I have an extremely active dream life, and those that I remember I share each morning on Twitter. Once a month, I harvest them from the rest of my tweets and share them here. So below is what went through my sleeping mind during April.

My guest stars included Elaine Stritch, Jamie Foxx, John Barrowman, Woody Allen, Ray Bradbury, Paul Newman, Mad Men’s Roger Sterling, and more.

Step into last month’s subconscious …

APRIL 2013



I dreamt that as I headed to an opera house, I saw ‪@doctorow rushing the other way, having forgotten his ticket. We agreed to speak later. 30 Apr

I dreamt I was part of a drug deal gone bad, but somehow was able to get away and hide in an alley until it all blew over. 28 Apr

I dreamt I was with ‪@mrbelm at a party run by the people behind that world’s 50 best restaurants list, but couldn’t get to any of the food! 28 Apr

I dreamt I was carrying my father’s coffin from the hearse to the gravesite, and one of the pallbearers was Mad Men’s Roger Sterling.

 28 Apr

I dreamt I was on a courtesy computer in a hotel lobby with ‪@amelia_beamer, searching fruitlessly for an article I’d hoped to show her.

 27 Apr

I dreamt I attended Xavier’s School for Gifted Mutants, and all around me, kids pranked each other. I never found out my own power though.

 26 Apr

I dreamt that after my waitress brought my entree, I noticed she was — Elaine Stritch! So I jumped up and hugged her and wouldn’t let go.

 25 Apr

I dreamt a man with a razor tried to mug me on a deserted nighttime street, but I kept spinning out of his reach and eventually got away.

 25 Apr

I dreamt I was given a tour of an extremely odd museum, about which I remember little, save for the surreal room of deflated balloons.

 25 Apr

I dreamt I spotted a kidnapper with his child victim in a bus station. When he seemed distracted, I tackled him and held until police came.

 24 Apr

I dreamt someone came into a shop with a rifle and began shooting. I wasn’t hit, but someone who was fell on me, so I pretended I was dead.

 24 Apr

I dreamt my wife dropped me off on Flatbush Avenue with a VCR tape I needed to return, and I wandered, unable to find the video store.

 24 Apr

I dreamt Paul Newman asked me how my three kids were doing, and even though (in the dream) I only had two, I didn’t want to correct him.

 23 Apr

I dreamt I arrived home to my apt. and picked up packages from neighbors — ‪@effjayem across the hall, ‪@Liz_Hand and ‪@john_clute next door.

 22 Apr

I dreamt I showed Irene magazine pics of an opera house done up in gold and red velvet — and suddenly we were there, descending the stairs!

 22 Apr

I dreamt a Chihuly-like sculpture representing my sins was lowered from the ceiling. I smashed it and collected the shards to catalog later.

 22 Apr

I dreamt I listened as ‪@BillWillingham sang a song called “Whatever Happened to the Spring?” in the style of Richard Burton’s “Camelot.”

 21 Apr

I dreamt I’d lost to Rick Perry in a primary (odd, there’s no way we’d ever be in the same party) and gave him advice on what to do next.

 21 Apr

I dreamt Ray Bradbury and I were up on stage, improvising a duet, singing about brotherhood and how we should all just learn to get along.

 21 Apr

I dreamt I was in the hospital (don’t know why) sharing a room with Stephen Colbert. When he was released first, I was quite miffed.

 20 Apr

I dreamt I walked through the house I lived in circa 1990 and found my father and son, as they were then, smiling and brushing their teeth.

 20 Apr

I dreamt two friends who were supposed to have plastic surgery showed up still looking like their old selves and wouldn’t explain why.

 19 Apr

I dreamt I was in the office of Treme‘s Toni Bernette when it began flooding, and ran outside with her to start stacking sandbags.

 19 Apr

I dreamt I was set loose with friends in a deliberately cluttered house that was actually a mystery puzzle, seeded with clues to solve it.

 19 Apr

I dreamt my wife and I arrived at an Italian restaurant highly recommended by friends, but just as we settled in, I woke. Never got a taste!

 19 Apr

I dreamt I dropped by ‪@ceciliatan‘s apartment to marvel at the waterfalls she’d installed, and to dismantle them so I could bring them home.

