Another month is over, which means it’s time to gather all of the previous month’s dreams and see whether anything is gained by letting them rub up against each other. March’s guest stars included James Earl Jones, George R. R. Martin, Jorge Garcia, Harlan Ellison, Jesse Jackson … and maybe you.

MARCH 2012

I dreamt I sat with @ColleenLindsay (and forgotten others) on a large sectional couch made of pancakes, discussing the future of publishing. 31 Mar

I dreamt I was in a vast NYC lobby when there were shouts about a woman being kidnapped. I tackled and pinned the guy until police arrived. 28 Mar

I dreamt I worked at Newsweek, and the editors grew angry with me when I appeared on the cover wearing a hoodie. Not sure what it all meant. 28 Mar

I dreamt I tried unsuccessfully to calm my (nonexistent in real life) teen daughter, upset I’d read some of her stories without permission. 27 Mar

I dreamt I fried a veal chop in oil while Woody Harrelson critiqued my every move, telling me I wasn’t showing enough respect for the veal. 26 Mar

I dreamt of bunch of Amish guys had cleared the land across the way and were constructing a subdivision … which meant it was time to move. 25 Mar

I dreamt the world went all post-apocalyptic. As I made a run for it, I grabbed my uke, which seems odd, since I’ve only had it four months. 24 Mar

I dreamt that after using a steampunk samurai sword to dispatch assassins by my mailbox, then came the hard part — disposing of the bodies. 24 Mar

Some of last night’s dreams are but fragments: dropping an expensive camera in a rushing river (but where and why?); The Rock (doing what?) 23 Mar

I dreamt I was with Jorge Garcia as he had his first meal at a rib joint he’d just invested in. (Though maybe I _was_ Jorge Garcia. Unsure.) 23 Mar

I dreamt gorillas ran wild outside. It was beautiful until they figured out how to turn knobs. Had to lean against doors to keep them out. 23 Mar

I dreamt I was a contestant on a George Formby quiz show. Before asking questions, they had me play the uke. I did better than in real life. 22 Mar

I dreamt I spotted @DavidAlanMack carrying a litter of puppies, trying unsuccessfully to give them away. A UPS guy took one. But that’s it. 22 Mar

I dreamt I created a story collage that covered the entire ballroom floor of a convention hotel, and people walked across it to read it. 22 Mar

I dreamt that while wandering the Yucatan by bus, I ran into a guy named Bruce who I supposedly went to HS with. But I had no memory of him. 22 Mar

I dreamt I was in my hotel room at a con hotel, struggling not to collapse, because I knew there was a party going on out there somewhere. 20 Mar

I dreamt so many of us were stranded in an airport due to weather, I did up a poster and we held a con. Walter Jon Williams was toastmaster. 20 Mar

I dreamt I watched old timey newsreels on a vintage TV when my dad tried adjusting the rabbit ears (unsuccessfully) to make it look modern. 20 Mar

I dreamt I ran into Jesse Jackson and told him I’d campaigned for him when he ran for president in ’84. (But in real life, no, I didn’t.) 20 Mar

I dreamt I watched Gene Wolfe studying a freebie table outside a dealers room, scooping up a handful of fliers, and chuckling. 20 Mar

I dreamt I planted bushels of Spring bulbs in a hotel lobby, which as I started to dig them in suddenly had a flooring as pliable as soil. 19 Mar

I dreamt @jennreese and @tinytempest were now roommates, and I visited their NYC apartment. There was much disdain for Steven Moffat.19 Mar

I dreamt I ran into Paul Di Filippo at Readercon, and was pleased he no longer had to wear that eyepatch. (I woke and thought … eyepatch?) 19 Mar

I dreamt it was my first day as a detective. I couldn’t get into the station to get the badge I’d forgotten, because I’d forgotten my badge! 19 Mar

I dreamt I was a bouncer at a club, but really an anti-bouncer, paid to allow events to escalate to violence for the owner’s amusement. 18 Mar

I dreamt I rode multiple escalators up and down a tall building, the walls decorated with writing by Jim Steranko in his great handwriting. 18 Mar

I dreamt I got in a fight with Damian Lewis over which of us was allowed to put his elbows on the table. “Hey, that’s MY thing!” Strange. 17 Mar

I dreamt I was being chased through the snow by a life-size audio-animatronic shark. But I wasn’t worried — it was playful, not scary. 17 Mar

Only fragments of dreams remain: an angry goldfish, having lunch at a restaurant with four people who only spoke Chinese. All else was lost. 16 Mar

