It’s once more time to collect all of a month’s dream tweets in one place to see what they can tell me when rubbing up against each other in one place. In January, I dreamt about Ben Gazzara, Samuel L. Jackson, George R.R. Martin, Justin Bieber, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, and more.

JANUARY 2014


I dreamt I worked as a waiter in a @Gachatz restaurant and was TERRIBLE at it. I woke while being chastised by customers for being inept.
 Jan 31

I dreamt I doing my old job, getting content live on @Blastr, then suddenly realizing — Ooops! I’m not supposed to be doing this any more!
 Jan 29

I dreamt I was on my back on the floor and wanted to stand, but couldn’t. A baby had fallen asleep on my arm and I didn’t want to wake it.
 Jan 29

I dreamt I was hanging with friends beneath a highway overpass near a beach, and dancing around to dodge waves when they threatened us.
 Jan 29

I dreamt three female game developers were sharing with me horrific stories of the discrimination they faced. Was I researching an article? 
Jan 28

I dreamt I was invited to a mysterious gathering, attended with hundreds of others I did not recognize … and woke before the presentation.
 Jan 28

I dreamt I visited a grandmother (dead IRL), and grew concerned I couldn’t find my mother. Prodded, she admitted she’d been hospitalized. 
Jan 28

I dreamt I was reading in a quiet library when Justin Bieber, trailed by hundreds of shrieking teens, entered and held a press conference.
 Jan 27

I dreamt I was surrounded by Revolutionary War reenactors who acted as if I was one of them … but I had no idea who I was supposed to be.
 Jan 27

I dreamt Paul Di Filippo told me to read the latest Locus, where I saw an announcement for a new collection of mine I’d known nothing about. 
Jan 27

I dreamt I worked in a battered women’s shelter when all of a sudden there was a huge influx and I felt overwhelmed trying to help them all.
 Jan 26

I dreamt Peter Scolari was a Snowden-style leaker, and I followed him around as he created an alibi by pretending his car was stolen.
 Jan 26

I dreamt Marcy Marxer and I came up with the idea of weaving ukulele strings out of our hair — and then figured out exactly how to do it!
 Jan 26

I dreamt a newspaper critic had written a scathing article on SF conventions, so I invited him to one to show what they were _really_ like.
 Jan 25

I dreamt I met UK friends for dinner, and told them endless Napoleon anecdotes. Which is odd, because I don’t _know_ any Napoleon anecdotes! 
Jan 25

I dreamt tried to get into a supermarket with my Dad, who was hobbling along with a cane. The crowd would not part, and he grew frustrated. 
Jan 24

I dreamt my wife and I read each other reviews of Japanese restaurants until we broke down and made ramen. Which really wasn’t very good.
 Jan 24

I dreamt that while wandering frigid city streets at night I came upon an old homeless woman and offered her my coat, but she rebuffed me.
 Jan 24

I dreamt I got up from the auduence while Stephen Colbert was eating during a break in filming and did schtick with props from his set.
 Jan 23

I dreamt an old boss gave me a proofreading/copyediting test, but it turned out to be made up of nothing but mortgage loan documents.
 Jan 23

I dreamt I pulled off the highway to pick up a drink at a convenience store, but the shelves were bare, so I left with only a newspaper.
 Jan 23

I dreamt I was with Mom in a furniture store trying to do her taxes, papers everywhere, but people kept interrupting asking me to do theirs.
 Jan 22

I dreamt I gave a rip-roaring, old timey, 4th of July speech, punctuating my points with a slide whistle. The audience seemed appreciative.
 Jan 22

I dreamt I was in a restaurant as Chef @Gachatz gave an introductory talk before his new $1,000 dinner. Woke before I ate it, though. Grrr.
 Jan 21

I dreamt I won a writing award and was given a rocketship trophy taller than me. I had trouble carrying it around, getting through doors. 
Jan 20

I dreamt that (while we were somewhere I no longer remember), my wife’s car was stolen, and we had to walk home through heavy rains. 
Jan 20

I dreamt I was at a con looking for the friends with whom I had a 9:30 dinner reservation. Not finding them, I headed for the consuite.
 Jan 19

I dreamt that while wandering a mall, I found the original, abandoned (dream only) storefront of @VOLTResto. I snapped many iPhone pics. 
Jan 19

I dreamt @evanier and I were at a fried chicken joint, his favorite, the mound between us rising so high we could barely see each other.
 Jan 19

I dreamt George R.R. Martin and I, having been laid off from the same company, hit a steakhouse and commiserated over huge slabs of beef. 
Jan 19

I dreamt I worked at DC Comics. When someone shouted “Welcome back,” I replied, “But I never left.” Dick Giordano had the corner office. 
Jan 18

I dreamt I arrived at a B&B lugging heavy satchels overflowing with documents as if in a small town to do research. But of what? Don’t know. 
Jan 18

I dreamt I was hired to wander a Hollywood party as a bird, flapping my feathery wings to entertain guests. Jon Hamm was dressed as Klaatu.
 Jan 18

I dreamt I set up a camera to film whoever had stolen all my previous cameras … which only ended up filming the theft of the new one!
 Jan 18

