It’s that time again. One month has ended, and a new one begins, so here are all of September’s dream tweets gathered in one place to see whether their surreality increases or decreases when rubbing shoulders like this.

Last month, I dreamt of George R. R. Martin, Isaac Asimov, Maisie Williams, Alfred Hitchcock, Tim Gunn, and many more.

SEPTEMBER 2013



I dreamt Paul Levitz and I scurried around a convention debating whether or not he should publish an anniversary issue of The Comic Reader.

 ‬29 Sep

I dreamt I was back in time with a guy who hoped to stop the Charles Manson killings, but based on clues, I thought he’d be the next victim.

 ‬‬28 Sep 



I dreamt I was walking across the U.S., and sat by a sandy stretch of highway, trying to figure where I was, looking through a guidebook.

‬ ‬26 Sep 



I dreamt I led a surreal Dada-ist protest march that wasn’t really protesting anything. We’d march by other marches, confusing them.

 ‬‬26 Sep 



I dreamt I was Dexter, and when someone slashed my sister (not anyone from the show), I hopped in my striped racecar to run him down.

‬ ‬26 Sep 



I dreamt my (deceased) friend Charlie Guida had turned chef, and as I worked for him, he told me, “We audition for our jobs every day.”

 ‬‬26 Sep 



I dreamt I built a working LEGOs helicopter which I planned to use to get aerial shots for a movie. I lent it to a friend … who broke it.

 ‬‬26 Sep 



I dreamt I was reading the Sunday comics when I noticed one strip (Family Circus?) had been dedicated to my grandfather, and showed others.

 ‬‬25 Sep 



I dreamt I lip synced to a series of recorded opera arias, and everybody was fooled. Which is surprising, as the singers were all women!

‬ ‬25 Sep 



I dreamt I was Daniel Radcliffe, and performed some (now forgotten) cross-franchise prank with Maisie Williams to make fans’ heads explode.

 ‬‬24 Sep 



I dreamt I was cleaning off the table after a dinner party, and being asked to empty the salt shakers, which seemed like overkill to me.

 ‬‬20 Sep 



I dreamt I was driving to Paul Di Filippo, asking Siri for directions, and only getting useless replies — book lists, interviews, photos.

‬ ‬20 Sep 



I dreamt that, by taking part in a ritual I thought was only a work of performance art, I accidentally ended up inducted into the Mafia.

 ‬‬20 Sep 



I dreamt my father was both Isaac Asimov and Walter from Fringe, vibrating back and forth from one to the other. Don’t remember why, though.

‬ ‬19 Sep 



I dreamt I was driving my Jeep when a flash flood swept it away. I swam ashore, dragging my friends one by one. Not all of them survived.

‬‬ 18 Sep 



I dreamt I had committed a great crime, and walked the world averting my face, hoping I would not be recognized. No, I was not Walter White.

 ‬18 Sep 



I dreamt that while in Vegas, I stumbled into a restaurant that served the Platonic ideal of a hamburger, which I’ve yet to taste in life.

 ‬18 Sep 



I dreamt a friend, rescuing me from a teetering rock atop a towering plinth, saved me, but fell to his death. His screams were horrifying.

‬ 18 Sep

I dreamt I stepped out back, and instead of our usual yard, found a Grand Canyon-sized crevasse. On the other side, many fanciful buildings.

‬ 18 Sep

I dreamt Sheila Williams gave me a stuffed animal as a gift (I don’t know why), and we shoved and shoved until it squeezed into my wallet.

 ‬17 Sep 



I dreamt I worked at a store that sold fabric, and took an old lady’s arm so she could totter around examining our rainbow wall.

 17 Sep ‬ 



I dreamt I heard what I thought was a uke at a party, then saw it was a guitar. The guy told me it was tuned like a uke, so I tried anyway.

 ‬17 Sep

I dreamt I was supposed to introduce a speaker at the Nebulas, but the entire audience was already off partying and had to be called back.

 ‬17 Sep 



I dreamt that, late at night, I wandered the streets of a city I knew by heart, and found a block of Hungarian restaurants I’d never seen.

 ‬17 Sep 



I dreamt Roger Daltrey cursed out George R. R. Martin (I don’t know why), using language I don’t use in real life, so I won’t use it here.

‬ 17 Sep

I dreamt my father insisted I leave an event before it went nuts. I refused, saying: “Avoiding confrontation is not a life philosophy.”

‬ 17 Sep 



I dreamt fraud was uncovered at a company I’d worked for in the early ’80s, and was forced to flee. I was chased — but never caught though!

 ‬16 Sep 



I dreamt I was having drinks at a bar with Alfred Hitchcock, and read him Roald Dahl’s account of watching Psycho at a film festival.

 16 Sep

I dreamt my friend Allan and I crashed a HS graduation. If anyone challenged us, we claimed we were rarely seen substitute teachers.

 ‬16 Sep 



I dreamt I dropped by (former SF Age publisher) Sovereign Media and found the phones ringing and ringing. I answered one. It was for me.

 ‬16 Sep 



I’ve lost a dream because I don’t know what the middle-of-the-night scrawled note PARTY OF SWAT TRY TO SEE means now that I’m awake.

 ‬15 Sep 



I dreamt I attended a play at which the ushers who seated us suddenly began to sing and dance — they were the actors all along! ‬

14 Sep 



I’m afraid I’ve lost one of my dreams because my middle-of-the-night scrawl of BUMP FLIGHT LAWYER isn’t working as a catalyst as planned.

 ‬14 Sep 



I dreamt ‪@glorioushubris‬ and I were teaching at Clarion together and trying to decide on a prize to give whoever best completed an exercise.

‬ 14 Sep 



I dreamt I was in a crowded ballroom — a wedding, I think — where 90% of the people collapsed. The rest of us wanted to help … but how?

 ‬13 Sep 



I dreamt I was at a potluck with hundreds of dishes I hoped to sample — but only a single serving utensil. Torture!

 ‬13 Sep 



I dreamt I was at a ukulele event and handed sheet music for a song titled “Wickie Wacky Woo” I was supposed to learn. I woke before I did.

‬ 13 Sep 



I dreamt I was trying to figure out where I could have breakfast in London, and for some reason thought no restaurants would open before 10.
 ‬12 Sep 



I dreamt I shared seven flavors of ice cream I’d made in a Worldcon SFWA suite — butterscotch! — and woke when I realized it never melted.

 ‬12 Sep 



I dreamt I was at a crowded party and saw Nicole Kidman with a small child. Since he seemed bored, offered them the game Sorry. She refused.

 ‬12 Sep 



I dreamt I watched a fashion show with Tim Gunn. He hoped ‪@dichro‬’s futuristic entry of models draped with vat-grown body parts would win.

 ‬‬8 Sep 



I dreamt I found a tiny abandoned dog eating a chestnut by the side of the road. I decided to keep it, so unlike what I would really do.

 ‬7 Sep 

 



I dreamt I was hanging around backstage at SNL with Jason Sudeikis, kibitzing and cracking up the cast, of which I was apparently a part.

‬ 7 Sep 

 



I dreamt ‪@seananmcguire‬ and I were cohosting the Hugo Awards ceremony (no idea which city), and I’ve got to tell you, we were killing it.

‬ 7 Sep 



I dreamt I was wandering about with my uke singing the Bill Murray version of the Star Wars theme. Nowhere near as lounge lizardy though. ‬7 Sep 



I dreamt our house, as it is, was smack dab in the middle of a farm, and we couldn’t get to it because there was a tractor auction going on.‬

 ‬5 Sep