I dreamt Harlan Ellison announced at a bookstore that he suddenly realized he’d been abrasive and apologized if he’d ever offended anyone. 13 Mar

I dreamt I planned a racetrack heist which would involve capuchin monkeys on tiny bicycles, and saw it all play out in a fantasy sequence. 12 Mar

I dreamt Terry Jones and I parked our cars near each other on the street, then watched as a semi pulled up and crushed them both flat. 12 Mar

I dreamt I went for a haircut, but after I left the salon, my hair was longer than before. I stood in the street, puzzling over my ponytail.12 Mar

I dreamt I was trapped on a reality TV show that somehow involved Kelly Cutrone, and no matter how hard I tried, I wasn’t allowed to quit. 12 Mar

I dreamt I stepped out from a bustling office for a break and when I returned, it was emptied — furniture, cubicle walls, etc. — all gone! 11 Mar

I dreamt I held my wife’s ghost in my arms, her skin all green and glowing, and told her not to be sad, that I’d be joining her soon.11 Mar

I dreamt I was juggling, and growing frustrated that I couldn’t pull off a certain move — even though I _knew_ it was humanly impossible.11 Mar

None of last night’s dreams survived, only snippets: In a nightclub with Neil Gaiman, unpacking with Paul Di Filippo, walking through snow. 10 Mar

I dreamt @shunn and I visited @johnklima in the hospital to cheer him up. Why was the guy in the hospital? No idea. But he was smiling. 9 Mar

I dreamt I tried to get ready for bed, but each time I shut a light, another would pop on. I felt as if I was playing electric Whack-a-Mole. 9 Mar

I dreamt Geoffrey Landis began pontificating about religion in the SFWA suite, so I quickly escaped to the less populated non-smoking room. 8 Mar

Ridiculous dream last night in which I ranted onstage about the superiority of almond Nature Valley bars over the apple and oatmeal flavors. 8 Mar

I dreamt I got ugly looks for noisily chugging Raisinets and popcorn at the movies, because something Schindler’s List-like was screening. 7 Mar

I dreamt I was dueling with a friend up and down NYC’s 57th Street when Stephen King wandered by and gave a thumbs-up to my broadsword.7 Mar

I dreamt I was a finalist in a drag competition being judged by RuPaul, and strutted around in high platform shoes and lots of red sequins.7 Mar

I dreamt Irene and I were in our stateroom about to start an Antarctic cruise, and all my family, living and dead, was there to see us off. 5 Mar

I dreamt I sat on a couch with Becky from Glee, working out the kinks of her invention — a robot that will make and bring you breakfast. 5 Mar

I dreamt I took part in a reality show involving me pretending to be a servant during medieval times and solving puzzles. It wasn’t fun.5 Mar

I dreamt I pretended not to understand the workings of an explosive device my wife found so as not to reveal — I was really a supervillain! 5 Mar

I dreamt I was drinking wine with Bob Picardo. The odd thing? I don’t drink, plus he was dressed as a cliched hippie, long hair and dashiki. 4 Mar

I dreamt that as I ate in a diner, Steve Martin walked by and gestured hypnotically in my direction, causing me to spill my milk. 4 Mar

I dreamt that as I admired a London house, it exploded, knocking my glasses off. I woke while using a bottle to wash shrapnel from my eyes. 4 Mar

I dreamt I lived in a squalid NY apartment with a nonfunctional elevator, and yet — George R. R. Martin held a Thrones viewing party there. 3 Mar

I dreamt I was hassled by the manager of an exclusive club, who wondered why I’d gotten in — even though I was there with Lucy Lawless! 2 Mar

I dreamt I was in a hotel bar during happy hour, and instead of mere finger food, they served chunks of meat carved from a whole roast ox. 2 Mar

I dreamt I hung out with James Earl Jones and Christoph Waltz after the Academy Awards. They each held an Oscar. But sadly, I had lost.2 Mar

I dreamt I sat with Jon Stewart outside on a couch in the middle of a college campus as we broadcast his show while drinking wine.1 Mar

I dreamt a friend dragged me to stand all day in front of a certain Jackson Pollock at MoMA, because the artist was known to visit it daily.1 Mar

I dreamt I was a young African-American female rapper, showing my first tracks to a producer. Yes, my dreams DO cross race and gender lines. 1 Mar

I dreamt I was Dexter, taking out a witness to one of my past murders, then discovering I had a witness to THAT one. My work never ends! 1 Mar