I’ve been busy lately, so it’s unusually late in August for me to be gathering up July’s dream tweets to see what poetry they might make all in one place.

Due to Readercon, Comic-Con, and the hacking cough given to me by the latter, I had fewer dreams to harvest during July than any other month I can remember. But still, I has visitations from Bette Midler, John Kessel, Bob Dylan, Dan Rather, Robert Guillaume, Tom Cruise and many others.

Welcome to my subconscious!

July 2013

I dreamt I underwent a physical exam in preparation for my visit to an alien world. Lots of poking and prodding. Never got there though! 31 Jul

I dreamt my son and I somehow got our hands on a huge Green Lantern power ring battery and only used it to project comic panels on the wall. 31 Jul

I dreamt @LenWein and I rode the subway from Brooklyn into Manhattan for a comic convention, only — we couldn’t remember the hotel’s name! 31 Jul

I dreamt I visited @NextRestaurant on my birthday, and was served a special dessert as a result. Don’t think the former likely, so dream on! 31 Jul

I dreamt present-day me waited for younger past me to wander by with his/our/my dad, and then we all posed for a photo. Paradoxes be damned! 31 Jul

I dreamt I was coughing endlessly, which I guess is progress of sorts, because I was only dreaming about it rather than actually doing it. 28 Jul

I dreamt that our table at a wedding was served a giant flan the size of the table! I took it upon myself to spoon chunks for each guest. 28 Jul

I dreamt I was trying to teach a course on the history of public libraries in America, but couldn’t control my class, so had to abandon it. 28 Jul

I dreamt I was Dan Rather, and in a deep philosophical discussion with Lena Dunham at a college party. What did we say? I don’t remember! 28 Jul

I dreamt I was a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, and when I attacked by five enemy agents, I successfully fended them off. But then there was a sixth! 28 Jul

I dreamt that in a grand public ceremony, I knelt and presented @neilhimself with an antique can opener while Dick Cheney watched. 26 Jul

I dreamt I was Facebook friends with the Beatles through a single Beatles account. They asked me to do a favor, but I can’t remember what. 25 Jul

I dreamt my friends and I kidnapped someone. I trembled when one of them sent me a link about it fearing clicking it would help us be found. 24 Jul

First post-SDCC dream: Current boss @CraigEngler and former boss @LenWein talking about how @Paul_Cornell turned into a Labrador retriever. 22 Jul

I dreamt I was Dexter, upset that LaGuerta had placed spy cameras all over the place. Rather than avoid them, I was about to disrupt them. 20 Jul

I dreamt @MaryRobinette and I were in a truck near a train that was derailing and knew we’d be hit. We assumed fetal positions and survived. 19 Jul

I dreamt John Kessel and I edited old timey literary magazines — each more than a century old — and debated tradition vs. innovation. 19 Jul

I dreamt I was a guide on a bus giving foreign tourists a tour of — I have no idea what — and instead made the driver show them my house. 18 Jul

I dreamt I was in a park with one of my writers, and when she picked a celosia, went on a rant about how the flowers belonged to ALL of us. 18 Jul

I dreamt @LenWein had some kind of house trouble, so we let him stay over, but he turned out to snore so loud I had to wear ear protection. 15 Jul

I dreamt a spaceship from the future parked in orbit around the Earth and beamed down TV from 2063 — which was mostly commercials. 10 Jul

I dreamt I was having a steak dinner with the survivors of a ’50s doowop group; old, but wearing the same matching outfits from their youth. 10 Jul

I dreamt I bumped into @MikeMarano in the waiting room of a Marvel Comics-themed hospital, the decor all superhero colors and themes. 10 Jul

I dreamt I bumped into Bob Dylan in front of a NYC theater that was screening Iron Man, and we talked about old time folk singers. 9 Jul

I dreamt I was Robert Guillaume, trapped filming a terribly unfunny TV show, but trying to be a professional and make the best of it. 8 Jul

I dreamt police burst into a con suite (not sure which one though) and began arresting people for drugs. And they were quite rough about it. 8 Jul

I dreamt I’d stolen a device that could defeat the aliens, and when they tried to blow me up, I dove into a lake to escape the shockwaves. 8 Jul

I dreamt that, having won an award, John Kessel gave a speech explaining his story, which included a line, “There is no such thing as love.” 6 Jul

I dreamt we drove through a neighborhood of frat houses, streets so packed with partying students they were difficult to navigate. 6 Jul

I dreamt Bette Midler came up and gave me a big hug, and I tried to figure out who she thought I was, not wanting to disappoint her. 5 Jul

I dreamt I was being photographed on the red carpet with Tom Cruise, and asked to slouch so I wouldn’t make him look short. 5 Jul

Sadly, this middle-of-the-night note sparks no memory of the dream: I WAS JESSE PINKMAN KICK OUT DISCOVER FRIEND WORRY EVIDENCE BE FOUND 3 Jul

I dreamt I was faxing articles about Readercon to friends, until I realized halfway through … who has a fax machine these days anyway? 2 Jul

I dreamt Oprah had an overwhelming crop of tomatoes and needed help, so I showed up with a ton of mason jars and helped her preserve them. 1 Jul

I dreamt that after working at a bank for many years, my boss laid me off with only 2 days severance. Our final conversation didn’t go well. 1 Jul

I dreamt I was stuck doing shots with a spy in an Iron Curtain country, and since I don’t drink, I thought, “How do I get out of this one?” 1 Jul