My subconscious was just as active as usual last month, resulting in many tweeted dreams.

I was thinking of telling you which one of these seemed to me to be the weirdest, or the most entertaining, but as I reread them now, I find that I can’t choose from among my children. I enjoyed having them all.

Well … most of them, anyway.

I dreamed I attended a SFWA banquet at which there were no tables, and we all sat very confused in rows with plates balanced on our knees. 3:42 AM Mar 30th

I dreamt I was at a cast Q&A for Mad Men, but the poor actor who played Sal was shunned and forced to sit in the audience. I commiserated. 3:40 AM Mar 30th

I dreamt Dracula, as drawn by Gene Colan, had captured me but was unable to bite me due to garlic I’d eaten and bit off my toenails instead. 1:57 AM Mar 29th

I dreamt Joss Whedon revealed a previously undisclosed Buffy character was gay — and that as a result, a NY Yankee came out of the closet. 3:37 AM Mar 27th

I dreamt during my airplane sleep to #WHC2010 that I was trapped inside an issue of Nova written by Marv Wolfman and drawn by Sal Buscema. 12:59 PM Mar 25th

I dreamt I was having a heavily choreographed fist fight while “There’s a Kind of Hush” played as an ironic soundtrack in the background. 5:16 AM Mar 24th

I dreamt I was in a crowded SFWA suite at Worldcon discussing the novels of Kevin J. Anderson with — Jack Cassidy? Yes, Jack Cassidy. 8:04 AM Mar 23rd

I dreamt my toilet overflowed, and I was trapped in the bathroom as the water rose around me. See, I sometimes have _normal_ dreams, too! 7:57 AM Mar 23rd

I dreamt I was a woman stalked by a man, and as he walked toward me, our roles and genders reversed, and I became a man stalked by a woman. 8:38 AM Mar 22nd

I dreamt that a NY panhandler held out a hand, and rather than asking for money, _gave_ a dollar to each person who walked by on the street. 8:33 AM Mar 22nd

I dreamt I looked up from a short story I was reading and was surprised to find an adaptation of that story playing at the same time on TV. 8:27 AM Mar 22nd

I dreamt I belonged to a group battling alien invasion. Our motto: “You knock it down or climb over it.” Whatever that was supposed to mean. 8:24 AM Mar 22nd

I dreamt I was crating up a shipment of alligator eggs for Jonathan Strahan, though why I had them and why he needed them I have no idea. 8:21 AM Mar 22nd

I dreamt I was working for a bank as I once did in days of yore, and giving a broker advice on whether his mortgage customers would qualify. 8:52 AM Mar 21st

I dreamt I visited a slavery museum while wearing a provocative t-shirt as a lawyer gave me advice on how to react if asked to remove it. 8:45 AM Mar 21st

I dreamt I saw a department store display selling copies of the final episode of Father Knows Best, in which Robert Young attempts suicide. 8:38 AM Mar 21st

I dreamt I was in an attic with the Big Bang Theory guys unable to shut the lights. Each time we flicked one off, another would turn on! 8:35 AM Mar 21st

I dreamt that Jay Lake and I sang a duet of “M’appari,” after which he told me he’d lost his best friend: http://tinyurl.com/yh7vd8u 7:18 AM Mar 20th

I dreamt that instead of writing my deepest thoughts in a diary, I wrote them along the curb of a NYC street while Stephen Colbert narrated. 8:51 AM Mar 19th

I dreamt I was being introduced at an academic conference not as a genre writer but as someone inspired to become a poet by Lyndon Johnson. 8:49 AM Mar 19th

I dreamt a new writer asked Gordon Van Gelder and me for advice on whether to resubmit a previously rejected ms., and then actually took it. 8:23 AM Mar 18th

I dreamt I attended a HS reunion when a classmate passed a hat for medical expenses for her kid. I tossed in $20, feeling it was not enough. 8:21 AM Mar 18th

I dreamt I delivered the NY Times — not as it exists in real life, but as buckets of pulp paper so people could print it for themselves. 8:26 AM Mar 17th

I dreamt, because he kept mixing them up, I got into an on-air argument with Jay Leno over the differences between NY and NJ stereotypes. 8:24 AM Mar 17th

I dreamt I attended a HS reunion at which we read letters our younger selves had written to our future selves. Except me. I hadn’t bothered. 8:11 AM Mar 16th

I dreamt Paul Di Filippo and I rode Hobbit-like on a cart through the forest. His son was there too, in tears. I’m not sure why he was sad. 8:07 AM Mar 16th

I dreamt I argued US Airways policies with two employees. Don’t remember what we debated, only that one of them was played by Dennis Farina. 8:36 AM Mar 15th

I dreamt my HS reunion and an SF con were happening at the same time, and by not choosing and running between them, I insulted _everyone_. 9:10 AM Mar 14th

I dreamt I hung in a dark bar with Craig Engler, Laura Anne Gilman, and Charlie Jane Anders while a Danny Kaye children’s album was playing. 9:07 AM Mar 14th

