It’s that time again! Another month is gone, so I’m gathering together all the dreams I shared on Twitter during May to see whether they make any more sense collected in one spot than they did individually.

Last month, I dreamt of Robert Silverberg, Bob Hope, H. P. Lovecraft, Elizabeth Taylor, Neil deGrasse Tyson, Joan Collins, and more …

MAY 2015

Napping, I dreamt I visited a shop that sold “pregnant” donuts — that is, donuts stuffed with other donuts’ donut holes. Make this real! May 31

I dreamt I searched for my wife while wearing an extremely lush and feathery chicken suit. Why? I have no idea. But I looked AMAZING. May 31

I dreamt I hosted a Worldcon room party, and served fresh churros. Kept worrying the hotel would shut me down because of the fryer, though. May 31

I dreamt I spotted my father through a crowd, and as we locked eyes, I thought: So it was all a mistake! He isn’t really dead! And we wept. May 31

I dreamt I checked my phone messages, and there was one from my wife shouting, “Wake up!” So I did. Her words, after all, are law. May 31

I dreamt my train was delayed because two pterodactyl-sized birds were battling on the tracks immediately in our path. So we had to wait. May 31

I dreamt I was a drunk Don Draper, sleeping it off on an office couch. When Bert Cooper invited me for lunch, and I knew it was to fire me. May 30

I dreamt a dog I was playing with smiled a human smile, only instead of being creepy, it was actually kind of endearing. May 30

I dreamt I was camping out with friends, but it quickly turned into a horror movie situation, as one by one they turned up dead. May 30

I dreamt I took part in a downhill bicycle race on a road along a mountainside. Things got so fast I was surprised I stayed on the road! May 30

I dreamt I was being given uke lessons by @AndyEastwoodUK in an auditorium with complicated fingering charts projected on a huge screen. May 30

I dreamt I’d suddenly gone back in time to the 1920s, and wandered a carnival thinking … well, I guess my iPhone is of no use here! May 29

I dreamt that as I was showing a museum curator my original comic book art, a yappy dog repeatedly jumped up, trying to snatch every page. May 29

I dreamt a bus driver friend asked me to fill in for him on his route and it did NOT go well at all, especially when I tried to park. Uh-oh! May 27

I dreamt we saw a weird-looking dog and when we asked the owner what kind of dog was that, and she told us, we didn’t understand her at all. May 27

I dreamt I was on a road trip with Geoff Landis, and we were getting nowhere fast. For some reason he drove 15-20 mph UNDER the speed limit. May 27

I dreamt I still worked in the Marvel Bullpen, @gerryconway was still Editor-in-Chief, and when a call came in for him, I couldn’t find him. May 27

I dreamt I bought a white suit decorated with the floating heads of Marvel superheroes, just like this old button. May 26


I dreamt I officiated at a memorial service for H.P. Lovecraft. And I don’t know his we got it, but we even had an urn containing his ashes! May 25

I dreamt I was sitting beside Robert Silverberg in a casino playing video poker. Meanwhile, Joe Haldeman slipped into the high-stakes room. May 25

I dreamt I told a sick friend (in a movie) that once he died, I’d kill myself: “I’m not allowing myself to live in a world without you.” May 24

I dreamt I wandered a con with a freshly laundered shirt on a hanger, all the time thinking, “Why am a carrying a freshly laundered shirt?” May 24

I dreamt @AnnoDracula and I gave a joint lecture at Oxford University about Doctor Who. And it was good. You should have been there. May 24

I dreamt I was chatting with Gardner Dozois and @KathleenGoonan, and she offered to pay all our future medical bills. How very nice of her! May 23

I dreamt I was Neil deGrasse Tyson, and I was giving a lecture about bamboo to a crowd in an exhibit hall full of it. Dreams imitate life! May 23

I dreamt I was doing science with Big Bang‘s Leonard and Stephen Fry. We were disappointed when radioactivity didn’t give us superpowers. May 23

I lost one of last night’s dreams because I no longer have any idea what I meant when I scribbled down WATCH PEOPLE STUFF. Too cryptic, me! May 22

I dreamt I helped Superman capture a band of Nazi scientists, but then, as we were bringing them in, the Ku Klux Klan tried to stop us. May 22

I dreamt zombies had breached the rear entrance of our compound, and when I tried to escape out front, they’d gotten in there, too. Not fun! May 22

I dreamt I bought tickets to see Katherine Dunn read from Geek Love at St. Peter’s Evangelical Lutheran Church (which seems oddly specific). May 21

