As anyone who’s ever seen me play softball or touch football knows (or should I say, as anyone who’s ever seen me try to play softball or touch football knows), I’m about the least athletic person on the planet. Which is why I’m glad that I’m able to provide evidence that during the summer of ’76, I was able to raise my game from pathetic to merely embarrassing as part of the Marvel Comics softball team.

What position did I play? I was put wherever the rest of the team felt I could do the least damage at any given moment.

As the certificate below proves, I was the team’s Most Improved Player. But just to show how miserable my performance really was, I’ll point out that the certificate calls me the Most Improved Player … for a Boy. If not for parsing the categories that finely, I’m sure that when the time came to hand out the awards at the banquet at the end of the season, I’d have walked away empty handed.

Because calling any change in my playing abilities an improvement was an act of kindness. Believe me.

The certificate was designed by … wait a second. Let’s make this a quiz.

If you’d like to guess who created these certificates, stop reading now, examine the lettering closely, and think about it for a bit. Then take your guess, scroll down, and see if you were right.

Are you done cogitating?

Ready to know who’s responsible?

Are you sure?

Well, then …

… it’s …

… it’s …

… Marie Severin, of course!

Did you guess correctly?