I haven’t posted here recently because prepping for Saturday’s daffodil party (about which more later) took up almost all of my time. But as I get back up to speed, here are last month’s collected dreams as originally shared on Twitter. I always find they make a bit more poetic sense when placed up against each other like this.

Last month’s dreams starred the Queen of England, Harlan Ellison, Laurence Olivier, Stan Lee, Oprah Winfrey and others.

Delve into my subconscious … if you dare.

March 2014


Many dreams last night, almost entirely lost. Only snippets remain, without context: Jack Dann, Louis C.K., a unicorn, my son a toddler.
 Mar 31

I dreamt I was a car thief challenged by a TV show to punk Ben Affleck by stealing his. It took me until the very last second to succeed.
 Mar 30

I dreamt I ate a pint of ice cream while riding in a car with Hurley. He wanted some, but I wouldn’t share my spoon. Luckily, he found one.
 Mar 30

I dreamt I arrived at a swimming pool to find hundreds of noisy kids … and the Queen of England in full regalia. We discussed her agenda.
 Mar 30

I dreamt I was at Comic-Con waiting to interview Harlan Ellison about his new comics miniseries tying together the entire Marvel universe.
 Mar 28

I dreamt I was standing in front of an airport departures board ready to board the next flight to whichever destination was the most exotic.
 Mar 28

I dreamt I was microwaving tons of popcorn — but not to eat. I was using it as packing material because we were moving.
 Mar 27

I dreamt my car was suddenly coated with ice. I stopped, but was trapped inside, so I put on the blinkers and hoped I wouldn’t get hit. 
Mar 27

I dreamt my grown son entertained guests by banging out “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” with mallets on a toy xylophone. Mar 27

I dreamt I was unpacking bags of groceries and loading the freezer in the dark, and my wife shouted to knock at off — it was 2:00 a.m.!
 Mar 27

I dreamt I was at an airport about to fly to Japan and began scanning everybody else’s boarding passes. The gate agents were NOT happy.
 Mar 27

I dreamt I was Peter Jennings, interviewing two survivors of war about why they planned to tell their children nothing of their experiences.
 Mar 26

I dreamt I tried to pay my hotel bill at Fawlty Towers, but each time I gave Manuel my credit card, it somehow ended up back in my hand.
 Mar 26

I dreamt I was attending the Nebula Awards weekend when a cab arrived to take me to the airport — but the banquet hadn’t happened yet! v
Mar 25

I dreamt I was giving a some school kids a tour of the Ocean Parkway neighborhood where I grew up and telling them of the old timey days. 

Mar 25

I dreamt I raced through an airport in South Africa when I spotted Michael Bishop and we had an “I wish I’d known you were here” moment.
 
Mar 25

I dreamt that the ocean was inexplicably outside my window, and I watched as a jumbo jet swooped down to pluck a car out of the waves. 

Mar 24

I dreamt a friend warned it was too late to head downstairs, so her mother and I looked at each other, nodded, then went there and danced!
 
Mar 24

I dreamt you were no longer allowed be disparaging online (you couldn’t even diss chocolate ice cream). I wondered how long that would last.
 
Mar 24

I dreamt Stan Lee said he’d meet me later to sign some old comics, and a friend drove me in circles through the city until we found him.
 
Mar 24

I dream I showed off my new waistcoat, embroidered with a (since forgotten) quote from Pride and Prejudice, and you all ooohed and ached.
 
Mar 24

I dreamt at Shopsin’s, I asked, “What’s the one thing you wish someone would order, but they never do?” I woke before they made it for me!
 
Mar 23

I dreamt that while at a uke convention, I was introduced to a nervous newcomer and warned — due to poor health he shouldn’t be surprised.
 
Mar 23

I dreamt my friends and I acted out a spontaneous improvised murder mystery that began on the NYC subway and continued at Forbidden Planet. 

Mar 23

I dreamt that during a fancy meal (mushrooms set on fire!) with @mrbelm, I wandered off and got lost, and never made it back for dessert!
 
Mar 22

I dreamt I visited a comics shop where I discovered walls lined with magazines that don’t exist IRL. Wanted to buy them all!
 
Mar 21

I dreamt I wandered a huge city late at night until my feet began to hurt and I realized — I’m barefoot! No idea what happened to my shoes.
 
Mar 21

I dreamt I was a new teacher chastised for not taking part in endless bureaucratic meetings. But I’m just here for the kids, I told them.
 
Mar 21

I dreamt a pregnant friend went into labor in a small town, but once I found out where the hospital was and turned around — she was gone!
 
Mar 21

I dreamt @scalzi and I ended up in adjoining hotel rooms during some con, and as a result, hijinks ensued — but now I can’t remember them!
 
Mar 21

I dreamt I was at a PR event for a new Star Wars trilogy with Len Wein, Christine Valada + Marv Wolfman, standing around a giant roast pig. 

Mar 20

I dreamt I was on a @Readercon panel with Michael Swanwick, but our wisdom kept getting interrupted by Michael Marano over a loudspeaker.
 
Mar 19

I dreamt I invited Adam Swiderski, the guy who followed me on @Blastr, over for dinner at my Mom’s house. No idea why I wanted them to meet!
 
Mar 19

I dreamt I was a pallbearer for some unidentified celebrity, and as we lifted the coffin, we all sang, “You Can’t Always Get What You Want.”
 
Mar 18

I dreamt I found a box of old comics that never existed IRL and happily settled in to read them. (Unfortunately, they were all Charltons.) 

