It’s that time again, when I gather together the previous month’s dream tweets and let them rub up against each other to see how surreal they look when that happens.

In July, I dreamt of Pete Seeger, Cee Lo Green, Joe Pesci, Sol Brodsky, James Patrick Kelly … and maybe even you. Let’s see, shall we?

July 2011

I lost one of my dreams due to illegible handwriting. I have no idea what “went under [illegible] several [illegible] not get away” means. 31 July

I dreamt I was about to interview Sarah Palin, only my office door was locked, and I couldn’t get in with her to retrieve my recorder. 31 July

I dreamt I sat in a chair next to my father, who was in bed watching bullfighting and episodes of I Love Lucy on TV and getting paid for it. 31 July

I dreamt I wandered at Clarion with James Patrick Kelly, engaged in an intense debate over which local restaurant served the best pancakes. 31 July

I dreamt I was the Matt Smith Doctor Who, shouting for a subway platform to be evacuated while demanding someone bring me an arc welder. 31 July

I dreamt I was still editing SF Age and interviewing a teenager to be my assistant. He surprised me by knowing secrets about Martin Goodman. 30 July

I dreamt I was slowly and carefully counting out and eating gummi bears one by one, but I lost count when I had to rescue a runaway train. 29 July

I dreamt I slid the paper sleeves containing lyrics off my LPs and stapled them together to research a singer … but I can’t remember who. 28 July

I dreamt I saw an old timey steam engine far in the distance which was suddenly here pulling out, and I rushed to say farewell to friends. 27 July

I dreamt I learned what Chris Meloni’s been up to since quitting L&O: SVU. I ordered a corned beef sandwich at a deli and he was my waiter! 26 July

I dreamt I was at a drive-in theater when zombies invaded and I hid under my car to escape them. I woke before learning whether this worked. 26 July

I dreamt Artie Nielsen handed out “free” money on the street, but accepting it obligated you to publish your book through his vanity press. 25 July

I dreamt a huge gorilla bit into my face and refused to let go. While I screamed, my father, aware it was a dream, shouted at me to wake up. 25 July

I dreamt I sang Woody Guthrie’s Union Maid with Pete Seeger and told him about my lame attempt to learn the banjo. He urged me to try again. 24 July

I dreamt I was Gandalf, trying unsuccessfully to set off fireworks, and growing frustrated because I was unable to get fuses to stay lit. 23 July

I dreamt I was hanging with friends on a vast lawn (Central Park?) when a tax agent shouted my name and I pretended to be someone else. 23 July

I dreamt I came up with a killer concept for another iteration of Stargate, and pitched it to the guys who could get it made into a series. 22 July

I dreamt I was with an armed group in a post-apocalyptic world as we met another group and attempted to trust rather than kill each other. 22 July

I dreamt that while searching for the burial site of a neighbor’s dog, I instead found the body of a neighbor who’d mysteriously vanished. 21 July

I dreamt that @neilhimself somehow knew the winners of every award for the next year and I listened as he whispered the results to a friend. 21 July

I dreamt my wife was here with me in this San Diego hotel room and felt quite comforted. 21 July

I dreamt I wandered a fruit market with Adam-Troy Castro in search of fresh durian and then abandoning it for even more grotesque fruit. 21 July

I dreamt I stood over a hot roasting pan carving up a turkey while Greg Feeley gave advice on how to turn the drippings into gravy. 20 July

I dreamt George Clooney and I made things disappear with the power of our minds. But when we tried to jaunte a la Alfred Bester, I woke up. 14 July

I dreamt I was puzzled while watching a TV movie about an autistic child in which the kid was being played by a quite elderly Dick Van Dyke. 13 July

I dreamt I was hiking cross-country with five strangers. We stopped at a rundown bodega to stock up, but found a high-end steakhouse inside. 13 July

I dreamt a flashmob of people dressed in Elizabethan garb popped up in the middle of the street and performed a famous play I could not ID. 13 July

I dreamt I was unable to make my way down a hotel hallway because a glaring Steve Buscemi rode a motorized scooter, refusing to let me pass. 13 July

I dreamt Irene and I moved back to Brooklyn and into the same Park Slope apartment we lived in during the ’70s, which was oddly unchanged. 12 July