I dreamt I sat with an ancient guy swapping titles of movies, books, etc. that made us happy. Waking, I only remember Singing in the Rain.
 Jan 17

I dreamt I was heading to Philly via train to spend the day wandering food trucks with Gardner Dozois. Sadly, I woke before I got there!
 Jan 17

I dreamt @2muchexposition and I were trying to figure out what outfits we wanted to wear while hanging out with the characters from Girls.
 Jan 17

I dreamt Ben Gazzara was sent to kill me and my friends. We were weaponless, so it wasn’t going well. But then Eddie Murphy came to help us!
 Jan 15

I dreamt I was hired as Carrie Fisher’s personal assistant, and most of my job consisted of turning people away who wanted to meet with her.
 Jan 15

I dreamt I was trapped atop a roller coaster, and had to make my way down on foot, trying not to get caught in the moving chains and gears. 
Jan 15

I dreamt I was at an airport bookshop and spotted a book signed by Stan Lee, Sol Brodsky, and Sean Howe. But — Sol’s been dead for decades!
 Jan 14

I dreamt I looked up, saw a centipede outside THE SIZE OF A HORSE, then went right back to whatever I was doing. How was I so lackidasical?
 Jan 14

I dreamt I was pontificating about The Wire to Samuel L. Jackson, who said nothing, but with a raised eyebrow showed me how dubious he was. 
Jan 14

I dreamt I woke on a deserted street in Brooklyn to the sounds of demolition. Workers weren’t visible, but the borough was being torn down.
 Jan 14

I dreamt I read a magazine bio blurb in which I’d misstated my own age — I’d added the years I’d been alive to the years I’d been writing.
 Jan 13

I dreamt I followed a dry river bed through the woods, came to a cavern, then spelunked until I arrived at a party hosted by @JohnPicacio.
 Jan 13

I dreamt I wanted to fill up my car from a strange coin-operated pump, but my wife insisted it was better to pay inside. What did she know?
 Jan 13

I dreamt I was one of the Beatles, trapped on a train that was late for a gig. I assume I was George Harrison, since I saw the other three.
 Jan 12

I dreamt I was a cameraman for a reality TV show threatened by a contestant not happy about what I’d just filmed. But I kept filming anyway.
 Jan 12

I dreamt I walked down a dark street and feared I was bring followed, so punched 911 on my phone. Strangely, my phone worked, rare in dream.
 Jan 12

I dreamt I was The Twelfth Doctor and sang a duet of “Lost in the Stars” with Amy Pond. Wrong Doctor/Companion match, I know. But we wept.
 Jan 11

I dreamt I was heading back to my hotel in a Venetian gondola, only I couldn’t remember WHICH hotel, so I was of no help to the gondolier. 
Jan 11

I dreamt I was Louis C.K. driving across the border with a pocketful of diamonds and nervously praying I wouldn’t get searched. 
Jan 11

I dreamt I investigated hotel noise, and found an intricate cookie factory in the next room — conveyor belts, vats, etc. So I made cookies!
 Jan 11

I dreamt @GerryConway and I wandered a city which included a kind of Speakers’ Corner, except you were supposed to stand silently. So I did.
 Jan 11

I dreamt I was in an army vehicle as my comrades were picked off one by one by a distant sniper. I waited for my shot … but woke first.
 Jan 10

I dreamt I walked past a high-end grocery store as the workers started tossing us mousse, foie gras and bread and shouting “Happy New Year.”
 Jan 9

I dreamt Paul Witcover, Paul Di Filippo and I were hired to give talks at a think tank, and we ate pizza in the green room waiting to go on.
 Jan 9

I dreamt I visited a DC Comics museum but couldn’t seem to get past the gift shop, where life-size replicas of original art pages were sold.
 Jan 8

I dreamt I ransacked someone’s office with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. It was slapstick — bouncing off each other, tossing papers in the air.
 Jan 8

I dreamt I was outside a courthouse with Stan Lee and his wife, waiting for it to open. Once it did, he raced inside for a marriage license. 
Jan 8

I’ve lost one of my dreams because I have no idea what this scrawled middle-of-the-night note was supposed to mean: SCAN HUNT NOT MEET UP.
 Jan 5

I dreamt I was at at convention outside the U.S., but in the dream, I didn’t know where. And trying to figure it out ended up waking me up. 
Jan 5

I dreamt I was being given a tour in a Maine coastal town, and we ended up walking to the ocean where we were overwhelmed by its immensity. Jan 4

I dreamt I was at an awards banquet emceed by Robert Mitchum. He called me up, I was handed a fruitcake, and I dedicated it to Hedda Hopper.
 Jan 4

I dreamt Roger Ebert was prepping me and another guy to appear on a talk show to debate whether there should be more Hunger Games movies.
 Jan 3

I dreamt Barry Malzberg told me my bio of a major SF figure was up for a Hugo Award. But I can’t remember whose bio I’d supposedly written!
 Jan 2

I dreamt my wife decided she could fly us back from overseas, so she took control of a plane, but we were arrested and sent home in chains. 
Jan 2