 19 Apr

I dreamt ‪@TomBrevoort invited me to a Marvel Bullpen reunion, and sent along special license plates I’d need to access the parking lot.

 18 Apr

I dreamt I walked down a narrow, snowy country road, slipping and sliding and having to squeeze to one side so cars could get by. Barely.

 18 Apr

I dreamt I was talking to my brother about my father, in that moment forgetting Dad was dead, and then … remembering. Unwelcome knowledge.

 18 Apr

I dreamt I was in a dealers room selling my son’s old comics and TV show scripts. Problem though — I had no idea what prices to ask.

 17 Apr

I dreamt I was a waiter, and brought in homemade bread and corned beef for lunch, hoping to impress the owner and get a promotion. I failed.

 17 Apr

I dreamt I was in my ’70s Park Slope apartment, hurriedly getting ready for work — yet not at Marvel, which it would have been. But where?

 17 Apr

I dreamt I was chatting with Paul di Filippo and ‪@EllenDatlow at Readercon — then she pulled the bookmark out of my F&SF and lost my place.

 17 Apr

I dreamt that while taking out the trash at my NYC brownstone (yeah, right), I returned to find a FOR SALE sign out front and was baffled.

 16 Apr

I dreamt I worked as a photo editor at a science mag, and was working with a photographer to tweak her pic of 100s of galaxies in Photoshop.

 16 Apr

I dreamt I went to an office, but couldn’t find a place to work, because EVERY cubicle contained someone pitching a Kickstarter campaign.

 14 Apr

I dreamt that as I wandered, everyone I saw was eating scooter pies, even those I know who shouldn’t and wouldn’t eat scooter pies.

 14 Apr

I dreamt my wife hired John Barrowman to act as emcee for a musical being performed in honor of our anniversary. Lots of good singing!

 14 Apr

I dreamt I was sitting with the ms. of an old unpublished novel of mine, editing it for submission, and decided — no, this cannot be saved.

 12 Apr

I dreamt I was up for an Oscar, but what seemed to excite me the most was when my boxed head appeared on the screen with the other nominees.

 12 Apr

I dreamt I reread the first dozen issues of Fantastic Four, which I stored loose in a plastic shopping bag in my shed. Horrifying, right?

 11 Apr

I dreamt I played pro baseball, and looked sadly out at our field on opening day. The infield was a swamp! And we didn’t know how to fix it.

 9 Apr

I dreamt a guy tried to hire me to return something for him to a store he knew would give him trouble, but I turned him down. Not my thing.

 9 Apr

I dreamt I substituted at the last minute in a friend’s play. Did fine, but when it was over, confused by the order of the curtain calls.

 9 Apr

I dreamt Craig Yoe won an award for a Jim Aparo bio, and he had me go up to accept on his behalf. When I woke, I thought: Jim Aparo? Really?

 8 Apr

I dreamt I entered a banquet hall with Geoff Landis and Mary Turzillo, and wished her good luck, because she was nominated for an award.

 5 Apr



I dreamt I lectured the Eleventh Doctor — not Matt Smith, but the actual Doctor himself — about pride, and earned vs. unearned confidence.

 5 Apr

I dreamt I was filming a scene with William Shatner, who kept stepping on my lines by shouting “It’s a wrap!” at the end of each of his.

 4 Apr

I dreamt I stood around a BBQ with my Dad (dead 4+ years now) grilling thin strips of meat. I had no sense he’d ever died. He just … was.

 4 Apr

I dreamt I was a teenager sorta like Breaking Bad’s Jesse, and was quite nervous as the police stopped me by a train to search my backpack.

 4 Apr

I dreamt my wife was placed in witness protection — I watched her shoved in a limo trunk and driven away. I didn’t even get to say goodbye!

 4 Apr

I dreamt Irene and I were on a foreign wilderness tour — and for some reason I pushed my possessions through the woods in a shopping cart.

 3 Apr

I dreamt Stan Lee and I were on a kids TV show where we held hands and sang “When the Saints Go Marching In” while taking part in a parade.

 1 Apr

I dreamt I was in an office talking to the Jamie Foxx In Living Color character Wanda Wayne, but then realized it really WAS Jamie Foxx.

 1 Apr

I dreamt I was Woody Allen, defending the final cut of my Star Wars doc to studio execs who thought I should never have tackled the project.

 1 Apr