October was a rather light month in terms of my dream life—or should I say, my remembered dream life—because I’ve always understood that we all have dreams whether we remember them or not. In any case, three consecutive weekends of travel—Capclave, followed by a trip with Irene to her NJ Romance Writers Convention, after which I headed to San Diego for World Fantasy Con—meant there were an awful lot of mornings during which, when I’d wake, I could feel the dreams slip away.

Here’s what remained.

Special guests this month include Martin Scorsese, Rick Grimes, Andy Rooney, Sean McNamara, Paul Di Filippo—and maybe you.

October 2011 Dream Tweets

I dreamt I lived in the rental apartment at which our landlord insisted we no longer use our lawnmower on the carpets. So I broke the lease. 31 Oct

I dreamt Cap’n Crunch fell from a great height, and I stood over his lifeless form crying for him to get up. But the Cap’n was dead. 29 Oct

I dreamt I attended a wedding ceremony performed entirely in Hebrew, understood nothing, and felt like a bad Jew. Well, until the food came. 28 Oct

I dreamt The Office’s Dwight Schrute gave me relationship advice on how best to get along with Irene, and I was wise enough to ignore it. 28 Oct

I dreamt I was hanging around a humongous BBQ grill with The Walking Dead’s Rick Grimes and chatting about how life used to be. 28 Oct

I dreamt I returned from a visit to an alternate universe and was desperately trying to blow up the portal before anyone could follow me. 26 Oct

I dreamt that during a banquet at Irene’s romance writer conference I tried to help our waitress clear the table and only made things worse. 25 Oct

I dreamt I messed up telling Richard Lupoff how much I looked forward to his new novel by misdescribing the ending of his previous book. 25 Oct

I dreamt my son wouldn’t move to a rural area because it would be difficult without a car to carry soda. I said I’d ship him all he needed. 25 Oct

I dreamt I read a letter in the local paper from a woman advocating a ban on synagogues. Irene told me it’d never pass, but I still worried. 25 Oct

I dreamt I attempted to show off a portrait of my parents, but the spotlight above the painting wouldn’t work, so they couldn’t be seen. 25 Oct

I dreamt I was touring an old house I was considering renovating when the ghost of Grandpa Al Lewis popped up and tried to scare me off. 25 Oct

I lost one of my dreams because I can no longer remember what this middle-of-the-night note means: “Joel McHale holds babies.” 24 Oct

I dreamt my son came up behind me at the entrance of a Disney-like park and hugged me, but once we got inside, he was nowhere to be found. 24 Oct

I dreamt I drove a Rolls Royce and lifted it to my waist, carrying it like a Flintstones car with the help of Steve Jones and Jonathan Ross. 24 Oct

I dreamt I joined all my Syfy coworkers in “sweding” a movie. Can’t remember which, but Marlon Jackson sure looked awesome with yellow hair. 23 Oct

I dreamt I read comics that don’t exist, including one in which the Legion of Super-Heroes’ Mon-El battled a Dalek, as drawn by Nick Cardy. 20 Oct

I dreamt a horde of zombies invaded our house, and I killed at least one of them by hitting it over the head with a heavy shovel. 20 Oct

Many dreams last night, but all I remember now are fragments — putting on my hiking boots, falling from a ladder, etc. — nothing coherent. 19 Oct

I dreamt I sat in the back row at a contentious SFWA meeting, and even though I had nothing to say, kept getting called on to comment. 18 Oct

I dreamt I visited DC and was invited to pull comics (none of which exist outside dreamland) from a freebie wall. Lots of Kubert war covers! 18 Oct

I dreamt I was in a film that had me hammering at a piano with a high-heeled shoe. When the rain of maggots came, I kept my mouth closed. 17 Oct

I dreamt I subdued a guy who pulled out a gun in midtown Manhattan, but though I held his wrists for hours, no one came to take him away. 16 Oct

I dreamt that while on the way to see Roger Ebert I visited with Andy Rooney, and told him I hoped to see the two of them play tennis. 15 Oct

I dreamt I was at work in my hotel room when Pink arrived and critiqued what I was wearing. She didn’t like my WWI leather aviators helmet. 14 Oct

