I have an extremely active dream life, and those that I remember I share each morning on Twitter. Once a month, I harvest them from the rest of my tweets and share them here. So below is what went through my sleeping mind during April.

My guest stars included Elaine Stritch, Jamie Foxx, John Barrowman, Woody Allen, Ray Bradbury, Paul Newman, Mad Men’s Roger Sterling, and more.

Step into last month’s subconscious …

APRIL 2013



I dreamt that as I headed to an opera house, I saw ‪@doctorow rushing the other way, having forgotten his ticket. We agreed to speak later. 30 Apr

I dreamt I was part of a drug deal gone bad, but somehow was able to get away and hide in an alley until it all blew over. 28 Apr

I dreamt I was with ‪@mrbelm at a party run by the people behind that world’s 50 best restaurants list, but couldn’t get to any of the food! 28 Apr

I dreamt I was carrying my father’s coffin from the hearse to the gravesite, and one of the pallbearers was Mad Men’s Roger Sterling.

 28 Apr

I dreamt I was on a courtesy computer in a hotel lobby with ‪@amelia_beamer, searching fruitlessly for an article I’d hoped to show her.

 27 Apr

I dreamt I attended Xavier’s School for Gifted Mutants, and all around me, kids pranked each other. I never found out my own power though.

 26 Apr

I dreamt that after my waitress brought my entree, I noticed she was — Elaine Stritch! So I jumped up and hugged her and wouldn’t let go.

 25 Apr

I dreamt a man with a razor tried to mug me on a deserted nighttime street, but I kept spinning out of his reach and eventually got away.

 25 Apr

I dreamt I was given a tour of an extremely odd museum, about which I remember little, save for the surreal room of deflated balloons.

 25 Apr

I dreamt I spotted a kidnapper with his child victim in a bus station. When he seemed distracted, I tackled him and held until police came.

 24 Apr

(more…)

Another month has gone by, so I again gather the dreams I’ve been tweeting to see whether they make any more sense en masse than they do individually. During March, I dreamt of Liam Neeson, James Earl Jones, Ernie Kovacs, Eric Northman, Abraham Lincoln, and—as you’ll see if you read below—many others.

MARCH 2013

I dreamt I sat in a ukulele class and looked down to see I was holding a guitar –and only 15 minutes left, so no time to retrieve my uke! 31 Mar

I dreamt I hopped on a beautiful silver rocket bike, but none of the buttons did anything more than make lights flash. I still had to pedal. 31 Mar

I dreamt I happened to be in a parking lot when Obama and a bunch of kids came out, signed a document of their meeting, then left it behind. 30 Mar

I dreamt I was in Vienna, and in order to mock someone who’d betrayed my friends, I sang him a taunting song in German in a theater lobby. 30 Mar

I dreamt a Beastie Boys-like band was about to record one of my songs at an amusement park, and I waited for the limo to take me there. 30 Mar

I dreamt I was doing a final walk-through with a realtor, making sure everything was ready for our buyers to do _their_ final walk-through. 30 Mar

I dreamt I was in the Marvel Bullpen explaining various ways comics artists make it look like it’s raining — Wite-Out, X-Acto blades, etc. 29 Mar

I dreamt I was in charge of wrangling the entire cast of Babylon 5 at a media con — except for Bruce Boxleitner, who refused to show. 29 Mar

I dreamt the Worldcon was being held in Baltimore, and as I wandered the room parties, I kept repeatedly encountering Mary Turzillo. 29 Mar

I dreamt about telomeres, but … I can’t remember in what context. Was I researching them, having mine extended, eating them? Who knows? 28 Mar

(more…)

February is long over, but March has been so busy, I’ve been unable until now to gather together the month’s dreams to see what kind of surreal sense they make when rubbing up against each other in one place. So here they are, including guess appearances from Barack Obama, Jim Parsons, Chip Delany, William Shatner, Justin Timberlake, and more.

February 2013


I found this note next to my bed — WORKING ON FILE FOR DEATH ROW GUY — but I have zero memory of the dream it represents. It’s lost!

 Feb 28

I dreamt I was at a zoo where the animals could wander freely, which seemed OK at first, but when the elephant got near, I thought … no.

