August was an amazingly light month for remembered dreams, thanks to trips to the Ohio Light Opera and the London Worldcon, as well Florida to help with my mother’s move. It’s not that I had fewer dreams (or so I believe), but that due to exhaustion, most of them effervesced upon waking.

In any case, here’s what survived my travels to be shared on Twitter, starring Goldie Hawn, Edward G. Robinson, John Kerry, Joss Whedon and more …

August 2014 Dreams

I dreamt I met a guy who was 7′ 6″ and attempted to tell him about my encounter with Eddie Carmel without being offensive about it. Aug 31

I dreamt a dancing group of laughing Mad Hatter’s Tea Party people danced up and surrounded me and wanted me to run away and join them. Aug 30

I dreamt I was bragging to people that Brett Cox was so strong he could punch himself in the face. But when he tried to do it … he failed. Aug 30

I dreamt that during a World Horror Con, I went to a baseball game with @joe_hill, caught a foul ball. The crowd cheered as I held it high. Aug 26

I dreamt I was a photographer in a war zone, and just as I was taking a pic of a guy in the distance with a rifle, he raised it right at me. Aug 26

I remember nothing of the dream this middle-of-the-night note was meant to bring to mind: DICK CAVETT MEETS MADONNA. The dream dissipated. Aug 25

I dream I was walking down an alley with @LenWein when he turned and offered me a job at a new comic book company he was starting up. Aug 24

I dreamt I sat with Goldie Hawn at the Oscars when Entertainment Weekly announced it would hand out written apologies to stars, so we went. Aug 15

I dreamt I was walking down the street with Edward G. Robinson, chatting him up about the life of Jack Williamson, and showing old photos. Aug 15

I dreamt I sat around with former Marvel Bullpenners (including Joss Whedon, a former editor-in- chief) and traded tales of the old days. Aug 10

I dreamt I was in a Chilean market, digging with a big plastic spoon into the peach floating in my mote con huesillo … Aug 9

I dreamt that to stop a haunting, I had to snuff out the candles on the many graves behind my house. (Which don’t exist IRL, I assure you!) Aug 8

I dreamt I was in a convention dealers room hurling darts at a dartboard over the heads of everyone there. Which really doesn’t seem wise. Aug 8

I dreamt I was on a battleship for some reason (I wasn’t in the Navy), and was asked to teach others how to use Twitter to relieve stress. Aug 7

I dreamt I was Owen Hunt in Grey’s Anatomy, speechifying to all the other doctors about how they had to start doing a better job. Aug 7

I dreamt I was at a Nebulas weekend where @stdesjardins was trying to organize a mass reading of The Eye of Argon, and I ranted against it. Aug 7

I had a dream in which I ate at a restaurant I’ve eaten at IRL. There were no fantastical elements! What’s the point of a dream like that? Aug 5

I dreamt I turned into a giant bee and protected a scientist from an alien who was attempting to kill him. I think I succeeded. Aug 5

I dreamt I was jewelry shopping in a department store with @rosefox and @2muchexposition, and dithering over a coin once owned by the Queen. Aug 4

I dreamt @doctorow and I fought an alien invasion, revealing one of my grandparents had been taken over a la Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Aug 4

I dreamt I was at a screening of Guardians of the Galaxy when the theater owner took a photo of the audience and wouldn’t explain why. Aug 3

In one of my weirder dreams, I was John Kerry singing “You Light Up My Life” at an ’80s retrospective concert, wrong on so many counts. Aug 3

I dreamt I was at San Diego Comic-Con, talking with Star Wars cosplayers about the intricacy of building functional stormtrooper helmets. Aug 3