I dreamt Paul Di Filippo changed into a moving drawing, like that guy in A-ha’s “Take on Me” music video, but drawn by John Buscema. 12 July

I dreamt @ColleenLindsay and I huddled together in the SFWA suite complaining fiercely about something — but what was it? I can’t remember. 12 July

I dreamt that while talking juggling with Mary Robinette Kowal, I told her I planned to write a story titled “Mickey Rooney Invades Moscow.” 12 July

I dreamt I attended a Paul Di Filippo reading at which two giant babies tried to steal his manuscript. I hurled myself atop it to stop them. 12 July

I dreamt I helped Catherine Asaro and Deanna Hoak clean up the SFWA suite at 3:30 a.m. mainly consisting of me folding endless tablecloths. 11 July

I dreamt I left a late night con party only to discover I was walking barefoot in the hall, so I began banging on doors in search of shoes. 11 July

I dreamed at least one more dream, but my middle-of-the-night note sparked no spark. What does “lived gave world had to make thrones” mean?10 July

I dreamt I wandered a Falling Skies world in search of weapons, but we had to careful. If handled the wrong way, some could wipe your mind. 10 July

I dreamt I sat with @maureenmcq in a crowded SFWA suite swapping stories. I wish I could remember them now, ’cause she had some good ones!10 July

I dreamt we tried to board a plane, and our line went on from room to room, and I got mad and shouted there really was no plane, was there? 10 July

I dreamt I was a child who’d escaped from a kidnapper, and each time I saw and ran toward a policeman, he was suddenly further away from me. 10 July

I dreamt I was in a car with Lea Michele. I wanted her to hear the Hawaii Five-0 theme, but when I turned on a CD, we heard The Prisoner. 9 July

I dreamt Irene and I visited the house of George Bush the Elder, which was huge and endless like some villain’s lair from a Bond movie. 9 July

I dreamt that while flipping through a dog-eared paperback I ran across a review of a one-man show I’d supposedly done about my Marvel days. 8 July

I dreamt that while going with Irene to the opera, I saw two old HS friends on the street — who turned out to be attending the same opera. 8 July

I dreamt Irene had me call her brother, but it was my _mother’s_ brother (my uncle) who answered the phone, and that didn’t seem at all odd. 8 July

I dreamt I bumped into Cee Lo Green, we sang a few songs, and he suggested we put out an album together. (BTW — I don’t watch The Voice.) 8 July

I dreamt Sol Brodsky was explaining to me why Marvel needed to move its corporate offices to Canarsie. None of what he said made much sense. 7 July

I dreamt I showed up for work at a bank, which seemed quite conservative save for one woman working on a huge charcoal portrait of the Hulk. 7 July

I dreamt I sat across a conference room table as Harlan Ellison horrified me by ripping the covers off beat-up copies of ’60s Marvel Comics. 7 July

I have no idea what dream this hastily scribbled note was supposed to make me remember: “hotel oliver queen tall building like plane” 6 July

I dreamt I sat with Ernest Lilley at a con and explained how Blastr works. But aren’t dreams supposed to be an _escape_ from real life? 6 July

I dreamt I tracked down a college student to interview him about his art project which had been mistaken by the TSA for a terrorist device. 5 July

I dreamt I was given a numbered handheld mechanical device and thrust into a parking lot so I could push a button and vote. But for what? 5 July

I dreamt one of my guests announced he wouldn’t let his daughter see a play because “They’ve ruined Shakespeare.” I never found out how. 4 July

I dreamt I was in a skyscraper so tall that looking out its windows was like looking out the window of an airplane. 3 July

I dreamt I grew anxious when I realized I’d taken the day off without letting my boss know. One reason I worried? My boss was Tony Soprano. 2 July

I dreamt I time traveled to an old Worldcon, where I handed Earl Kemp an envelope which contained predictions about his future/my past life. 2 July

I dreamt Joe Pesci, in full gangster mode, forced a gold pocket watch on me, which unfortunately meant I now owed him some future favor. 1 July

I dreamt I was at a big deal Hollywood banquet, and Roger Ebert, who still had his voice, took me around and introduced me to luminaries. 1 July