I remembered fewer dreams last month than usual, thanks to the exhaustion brought on by Worldcon and UkeFest. But what I did harvest from my subconscious is still interesting … to me at least. And since I like to see what poetry they make rubbing up against each other, rather than just singly on Twitter as they were originally shared, I’ve collected them here.

Last month, I dreamed of Walter White, Yao Ming, Buddy Ebsen, Margaret Thatcher and more. Let’s see, shall we?

AUGUST 2013

I dreamt I was driving through Boston when I suddenly found myself in the middle of the marathon — heading the wrong way! No one got hurt.

 28 Aug 


I dreamt I helped Boardwalk Empire‘s Gillian Darmody get an abortion. There was lots of blood and lots of screaming and it was terrifying.



 28 Aug 

 




I dreamt I was working in a cubicle farm at 2:00 a.m., and when someone came looking for a coworker, said everyone else went home hours ago.



 28 Aug 

 




I dreamt my grandfather the bookie was beating up women, and I fumbled through drawers for a pistol to threaten him and make him stop.



 28 Aug 

 




I dreamt I was Who‘s next Doctor — not Peter Capaldi, but me, or someone like me — and when I introduced myself to fans, they freaked out.



 28 Aug 

 




I dreamt I was visiting friends at their Jerusalem home, but then we were suddenly in China, and after that, Japan. Geographical confusion!



 27 Aug 

 


I dreamt I was a mortgage underwriter, rearranging tall stacks of loan applications, struggling to figure out which I should analyze first.



 27 Aug 

 




I dreamt I wandered Macy’s and found Macklemore and Lewis setting up for an appearance. No one else showed, so they performed for only me.



 27 Aug 

 

I dreamt I was attacked by Boardwalk Empire‘s George Remus, but our fight ended when he had a heart attack and collapsed at my feet.



 27 Aug 

 




I dreamt I was at the announcement of the discovery of new Apocrypha that would change everything, but woke before I learned the details.



 27 Aug 

 




I dreamt that as I tuned my uke, no matter what I did with the pegs, the strings got looser and looser until they fell off. A uke nightmare!



 26 Aug 




I dreamt I wandered the streets strumming my uke, wanting to play certain songs and wishing I had music, because I couldn’t remember them.



 26 Aug


I dreamt I delivered a decorated sheet cake to William Shatner’s hotel room, but then he upset me (don’t remember why), so I smashed it.



 26 Aug 




I dreamt I was among uke pals in Blackpool strumming at a George Formby Society con, but oddly, my science fiction friends were there, too.



 26 Aug 




I dreamt a Michelin-starred chef didn’t have the equipment he needed to make meringues, so I lent cookware and ingredients and pitched in.



 25 Aug


I dreamt a dump truck of soil was delivered and as I shoveled it out, I found a wad of $50 bills. Then a check, so I knew I’d return it all.



 23 Aug 




I dreamt I was a young female reporter at a police corruption press conference, impressed as Eileen Brennan asked all the tough questions.



 23 Aug 




I dreamt I was at the mall, where I spent most of my time looking for a parking space, searching for my wife, trying to find my car again.



 23 Aug 




I dreamt I was in Boyd Crowder country, loading bullets into a pistol, and wishing I had both more ammunition and more guns.



 23 Aug


I dreamt I visited a candy shop which had a batch of mandarin chocolate available (per a sign) only because a pregnant woman rejected it.



 22 Aug 




I dreamt my son played in the surf as the ocean receded. He followed it into the distance until it rushed back again — I had to rescue him.



 22 Aug 




I dreamt I was at a meeting of world leaders, representing the U.S., taking notes. Margaret Thatcher was still alive, and there, too.



 21 Aug


I dreamt my car was surrounded by giant groundhogs up on their hind legs and peering through the windows, refusing to let me proceed.

 

 20 Aug


I dreamt I was Walking Dead‘s Andrea, captured by a scientist and experimented on, turned into a zombie and then back into a human again.

 

 19 Aug


I dreamt I was Buddy Ebsen, as Jed Clampett, on the Beverly Hillbillies set with a guy who thought he REALLY was Mr. Drysdale. It felt meta.

 

 19 Aug




I dreamt I was a cinematographer on a dystopic movie, having difficulty framing the shot the director calls for. Dream tech always fails me.

 

 18 Aug


I dreamt I was driving to the Grand Canyon with someone I didn’t really want on such a trip, so I grew more annoyed with each passing mile.



 16 Aug


I dreamt I was in the Marvel Bullpen watching as John Romita Sr. touched up a huge stat of a single Jack Kirby panel for some public event.

 

 14 Aug 




I dreamt I cosplayed at Comic-Con for the first time, dressed as … the Baxter Building! It was very tough maneuvering through the crowds.

 

 13 Aug


I dreamt I found an Avengers comic I’d never seen before with a wonderful Hulk vs. Thing battle drawn by John Buscema. But it doesn’t exist!



 11 Aug


I dreamt I wandered into a coffee shop, spotted a pre-vampiric Steve Newlin, and sat down at his table. He was NOT pleased to see me.



 11 Aug


I dreamt I was Walter White, only with the power to see the future, and I had a vision of myself strangling Skyler in our baby’s nursery.

 11 Aug 


I dreamt I recounted my trip to Egypt to a bunch of old people at a synagogue who weren’t happy I’d toured there instead of Israel. 3 Aug 




I dreamt I worked in a hospital, and as people turned to zombies, I raced toward the roof to be saved. And it was Halloween, so — costumes!

 3 Aug


I dreamt I ran into Yao Ming — who was VERY tall — and talked to him about nothing but the Cronut he’d recently stood in line to eat. Odd.

 3 Aug


I dreamt I was onstage for a curtain call — and I must have been a lead, because I pulled the orchestra to the stage to take bows as well.

 3 Aug


I dreamt an old friend apologized for having burned me with a laser, and was stunned that I had no scar and didn’t remember the incident. 

1 Aug


I dreamt I was revived in the far future after having been frozen, but when they discovered I had no insurance, they wanted to refreeze me.

 1 Aug