feb 1

I dreamt I wandered a shop selling pottery and paintings, but the shelves and walls were mostly empty — Xmas had devastated the stock. Feb 1

I dreamt I leapt into a white van with Charles Brown and Jesse Ventura because we were needed on a mission. But what mission would need US? Feb 1