I dreamt I watched a panel during which two guys in Superman suits unexpectedly set up a temporary trapeze and performed an acrobatic act. 12 Oct

I dreamt I was at a panel during which @rosefox nimbly dodged the wildly flailing arms of the gesticulating panelists on either side of her. 12 Oct

I dreamt I waited endlessly at the passport office, reading a Sunday comics section filled with strips that don’t exist in real life. 11 Oct

I dreamt I stepped upstairs at a Chinese restaurant and discovered a criminal lair out of a Bond movie, with a circular table and huge map. 11 Oct

I dreamt I was held hostage in a stalled elevator for $1,000,000, but once the money was delivered, my captors couldn’t get it moving again. 11 Oct

I dreamt I quoted the Bible to confront some fanatics bothering Irene about a murder they thought she committed … but I kept misquoting. 10 Oct

I dreamt a friend of mine housesat while I was on a trip, and when I called to see how things were, there was a lag like he was on the Moon. 10 Oct

I dreamt I was on a plane and instead of the usual boring mags to read, the airline had comics — including my favorite issue of Deadman. 10 Oct

I dreamt I sat in a dark theater and my name was called as winner of a prize in a soap opera contest but I couldn’t see where to collect it. 9 Oct

I dreamt that as Irene and I walked by a canal through some European city, a guy leapt out at Irene and I had to use wrestling moves on him. 9 Oct

I dreamt Nip/Tuck’s Sean McNamara was kidnapped and held hostage a la Misery — for a long time, as there was a montage of passing seasons. 9 Oct

I dreamt a mother sang to her criminal son, “That’s Why You Shouldn’t Kill a Cop” to the tune of “That’s Why the Lady is a Tramp.” Bizarre. 8 Oct

I dreamt no one showed for a Worldcon panel, “Why Women Should Read Robert E. Howard,” so I sat alone in the audience to be supportive. 8 Oct

I dreamt I was waiting for the school bus with Kurt Hummel. As we talked, I learned it was my birthday this week, his birthday last week. 8 Oct

I dreamt I interviewed a corrupt preacher, carrying rosary beads so he’d think I was one of his flock, but I was really there to expose him. 7 Oct

I dreamt I was at Syfy with Matt Romano waiting for the Nobel Prize for Literature to be announced so I could see if I had to write it up. 6 Oct

I dreamt I was zooming down the highway on a motorcycle behind an airplane with folded wings which suddenly unfolded them and took off. 6 Oct

I dreamt Irene came into my office with a neck brace, her hair in rollers, and her eyes scrunched tightly closed. And she wouldn’t say why. 6 Oct

I dreamt I rode a monorail through Las Vegas in an attempt to get back to my hotel, which never seemed to arrive. I woke while still riding. 5 Oct

I dreamt I gave up my editing gig to open a bakery, and Paul Di Filippo and Deb Newton watched as I kneaded my first batch of dough. 5 Oct

I dreamt I was helping Martin Scorsese edit a doc on the history of film, and (impossibly) found him footage of bullfighters from the 1850s. 4 Oct

I dreamt I was in my teen apt., but the age I am now, complaining to my dad about something (but what?) that happened in the years between. 4 Oct

I dreamt I helped Lucas and Spielberg excavate a huge M-shaped boulder and then move it across their property with a bulldozer. 4 Oct

I dreamt I circled the block in my old Brooklyn neighborhood looking for a parking space and noted many of my neighbors now owned camels. 3 Oct

I dreamt I found a lost baby toddling along, and when I scooped it up and asked it where its parents were, it replied clearly: “In Heaven.” 2 Oct

Halfway through a dream watching Mitt Romney speak in a crowded shopping mall, I _became_ Mitt Romney giving the speech. Very disconcerting. 2 Oct

I dreamt I spoke to a friend until 6 a.m., then suggested we have breakfast. But no — suddenly we were on the phone, not face to face. 2 Oct

I dreamt a friend gave me a story he wrote that featured Harlan Ellison. Before I could read it, Harlan phoned demanding to read it first. 2 Oct

I dreamt I rode shotgun as Irene drove a Lamborghini as part of an amusement park ride. She somehow broke free and flipped it on the beach. 1 Oct