 Feb 27 


I dreamt I got into a weird debate about eyewear in pop culture, which ended when I won the conversation by saying two words: Swifty Lazar. Feb 26 


I dreamt I was having dinner at ‪@NextRestaurant, talking to ‪@NickKokonas about my upcoming (really happening) lunch at Eleven Madison Park. Feb 26 


I dreamt I was heading to pick up a pig for a pig roast, only when I got there, I worried it was far too big to fit in the back of my Jeep.

 Feb 25 


I dreamt I rode a bus with my friend Allan, heading to deal with an inheritance of his. We arrived at a sunny beach in Miami … and I woke.

 Feb 25 


I dreamt that as I drove home in a stolen car, I stopped to have the oil changed and worried I’d get found out. But … why’d I stop then?

 Feb 25 


I dreamt I ran a publishing company and was addressing the troops, holding up one of Russ Cochran’s EC reprint books to explain a project.Feb 25 
 



I’ve lost one of my dreams, as my hastily scrawled middle-of-the-night note sparks no memory. What can DEPENDS ON HOW EVIL DECISION IS mean?

 Feb 24 


I dreamt Irene and I were watching Star Trek 2 live on TV on opening night, when she quickly shut it, saying “I know crap when I see it.”

 Feb 24 


(more…)

I had two dreams featuring a similar theme last night, and yes, I’m 100% sure they actually were two dreams, rather than a single dream shifting time and place, because I was awake between the two, getting up and scribbling down the initial dream before falling back asleep.

In the first, I was at a science fiction convention, only it was far classier than any science fiction convention I’ve ever been to. It was more like a classy Park Avenue cocktail party, with a bar, and waiters circulating with canapés, and someone tinkling away at a grand piano. As I wandered with drink in hand, I saw Chip Delany in the distance, and went over to greet him. Although in the dream he was still the age he is now in real life, he was trim the way he was in his youth, and filled with vigor, with no need of a cane.

“You once more look like a god,” I told him, amazed at his transformation.

We talked a bit about how he had gotten as fit again as he once had been, but then he seemed a bit miffed, and told me that he was a little upset I was talking about all that instead of asking after his child. So I apologized, for in the dream, he and his partner had recently adopted a baby, and I’d known that, knew the kid had health problems, and felt a bit embarrassed for not asking how he was doing. (more…)

A new month has begun, and so, as usual, I gather together my dreams (which I tweet whenever they occur) from the month before to see whether poetry can be made from allowing them to rub up against each other. During the first month of 2013, I dreamt of Isaac Asimov, Batman, Sean Connery, Gardner Dozois, Larry David, and maybe some of you.

JANUARY 2013

I dreamt Eric Van had written an original song for me to play on the ukulele. Sadly, I knocked over my drink and accidentally erased it.

 31 Jan

I dreamt I was free falling, head toward the earth, feet toward the sky. It as pleasant, though I woke before I needed to open my chute.

 30 Jan 
 



I dreamt I listened to Isaac Asimov speak at a kaffeeklatsch for two hours, then headed off to the con suite. Sadly, I remember no details.

 30 Jan

I dreamt I was an old Chinese guy amused to be taken to a Chinese restaurant by someone who thought I’d like it. Woke before I ate anything! 

30 Jan

I dreamt I sliced peppers at ‪@NextRestaurant, ‪@GAchatz watching. When I looked upon what I had done, I was embarrassed by my sloppy work.

 30 Jan 


I dreamt I talked to Conan O’Brien about online reviewing ethics. He didn’t speak, just raised an eyebrow quizzically. Man, was he tall.

 30 Jan

I appear to have lost a dream, because now that I’m awake, I have no idea what my middle-of-the-night scribble ACCEPT WEIRD MEAL means. 

28 Jan

I dreamt I drove with the ambassador when his head was cut off. I demanded to be taken to the airport — but Sean Connery insisted we fight.

 28 Jan 


I dreamt I waited with a huge crowd for the arrival of a bus I _had_ to catch, and was required to remove my shoes before I could board. 

28 Jan 


I dreamt I made a meal out of hundreds of differently flavored bees hovering about me that I plucked out of the air one by one and savored. 

28 Jan

(more…)

Well, 2012 is over, so it’s time to gather together my final dreams from 2012 and see what can be discovered by throwing them together in one place. Here are not only my dream tweets from December, but November’s as well, since I was apparently too busy to harvest them a month ago.

Let’s see whether any accidental poetry can be achieved in this way, shall we?

