I’ve often told you that I’m never quite sure these days whether the highlight of the many conventions I attend is the conventions themselves or the destination restaurants I arrange to visit at the same time. Such was the case with Loncon3, the 72nd World Science Fiction Convention. (Though it was only my personal 27th … and the 40th anniversary of my first, at that!)

Which means I’d arranged to visit The Fat Duck before Loncon3 was to begin. Sadly, United Airlines lost my luggage for two days, which meant that I was unable to wear my purple boating blazer as planned, and was stuck with the casual jacket and jeans I’d worn over on the flight. This caused a bit of anxiety at first, because surely one of the best restaurants in the world deserved a bit of dressing up, but a quick read of The Fat Duck FAQ calmed me down, as it reads:

We do not have a dress code policy at the restaurant – please come along however you feel comfortable.

And so, after picking up a new shirt, socks and underwear (TMI, I know) at a men’s shop near our hotel, Irene and I met David Shaw, Diane Martin, their son, and Graham Sleight at Paddington Station for a train to Maidenhead, followed by a short cab ride to the village of Bray.

We arrived slightly early for our 1:30 lunch, and so wandered the picturesque village for a bit until we could bear to wait no longer.

Before you get to see the food, check out the centerpiece we found on our table when we were seated. Anticipation was high … and rewarded! (For what I’m sure will be a far more detailed description of the meal, keep checking back at David Shaw’s blog until he posts his own write-up.)

Our amuse bouche was aerated beet with horse radish. Light, delicate, with a gentle kick. What a way to start!

This was followed by nitro poached aperitifs, offered in a choice of vodka and lime sour, gin and tonic, tequila and grapefruit. Mine, as those of you who know me will already know, was prepared without alcohol.

Here’s David, I believe, delicately lifting his nitro poached aperitif. Any pressure and it would pop!

And with that, the meal truly began …

Red cabbage gazpacho, pommery grain mustard ice cream

Jelly of quail, crayfish cream

Truffle toast

Aromatic oak moss

Snail porridge, Iberico ham, shaved fennel

The groan that dish caused me to utter was profound …

Roast foie gras, gooseberry, confit kombu, and crab biscuit

Mad Hatter’s Tea Party

That teapot of mock turtle soup above doesn’t give the full experience of the presentation of the Fat Duck Mad Hatter’s Tea Party, due to my not consuming raw alcohol.

The course began with us being presented with a chest filled with what seemed like gold pocket watches. The other members of my party were instructed to pour the contents of the teapot over a watch as it was lowered into the bowl beneath. The watch would then dissolve, its contents released. Because of the alcohol issue, mine arrived fully dissolved.

No less tasty though!

Toast sandwiches at the Mad Hatter’s Tea Party

The Sound of the Sea

This dish incorporated mackerel, octopus, kingfish, seaweed foam and more … and an iPod!

Yes … an iPod.

Before the dish itself was brought out, we were each presented with a seashell containing a hidden iPod. Here I am listening to the sounds of the sea—waves crashing against the beach, seagulls circling overhead—before digging in.

Of course, having grown up in Brooklyn, my personal sounds of the sea are vendors shouting “Ice cream! Ice cream!” and “Get your cold sodas here!” … but I’m afraid that wouldn’t have made for as peaceful a course.

And here’s David Shaw, transported.

Then came perhaps my favorite dish, rivaled only by that snail porridge …

Salmon poached in a liquorice gel, artichokes, vanilla mayonnaise and golden trout roe.

Lamb with cucumber

Lamb tongue, lamb heart, and lamb scrag

Hot & iced tea at The Fat Duck.

Yes — it was both! Sip it once, and the tea was hot. Sip again, and the tea was cold. (I’ll leave it to David to explain the science of it all.)

Macerated strawberries (olive oil biscuit, chamomile and coriander) at The Fat Duck.

And a white chocolate table cloth!

Jelly and ice cream cornet

Botrytis cinerea

Certainly the most beautiful dish of the meal.

Then came The Fat Duck’s famous …

Whisk(e)y wine gums

I don’t drink alcohol, but even I was moved to try. Each wine gum apparently was the specific flavor of its region as shown on the map. Though I could appreciate the concept, it just wasn’t my thing. Everyone else seemed to appreciate it, though.

We ended with a striped pink bag containing the course called …

“Like a Kid in a Sweet Shop”

Aerated chocolate with mandarin jelly, apple pie caramel with an edible wrapper, and a Queen of Hearts tart.

Approximately four hours after we arrived—I would have been able to tell you the time more precisely had family matters not stolen the past three weeks from me—we headed back to London, looking forward to Worldcon … and to a second magnificent Heston Blumenthal meal waiting for us at Dinner once the con was over.

How would the two compare? You’ll have to wait to find out …