Mar 17

I dreamt I was a zombie shuffling after Oprah Winfrey. She didn’t seem to mind, didn’t try to escape, and didn’t at all care that I bit her.
 
Mar 17

I dreamt I was backstage at the Academy Awards, holding my Oscar trophy and mingling with other winners. But I had no idea what I’d won for!
 
Mar 16

I dreamt I spotted Joss Whedon while power walking through a mall … only for some reason he pretended to everyone he was Bill Gates.
 
Mar 16

I dreamt I listened to a band in which each instrument sounded like a different instrument — the fiddle made sounds like a saxophone!
 
Mar 14

I dreamt a scientist was presenting his paper on how prehistoric peoples used to hunt, kill, and eat dinosaurs … but I was skeptical.
 
Mar 14

I dreamt that, one late night, a tour guide told us how horribly early we’d need to wake up the next morning, and we were NOT happy about it.
 
Mar 14

I dreamt that while walking down a city street at night, I found John Kessel and Nina Kiriki Hoffman sitting on the hood of a car, chatting.
 
Mar 13

I dreamt a baby fell in front of a speeding train and I leapt after without thinking — but some unknown force teleported us to safety.
 
Mar 13

I dreamt that I wandered @Readercon with @mrbelm, I suggested we collaborate on a musical about @Alinea using the tunes from “Camelot.”
 
Mar 12

I dreamt I napped with a dog on my chest, and each time I woke I found it staring at me. Those who know me know why this would never happen.
 
Mar 11

I dreamt I read an issue of @Wired magazine which touted all sorts of fun gadgets, none of which was real or available outside of my dreams!
 
Mar 10

I dreamt I was hectoring my son — who’s far more computer savvy than me IRL — because he had no email address. And created one for him.
 
Mar 10

I dreamt I was a techie helping doctors who were supervising the first robotic jaw replacement. I’d rather have dreamed of being the robot.
 
Mar 10

I dreamt two old friends threatened to kill me, and I managed to record those threats, then somehow escape. As I ran away, I phoned 911.
 
Mar 10

I dreamt I designed a large inexpensive plastic square which, when held overhead, allowed me to hover. Obviously, people tried to steal it.
 
Mar 9

I dreamt I discovered a street on which every restaurant was from the 1800s in a variety of cuisines. Woke before I could make my choice.
 
Mar 9

I dreamt I found a street fair with awesome food, yet each time I brought a morsel to my lips, it fell from my fingers and hit the pavement.
 
Mar 9

I dreamt Barry Malzberg visited and we headed into D.C. to tour both the Children’s Museum and the Holocaust Museum, a study in contrasts.
 
Mar 9

I dreamt I interviewed Paul Ryan, who didn’t make any goddamned sense at all. When I tried to explain to others what he’d said, I couldn’t.
 
Mar 8

I dreamt that @Shunn and I were at the @Loncon3 Hugo Awards ceremony where we each slapped down a five-pound note to bet on the outcome.
 
Mar 8

I dreamt I wandered my old Junior High School in search of the suit — and ukulele — I needed in order to be able to attend a wedding.
 
Mar 7

I dreamt I dropped by Clarion, where I sang the Merry Marvel Marching Society song to pump up the class while Gordon Van Gelder watched.
 
Mar 7

I dreamt I was in Kevin Spacey’s dressing room after having watched his King Lear, listening as Laurence Olivier critiqued the performance.
 
Mar 7

I dreamt an old boss said he was about to tell me something about myself that no one else would tell me — but I woke up before he told me!
 
Mar 6

I dreamt I was at the mall, working for a S.H.I.E.L.D.-like organization, trying to capture as many miniature robot spiders as I could.
 
Mar 6

I dreamt @doctorow helped me build myself a prosthetic sonic emitter hand like that Fantastic Four villain Klaw. pic.twitter.com/rROt3mLRGr
 
Mar 6

I dreamt I was having a peaceful dinner at Comic-Con when Malcolm from Malcolm in the Middle kept interrupting us and refusing to go away.
 
Mar 5

I dreamt I was Courteney Cox, shooting my husband’s lover with a revolver, then reloading and shooting some more. Where did THAT come from?
 
Mar 5

I dreamt I was at a street fair trying to buy scones — but the vendor kept taking bites out of the ones I wanted before handing them to me!
 
Mar 4

I dreamt I was channel-surfing and found an F Troop-like TV show starring Martha Raye embarrassingly dressed in Native American garb.
 
Mar 4

I dreamt I discovered two log cabins on my property that weren’t there yesterday, and decided to renovate and turn them into restaurants.
 
Mar 4

I dreamt I was in a con audience holding up my hand forever and ever, but decided if I was called I’d yield to @tinytempest, also ignored. 

Mar 4

I dreamt something went wrong with the dessert at the Nebula banquet, so Betsy Mitchell stepped up and baked enough cake for all of us!
 
Mar 2

I dreamt my father (gone, alas, IRL) argued with a waiter about having been overcharged by 25 cents, when I just wanted to get out of there. 

Mar 2

I dreamt I was hired to replace Joss Whedon as director of a Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie, and started by watching the footage he’d shot.
 
Mar 2

I dreamt I ranted outside the Library of Congress, angry they wouldn’t let Woody Guthrie (alive in the dream, I guess) perform there.
 
Mar 2

I dreamt I was a post-apocalyptic freedom fighter, my body tattooed with instructions for you on how to defeat our overlords should I die.
 
Mar 1