DECEMBER 2012

I dreamt I was in a storage unit where wife and sister-in-law kept collectibles, holding door shut as intruders tried to force their way in. 29 Dec

I dream I bought Irene many pastries to eat during an opera intermission. Which seems like an appropriate first dream to remember in Vienna. 28 Dec

I dreamt we checked into a hotel and were somehow given a multi-level suite. My first thought — who do we know in this town for a party? 26 Dec

I dreamt Irene was playing a casino’s slot machine, when all of a sudden she won, and a mountain of gold coins spilled out around her feet. 26 Dec

I dreamt Paul Kupperberg and I were doing a Comic-Con panel when it was shut down and we were sent home due to the death of Ogden Whitney. 26 Dec

I dreamt I ate all the frosting from a Sara Lee orange cake while an old woman looked on disapprovingly. Yet I felt no remorse. 25 Dec

I dreamt a sad old Alzheimer’s guy bought a box of candy, and by the time he paid, forgot he’d done so and almost leave the shop without it. 25 Dec

I dreamt I worked for United in a dizzying skyscraper, and got to my office by climbing a ladder on the outside and leaping in my window. 25 Dec

I dreamt a friend of mine said he was too depressed to leave his hotel room and see me, so I strummed “Cabaret” on the uke until he would. 25 Dec

I dreamt I was in a NYC office when @kwnewton shouted bombs were going off, and we all ran to watch it on TV. I wondered how I’d get home. 24 Dec

(more…)

Another month has gone by, which means another month of fun mind movies for me, which I share each morning over on Twitter. And as usual, I’ve gathered them here, because seeing them together like this adds an additional level of surreality.

Welcome to my subconscious!

October 2012 Dreams

I dreamt I got into an Ed Sullivan impersonation duel with Will Jordan, then my HS pal Mark Diamond showed up and we both did Mick Jagger. 29 Oct

I dreamt I had an intense discussion with Nicholas Brody and Carrie Mathison. Not sure about what. (Hadn’t even seen last night’s Homeland!) 29 Oct

I dreamt I wandered a dense city looking for a particular BBQ joint. I’d forgotten its name, though, and was trying to find it by nose. 26 Oct

I dreamt I was on a train with old timey journalists, none of whom would take my bet about when an electronic pub would win a Pulitzer. 26 Oct

I dreamt I filled in for Jon Stewart one night, but then he showed up in the middle of the show, not happy I was sitting in his chair. 26 Oct

I dreamt I was at a restaurant meeting with the entire ‪@Syfy digital team. We ate frozen grapes, and Meinhardt Raabe was a special guest. 26 Oct

I dreamt that while I was waiting to fly to Comic-Con, I saw a woman prevented from boarding because she was George R. R. Martin’s stalker. 25 Oct

I dreamt I spotted a HUGE bug on the wall and was about to swat it, but became afraid crushing its egg sac would free thousands of babies. 24 Oct

I dreamt I was reading a tribute site put together by fans of the candy store my mother used to own. (IRL, my mother owned no such thing.) 23 Oct

I dreamt Dennis Franz stopped at my house in the middle of his coast-to-coast walking tour. And he was fueling himself by eating candy only. 23 Oct (more…)

I remembered fewer dreams than usual during September, thanks to my lengthy trip to Chicago for Worldcon and many culinary adventures. Dreams tend to fade before I can scribble them down when I’m exhausted and in a strange bed, which always gives me a sense of loss, because I enjoy my dreams, revel in them, really, and hate to forget even one.

But what remained was still choice, and as always, the dreams benefit from being collected and allowed to rub up against each other this way. September’s guest stars included David Boreanaz, George R. R. Martin, Alanis Morissette, Tom Hanks, Harlan Ellison, E. Nelson Bridwell, and many others.

