Once I made my mind up that I’d be attending last weekend’s Stoker Awards banquet, I decided to bookend the event with two unrelated lunches—one on Thursday with the Junior High School drama teacher who changed my life, the other on Sunday with Mirthful Marie Severin, with whom I worked a lifetime ago in the Marvel Comics Bullpen. But I ended up spontaneously having another lunch that had absolutely nothing to do with the Stokers, and for that I blame Jeff Strand.

Jeff had joined me in Austin at the Salt Lick as I attempted to recreate an episode of Man v. Food, and is now hooked on the show, so he joined me again—this time with his wife Lynne Hansen and friend Sally Bosco—as I worked my through a Long Island Man v. Food quest, visiting Ciao Baby and the International Delight Cafe. And during dinner Friday night, we swapped stories of our favorite restaurants, which of course led me to talking about Shopsins. That’s Shopsins of the infamous rules and the dizzying, ever-changing menu, where I’ve eaten (among other things) brisket in cherry gravy and slutty cakes (that is, pumpkin, peanut butter, and pistachio pancakes).

Surprisingly, I began to fall in love with Shopsins not by eating there, but from the documentary I Like Killing Flies, which I watched on a whim on IFC. And as soon as I saw it, I thought, this sounds like my kind of place.

Here are a couple of clips from the documentary that’ll give you an idea of the tone of the restaurant and the personality of owner Kenny Shopsin.

An here’s one more clip, as he demonstrates for the New York Times how to make his famous mac ‘n’ cheese pancakes.

Now about those rules …

Shopsins has a bunch of them, including (but not limited to) no cell phone use, no substitutions (because if you can’t find something you like on a menu with 1,000 items, you’re in the wrong establishment), no parties larger than four (because it’s impossible to serve more than four and have all the food ready at the same time), and no ordering of too much food (yes, I’ve been occasionally told to cut back). You’re either into all this or you’re not. And sometimes, if you’re not, you’re asked to leave.

I’m in. Way in.

Kenny Shopsin has said:

The brilliance of my restaurant is my ability to control my clientele. The thing that makes my restaurant special is my relationships and interactions with my customers—and the way they relate and interact with one another. With the wrong people here, those interactions don’t happen, so … I probably axe at least one party every day—and usually more than that. … Once we’ve established a rapport, my customers and I are absolute equals in my restaurant. But I guess I shouldn’t expect newcomers to understand this. In all fairness, they’re right and I’m the asshole, because my way is hardly the traditional you-give-me-the-money-I-give-you-a-bagel. I want more from them. I want a relationship.

Anyway, this is all a rather roundabout way of saying that after explaining Shopsins to my dinner companions Friday night, I was overcome by Shopsins lust, and couldn’t resist abandoning the Stoker event the following morning, hopping on the LIRR, and heading over to the Essex Street Market for another visit. I ended up ordering one of the Lunch Combo Trays, as you can see below.

What was included as part of my quartet was (clockwise from upper right) potato and okra curry, barbecued duck, coconut shrimp, and a marshmallow crepe. And it was all (as always) delicious!

How much do I love Shopsins? So much so that every time I eat there, I think, now THIS would (almost) be worth moving back to New York for!

I look forward to my next visit, which will be when I tag along with Irene in October as she attends the New Jersey Romance Writers Conference. It’ll surely be one of the highlights of that trip. Though, since this IS Shopsins after all, I have no idea what I’ll eat, because by then, the menu will have totally changed.