May was one of my lightest months ever in terms of remembered dreams, a product of attending both the World Horror Convention in Portland and the Nebula Awards weekend in San Jose—and taking redeye flights back home both times. The resulting exhaustion meant there was about a week and a half during which I remembered nothing.

I still managed to encounter Hodor, the Queen of England, Bill Paxton and Eddie Murphy, though, as the following tweets reveal …

May 2014 Dreams

I dreamt I was at a corporate meeting debating whether our Tumblr should be all images of bananas or peaches. Which sounds kinda sexual now. May 31

I dreamt my wife and I, struggling to find a restaurant we’d both enjoy, ended up at a joint which only served hoagies stuffed with fries. May 31

I dreamt I worked in a newsroom, and when there was a hubbub, I said, “That had to be because Princess Di had her baby.” And I was right! May 31

Another dream lost because this middle-of-of-night note sparks no memories — RECORDED SONG CD WOULD NOT [followed by three illegible words] May 29

I lost two of last night’s dreams because I can no longer understand the meaning of scribbled night notes. Like — 50+ YR EMP RETIRE PARTY May 29

I dreamt my son and I were at a newsstand filled with many back issues of MAD that never existed IRL — but I woke before I could read them. May 29

I dreamt I was on my way to a con panel the program book called, “Writing Characters That Aren’t Prospero.” But isn’t that 99.999% of them? May 28

I dreamt I was presented with a trophy — though I no longer remember by whom — that was a working blender with a bronze plaque attached. May 28

I dreamt I wandered a humongous Las Vegas hotel trying to find my room in its maze of halls. But I never did, and woke while walking. May 28

I dreamt I sat at a round table with the Queen of England as she very carefully, very patiently, taught me the proper way to fold napkins. May 28

Lost a dream because I have no longer have any idea what my middle-of-the-night note “CHINESE DINNER NOTICE ON JOB” signifies. May 27

I lost one of my dreams because I no longer have any idea what this middle-of-the-note note means: GATHERED ALL [ILLEGIBLE] THAT MATTERED May 26

I dreamt I watched a wild high-speed police chase — but there’d be no arrest if the driver could reach and park in a particular spot. May 26

I dreamt I visited a serial killer in prison — repeatedly — each time wearing a different outfit originally worn by one of his victims. May 26

I dreamt I saw my wife in conversation, then in tears. So I demanded “Why is my wife crying after talking to you?” Woke without finding out. May 24

I dreamt we went to a beautifully odd restaurant where every dish was served in, over, or under a musical instrument. Food-filled toy piano! May 24

I dreamt I was at a pro baseball game, and the same batter kept hitting foul ball after foul ball directly to me. Which seemed kinda weird. May 22

I dreamt I watched a version of Lost entirely populated by early season SNL cast members. Jack was played by a young 1975-era Chevy Chase. May 22

I dreamt my brothers and I traveled cross country on a secret mission to save the world. We were found out, and had to flee a motel FAST. May 21

I dreamt I was double-crossed by a drug dealer, though I don’t remember how or why — only that, oddly, it had nothing to do with drugs. May 21

I dreamt I drove a fancy schmancy Batmobile-like car, which was great, except — I kept getting stuck in the snow! May 21

I dreamt I was at @NextRestaurant, where @Gachatz was preparing our meal on a griddle, Benihana-style, and tossing food with his utensils. May 13

I dreamt Bill Paxton pulled a gun on me — not the Paxton from Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., but the one from Big Love. I have no idea why. May 13

I dreamt this morning I was eating the amazing wings at @pokpokpdx. Which is kind of a wasted dream, since I’ll be doing it IRL tomorrow! May 8

In which I travel back through time to ask my cousin Herb Edelman a question which has long puzzled me. http://www.scottedelman.com/2014/05/06/in-dream-my-cousin-herb-answers-a-question-which-has-been-puzzling-me/ May 8

I dreamt I played the song “Freight Train” over and over on the uke trying to get it right. Which I can do right now in real life if I want! May 5

I dreamt I sat around with a bunch of friends arguing about the correct pronunciation of dysentery. One of the most boring dreams EVER. May 5

I dreamt I was at a county fair, and as it closed for the night, a rocket, horizontal, slowly descended underneath a humongous parachute. May 4

I dreamt I had one of those silly rubber toys which when squeezed, the eyes bulge out, but no matter how much I squeezed, they wouldn’t! May 4

I dreamt I walked the streets of San Diego with Hodor and Tyrion Lannister on our way to a Comic-Con panel, attracting a LOT of attention. May 4

I dreamt I was stabbed through the throat, and I called out to my wife nearby, “I’m dying,” but she couldn’t hear me through the gurgling. May 4

I dream that Variety and the Hollywood Reporter mistakenly printed my obituary, and I complained to college classmate @HowardKurtz about it. May 3

I dreamt a couple of guys stole my car keys and then tried to steal my car — I grabbed a window and flipped it over on its roof barehanded. May 2

I dreamt I wandered the Brooklyn of my childhood looking for a bakery that likely only existed in my dream mind. I woke without finding it. May 2

I dreamt Eddie Murphy pulled up and started insulting me for hanging out with Urkel, forcing me to defend my friend. Finally, he drove away. May 1