Back in January, on New Year’s Day, I cooked my first goose, and as another holiday season approached, I wanted to whip up some other sort of feast that was just as special, but also one that took me into new culinary territory. I chose suckling pig … the purchasing of which proved to be far more difficult than I’d at first imagined.

I figured I’d be able to buy one easily—don’t lots of folks serve them around Christmas?—but not a single butcher in my area carried them. And they couldn’t even recommend a local farmer who’d sell me one either. So I ran over to A & H Gourmet and Seafood Market in Bethesda—where I couldn’t resist buying those quail I told you about last week. I was looking for a 9-12 pound pig, but when I arrived, all they had was one that weighed 17.5 pounds. No big deal, I thought. I figured we’d have no problem eating that much pork.

But there was a secondary issue I hadn’t considered until after I got the beast home …

The frozen suckling pig was 24″ long, as you can see via the yardstick above, and we could easily store it in my basement freezer until I was ready. But I realized that not only is my refrigerator just 18″ wide, my oven is only slightly larger, at 22″ wide!

So when I moved the pig upstairs last week, I was forced to remove a shelf from our refrigerator so it could spend its week of thawing time vertically …

Then came the question of the best way to cook the pig. Luckily, according to the recipe sent to me by David Shaw:

Even an idiot can do it. You’d have to be a diabolical madman of unrivaled genius bent on destroying deliciousness in order to ruin a good suckling pig.

Whew! I was relieved, because as both an idiot AND a diabolical madman of unrivaled genius, I had been worried.

Luckily, once the thawing was complete, the pig became supple, and I was able curl it so it fit in our obviously inferior oven. Though as you can see, I still needed to roast it directly on the rack with cookie sheets and tin foil beneath as opposed to using a roasting pan (a move which the recipe recommended for those of us foolish enough to purchase too large a pig). Here it is before I shifted the rack into the oven …

And here it is after …

Looks delicious! But looks aren’t everything, so … how did it taste?

Well, I wanted the full range of flavors, so I served myself a little bit of every cut, starting with what I’m told is the best part of a suckling pig—the cheek. To that, I added some rib meat, some chunks off the back and one of the rear legs … and of course, an ear! And it was all (what else?) delicious and fall-off-the-bone moist. This idiot and diabolical madman had indeed failed to destroy the suckling pig. And there’s plenty of meat left over from our first meal to keep us well-fed until Christmas Eve, when we’ll be dining on a full seven-rib standing rib roast.

As for our next culinary adventure, I’ve still got my eyes on those squirrels wreaking havoc in the backyard. I want a taste of authentic Brunswick stew!