I dreamt I attacked Stan Lee with a group of other zombies. When we were done, all that was left was a note he’d written containing my name. 7:52 AM Mar 13th

I dreamt that as Newt Gingrich entered an auditorium to give a speech, in a bizarre turnabout, HE heckled ME. And the reporters all laughed. 7:43 AM Mar 13th

I dreamt I saw a herd of deer outside, and mixed in among the antlered ones were cats just as large. Sadly, my camera wouldn’t cooperate. 7:53 AM Mar 12th

I dreamt I served in the Senate with Karl Rove, and we argued after I discovered a Bible in which he’d crossed out passages he didn’t like. 7:55 AM Mar 11th

I dreamt an order of Chinese food was delivered after I’d already eaten dinner, and so I only watched sadly as others ate but I could not. 7:52 AM Mar 11th

I dreamt that after giving a talk at a university, I grew tired, and rather than heading home, opened a locker and slept inside instead. 8:34 AM Mar 10th

I dreamt I visited my old junior high school, where oddly the auditorium was now the offices of Ace Books, and Ginjer Buchanan was there. 8:13 AM Mar 9th

I dream I was lost in a strange city in which people did not speak my language. Then I found a Chinatown, and dim sum, and no longer cared. 8:10 AM Mar 9th

I dreamt I wandered a gardening store looking to buy a ladder, and down one aisle found John Cleese teetering atop one, about to fall off. 7:50 AM Mar 8th

I dreamt I was in a crowded shoestore, and someone tried to bribe the rest of us to jump the line. The impatient customer? Sydney Pollack. 7:47 AM Mar 8th

I dreamt I was wandering outside a Boston Worldcon with Marti McKenna. But then we got separated, and I couldn’t find her or the con again. 8:16 AM Mar 7th

I dreamt I grew dizzy as I was walking down the street and started stumbling so badly a doctor asked if I was OK. The doctor? Jack Shephard. 8:12 AM Mar 7th

I dreamt that hidden inside a pouch of my cape were secrets about the resignation of Spiro Agnew, but I couldn’t figure out how to open it. 6:41 AM Mar 6th

I dreamt I was in a walled garden reading a Charlie Jane Anders rant on art (or the lack of it) in SF, only to look up, and there she was. 6:40 AM Mar 6th

I dreamt I was hanging quietly in the audience with Steve Mitchell as Paul Kupperberg played the guitar on stage before giving a speech. 6:37 AM Mar 6th

I dreamt I was an injured Bruce Wayne, tossing my costume off a balcony before I fainted so whoever found me wouldn’t discover my identity. 6:35 AM Mar 6th

I dreamt I tried to play an audio file for friends, but whatever I clicked, the wrong clip always played. Dream tech never works for me. 6:57 AM Mar 5th

I dreamt — I have no idea — because I can no longer remember what my middle-of-the-night note “Star Wars/cubicle/bomb/camera” MEANS. 7:30 AM Mar 4th

I dreamt John Picacio and I were at a crowded apartment party, waving cigars and cracking people up with dueling Groucho Marx impressions. 7:28 AM Mar 4th

I dreamt I owned an ancient, unsigned drawing by cartoonist Jeffrey Brown, and I was trying to track him down so I could get him to sign it. 7:24 AM Mar 4th

I dreamt I attended a Worldcon on a sprawling university campus. Amelia Beamer was walking with a seeing-eye dog, even though she could see. 7:22 AM Mar 4th

I dreamt that after nearly being shot by a sniper, I celebrated my good luck by dancing to “On the Good Ship Lollipop” with Shirley Temple 7:20 AM Mar 4th

I dreamt that Patrick Lee, as a result of a bad review, had to stand in a circle with other critics as they took turns kicking each other. 8:40 AM Mar 3rd

I dreamt I was underneath a Brooklyn el as Superman (portrayed by Christopher Reeve) fought a supervillain, and cars crashed all around us. 8:38 AM Mar 3rd

I dreamt I struggled to get back to Irene across a post-apocalyptic landscape, and when I found her she was wandering with E.G. Marshall. 9:00 AM Mar 2nd

I dreamt I was giving a tour of DC Comics to an odd group made up of unrecognizable American Idol contestants and Ukrainian immigrants. 8:58 AM Mar 2nd

I dreamt I’d entered into an alternate dimension where my father was still alive, and knew if I rushed him to a doctor right then he’d live. 8:54 AM Mar 2nd

I dream I bumped into John Lithgow, and cried while telling him that my father was thankful Lithgow had spent time with him before he died. 8:40 AM Mar 1st

I dreamt we moved back to Brooklyn, and now lived within two blocks of eight great bakeries, so I went out in search of Napoleons for Irene. 8:36 AM Mar 1st

I dreamt I appeared on The Sarah Silverman Show (though it was reality, as if I was a character, not an actor) along with two talking cows. 8:34 AM Mar 1st