I dreamt I was with Bob Hope and Bing Crosby in one of their Road pictures. It had a medieval setting, and we tried to escape a kingdom. May 21

I dreamt I was at a friend’s wedding and ended up dancing with Joan Collins all night and we wandered off together into the morning sun. May 20

I dreamt I lugged logs to a bonfire in a field of snow so that @Gachatz could cook something there. I woke before finding out what though. May 20

I dreamt I was at a hotel, needed my shirt cleaned, and in the lobby was a Rube Goldberg device that washed it, folded it, and bagged it. May 19

I dreamt @mrbelm blindfolded me, drove me around NYC, and asked me to guess where I was. Why? No idea. I guessed 38th and Second. Wrong! May 19

I dreamt @scalzi led a crowd through the halls of a convention center, eventually leading us to an exhibit on the history of Worldcon. May 17

I dreamt my son and I arrived at a train station in a foreign country. Each time we tried to exit, we ended up walking into a shop instead. May 17

I dreamt I was at Bob Silverberg’s house and Barry Malzberg showed up. (Or Malzberg’s house and Silverberg showed up.) Much talk followed. May 17

I dreamt I was in a foreign country taking a one-on-one language class … and was never sure what country I was in or what language it was. May 16

I dreamt I was a SNL cast member, helping play a prank on host Alan King, leading him through the halls to some payoff I never got to see. May 16

I dream I was a cook working a grill at an all-meat restaurant, slicing a full standing rib roast, handing out ribs and chunks of pig head. May 16

I dreamt my wife and I studied a map for a drive home from Brooklyn, only none of the land or roads were as they should be, confusing us. May 16

I dreamt I was about to do interviews on the set of a movie about the life of Vince Lombardi. The actor playing the Coach? Will Smith. May 15

I dreamt that while @Gachatz led an exercise class, @AdamRichman shouted encouragement. I’ve obviously been thinking too much about food …May 15

I dreamt my father, dead over six years IRL, appeared in the middle of a dream which had nothing to do with family just to give me a hug. May 15

I dreamt my wife, who worked at a fish processing plant, phoned to say she’d just embezzled $200 million, and we had to go on the run NOW! May 14

I dreamt I moved to Australia to edit an SF magazine, which went under, so I started writing a column for a U.S. newspaper ABOUT Australia. May 14

I dreamt I climbed a narrow spiral staircase to get to the top of the Statue of Liberty, and once there, discovered I was no longer in NYC. May 14

I dreamt I wandered North Korea, realized I had a Washington Post under one arm, and struggled to dispose of it before it got me in trouble. May 13

I dreamt I entered a short tunnel which exited in NYC, and though I started on a warm Spring day, I found Manhattan buried under snow. May 13

I dreamt I woke in a town where I was sure all but me and the guy running it were robots, and tried to prove it without destroying anything. May 11

I dreamt I was an extra in a movie @sinboy was filming on the streets of Brooklyn — a movie I remember nothing else about other that that! May 9

I dreamt I was a Daily Show writer, and Jon Stewart tested out a bit on me, then asked me to join him in it on air along with Wyatt Cenac. May 9

I dreamt I planted flowers with a group on a train embankment, and it was my job to scream “TRAIN!!!” as one came by so we could dodge it. May 6

I dreamt I arrived at @readercon, felt sick, and headed back home. But I did manage to hang in until my reading, so as not to disappoint. May 5

I dreamt @eileen_gunn shared a manuscript with me about the Kennedys. She said she was writing an entire short story collection about them! May 5

I dreamt I was hired to be a background extra in a movie, and tried to be animated but not so animated as to be distracting to the scene. May 3

I dreamt I met two kids visiting from overseas. When they pointed out on a world map where they were from, it was like no map I’d ever seen. May 3

I dreamt that on my last day editing SCI FI magazine, I helped the next editor by designing the covers for the next year’s worth of issues. May 3

I dreamt I ate the world’s most perfect bagel, the Platonic ideal … then woke sad, upset all bagels now fell short against my dream bagel. May 3

I dreamt that as the president walked by, I saluted him, which he took to mean I was a soldier, so he thanked me for my service. (I wasn’t.) May 3

I dreamt I was hanging out with Louis C.K. after an apocalypse, lamenting the fact that no episodes of his show survived whatever befell us. May 3

I dreamt Elizabeth Taylor (in her prime) dropped by, and needed me to help her remember song lyrics … which I wish I could remember NOW. May 1