Yes, it’s that time again. June is no longer busting out all over, so it’s time to let all the Twitter dreams of that month rub up against each other to see whether that causes them to make more sense.

Last month, I dreamt of Jon Stewart, George R. R. Martin, Neil Patrick Harris, Sol Brodsky, and more …

June 2015

I dreamt I was in an episode of Game of Thrones which devolved into a table reading with a full orchestra nearby performing the soundtrack. Jun 30

I dreamt I gave my iPhone — with its front-facing camera activated — to a chimpanzee and watched him joyfully study himself for hours. Jun 29

I dreamt I ripped the covers off paperback books, taping them to other coverless paperback books. Why I was doing this … I have no idea. Jun 28

I dreamt I carried a HUGE sheet cake to a party, and it crumbled as I cradled it in my arms, turning into ammunition for a — FOOD FIGHT! Jun 28

I dreamt I made fruit salad with @Gachatz, which we then fed to a baby, who pulled pieces of fruit directly from our forks with tiny hands. Jun 27

I dreamt I arrived at a gaming venue but couldn’t find any other players, until after searching, found them getting stoned with Jon Stewart. Jun 27

I dreamt I dining at @NextRestaurant, and though I don’t remember the cuisine, dessert was the greatest Girl Scout Thin Mint cookie EVER. Jun 26

I dreamt my wife and I, wandering a small town, discovered a comics shop set to close the next day, filled with never-before-seen wonders. Jun 25

I dreamt I was in Australia, and while there, ran into an editor who suggested I apply for their newspaper’s open position as a food critic. Jun 25

I dreamt I was on a NYC train, my hands cupped and filled with many pounds of crispy bacon, on which the other passengers looked longingly. Jun 25

I dreamt I presented an award at a Stoker banquet, and inside the envelope, instead of the winner’s name, was: GO PATRIOTS! Which I shouted. Jun 24

I dreamt I owned a magic wand which could turn flat pictures into 3-D reality, and went around touching paper and bringing things to life. Jun 24

I dreamt I drove into a Worldcon con suite, my Jeep stuffed with everything needed to make s’mores, and handed it all out to a hungry crowd. Jun 24

I dreamt I cradled my months-old son, fed him Halloween candy, and asked him what costume he’d wear next year. (He was too young to answer.) Jun 23

I dreamt I lived in a old house with a wrap-around porch sagging from water damage, and I had to continually warn guests not to walk THERE. Jun 22

I dreamt I was locked in a basement to play a live-action zombie game, and as waves of the undead came at me, I flailed with mock weapons. Jun 22

I dreamt a serial killer was in my house. As rescuers came, each group larger than the previous one, they failed, and he killed them all. Jun 20

I dreamt I had to flee with my son, and he asked when we’d return. I told him: “I don’t even know if we’ll be on this PLANET next week.” Jun 19

I dreamt I looked up and saw the most beautiful nighttime sky EVER. I called my wife and she arrived to see it just before clouds rolled in. Jun 19

I dreamt I ran for my plane to get a good seat and only as I boarded did I realize I’d left my bag back at the gate. Not a thing I’d do IRL. Jun 19

I dreamt I was at the British Library and found a book with an afterword in which the writer stated I hadn’t understood his book at all. Jun 19

I dreamt I rode through a zoo’s gorilla habitat in a gondola, and the gorillas were allowed to climb in the gondolas with us to ride along. Jun 19

I dreamt I edited the latest issue of SCI FI magazine while stretched out on a long conference table, the rest of the staff ringed about me. Jun 19

I dreamt I told George R.R. Martin I wouldn’t start reading his A Song of Ice and Fire series until he was finished. He didn’t seem to mind. Jun 17

I dreamt I was frying steaks in a pan for guests, and as I did so, they turned into pork chops! The steaks not the guests. Confused, I woke. Jun 17

I dreamt I was on a panel with Harlan Ellison, who rejected the topic entirely and insisted we all talk about our favorite writers instead. Jun 17

I dreamt @haszombiesinit sent me a copy of her new book with an illegible letter which I tried and tried to read until the effort woke me. Jun 17

I dreamt I came across a wedding happening in the middle of a NYC street, and waded into the crowd to get a better look at the happy couple. Jun 17

I dreamt I was hired to be Jon Snow’s bodyguard in Game of Thrones. But this was the NICE version of Game of Thrones where no one ever dies. Jun 16

I dreamt that though I’d worked in the White House with Dick Cheney (in the dream, that is), security kept me away from his book signing. Jun 16

I dreamt that during a wedding, one of the grooms had a heart attack, and as he lay dying, Neil Patrick Harris ran off with his groom-to-be. Jun 15

I dreamt Worldcon took place in a state with legalized marijuana, so a bunch of us decided to get high on our panel. AND HILARITY ENSUED. Jun 13

I dreamt I was at an event where George H. W. Bush was deliberately ignoring George W. Bush, but I had no idea why there was friction. Jun 12

I dreamt we were being forced to leave an opera in Russia, and when I attempted to bribe a policeman to let us stay, it did NOT go well. Jun 12

I dreamt someone tried to push into my house, and when they slashed a knife through a crack in my door, I CAUGHT IT WITH MY BARE HANDS. Jun 11

I dreamt I applied for a job which I was then hired for only because I gave my nervous interviewer first a Xanax, and then a Valium. Jun 11

I dreamt I was moved in a new office at Marvel by a ridiculously young Sol Brodsky, and the view out my window hadn’t changed in 40 years. Jun 10

I dreamt I drove a carload of you off for donuts, and on the trip I bumped into a friend upset we weren’t going for chicken feet instead. Jun 5

I dreamt I was a HS drama teacher in a town where someone was killing the kids, and I figured out his identify and was about to expose him. Jun 4

I dreamt @mrbelm and I stole a huge white RV, and were hanging around a parking lot hoping not to get caught and making plans for … what? Jun 3

I dreamt my son was giving a piggyback to one of those big-headed Grey aliens, but since they were both smiling, I wasn’t was fine with it. Jun 3

I dreamt I brought a suitcase filled with foot-long plastic sculptures of horses to the Nebulas to sell to attendees. But … why? Jun 2

I dreamt I was in a NYC skyscraper, dancing around in front of a plate glass window, watching a drone watch me, responding to my every move. Jun 1

I dreamt I went back to my real-life public school P.S. 238 to give a talk, and ended up weeping onstage as I thought of my six years there. Jun 1

I dreamt I was in some kind of romcom — I think I was Chris Pratt — and said: “I can’t not say ‘I love you’ anymore — it hurts too much.” Jun 1

I dreamt a supermarket checkout clerk kept stuffing my purchases into small paper bags when big ones were needed, bursting them every time. Jun 1

I dreamt I rewatched the end of Breaking Bad, only it was now made up of clips from old movies with the original soundtrack laid over them. Jun 1

I dreamt that to protect myself from gangs of creepy roving clowns, I built and walked within a rolling, circular fence that kept them out. Jun 1

I dreamt I wandered city streets and kept finding piles of brightly colored eggs. But I only saved the gold ones, as a gift for … whom? Jun 1