SEPTEMBER 2012

I dreamt I was in The Colbert Report live audience, and when he introduced Alanis Morissette, the camera instead cut to him dressed as her. 30 Sep

I dreamt I was on a train to Machu Picchu, and when I looked up from my iPad, I saw Tom Hanks and Will Sasso (as Bill Clinton) were there. 30 Sep

I dreamt @scalzi got mad at me because while visiting him, I destroyed my first drafts. But more because in doing so, I flooded his house. 29 Sep

I dreamt three old guys drove to our door to deliver a kingsized mattress, only I looked at them and thought … no way they can lift it. 28 Sep

I dreamt my wife was cradling my son, suddenly a baby once again, and then passed him to me, and I rocked him. Oddly, he could still speak. 28 Sep

I dreamt I talked to my grandmother about my memories of my great-grandmother (even though grandma is dead, and I never met great-grandma). 28 Sep

I dreamt my boss @CraigEngler drove up, and I served him most of a chocolate cake with my bare hands, saving one slice for @IreneVartanoff. 26 Sep

I dreamt I worked as a baker at my friends’ cafe, and decided I was going to attempt to convince them to sell me part of the business. 25 Sep

I dreamt I was on a pitch black cruise ship searching for a light switch, as I was scheduled to teach a juggling workshop and needed to see. 25 Sep

I dreamt I came up out of the NYC subway to discover fanciful architecture that never really existed — stone towers, ornate gardens, etc. 24 Sep (more…)

As usual, whenever a new month begins, I gather together all of the dreams I tweeted the previous month to see whether they gain anything by rubbing up against one another. During August, I dreamt of Cornel West, Jaclyn Smith, Nelson Van Alden, Cory Doctorow, Boyz II Men and more.

August 2012

I dreamt I sat with ‪@MaryRobinette at a Star Wars event, eating ‪@Alinea‘s Lamb 86, watching James Lipton interview Ralph McQuarrie. 30 Aug

I dreamt Harlan Ellison had written a controversial story starring Sammy Davis, Jr. which we couldn’t stop arguing about during ‪#Chicon7. 29 Aug

I dreamt I was a new SNL cast member, performing in my second show, having a ball watching the band from backstage. (I don’t remember who.) 29 Aug

I dreamt I sent President Obama a postcard, and though I have no memory of what I wrote, I remember very meticulously applying the stamp. 27 Aug

I dreamt I rode shotgun in a car, trapped listening to an extremely unfunny comedian sitting between me and the driver, testing out his act. 27 Aug

I dreamt my dad was Terry Crews in his persona from the Chris Rock Show and I disappointed him by not understanding a chore he tried to describe. 27 Aug

I dreamt I was in some unidentified foreign country buying pastries to eat aboard a train, and when I turned around — my bags were gone! 27 Aug

I dreamt I escaped (from who knows what) on a riverboat, pursued (who knows why) by a woman who turned herself into a mouse to sneak aboard. 27 Aug

I dreamt a group of friends and I watched ALL of Lost, and as the final credits rolled, we stood, held hands, and sang. I don’t recall what. 26 Aug

I dreamt that as I walked crowded city streets, Darrell Schweitzer zoomed by on a Segway, handing out flyers for a new Kickstarter project. 26 Aug (more…)

One month ends, and another begins, so let’s see what treats my subconscious left me in July, shall we? I was visited by Andre the Giant, John Kessel, Kevin Sorbo, David Hartwell, Harlan Ellison, Snookie, and more.

July 2012 Dreams

I dreamt I arrived late to acting class, and my partner, who wasn’t happy, had to explain the teacher’s instructions about our coming scene. 30 Jul

I dreamt I was in a room with two identical incarnations of my mother. I tried and failed to figure out which needed to go to the hospital. 30 Jul

I dreamt I was on staff at Marvel Comics discussing Cosmic Cube variations — Cosmic Cone, anyone? — with Danny Fingeroth. 30 Jul

I dreamt that as I walked a city street, David Hartwell approached, accompanied by Andre the Giant. I never learned why they were together. 30 Jul

I dreamt I arrived at a play to find the OTHER Scott Edelman’s name already on a volunteer sign-up, which I feared would lead to confusion. 30 Jul

I dreamt that as Stephen Colbert ran through a blooming lotus garden, I jogged a path alongside it, until we met at garden’s end. 30 Jul

I dreamt that as a I wandered a city, large dogs would stop and attempt to deliver a message. But sadly, I could not decipher their speech. 29 Jul

I dreamt I was being hunted by those towering X-Men Sentinels. No idea why they were after me — I wasn’t a mutant — but I hid anyway. 29 Jul

I dreamt I jogged through a city, and after several blocks, realized — Hey! I’ve never been able to run this well before! So I woke up. 28 Jul

I dreamt that at the end of a bad day, I remembered that though I cancelled that morning’s trip, I never called the airline about my flight. 28 Jul (more…)